The Male & Female Dynamic of the 21st Century

[JAAJ]

@Rehan

which is thanks to self love and confidence fields, I just don’t understand why all the “games” are needed to get to know if a person likes you or not. Seems too much effort, that too with no visible reciprocations in terms of showing hints or signs.

High Self Love = Focus on high ROI in everything

[Powren]

I didn’t mean naked literally

[Drift]

Would love the community to do readings of those xD Would be pretty revealing.

[AlreadyThere]

@Rehan

I just don’t understand why all the “games” are needed to get to know if a person likes you or not. Seems too much effort, that too with no visible reciprocations in terms of showing hints or signs.

It’s probably easy for me to make light of it because I am not a male and have not experienced the frustrations that must be felt of always having to be the one to “put yourself out there”

So I empathize, and I’m happy you’re making peace with yourself and where you stand on these matters

I can’t say I really know the answer, as I don’t remember a lot from dating, but I think something as simple and lighthearted as the emoji thing can just be good for bringing laughter and fun into a conversation - and then just don’t stress about it, let it unfold

[JAAJ]

@AlreadyThere

…. I’m still thinking on the rest

[JAAJ]

@AlreadyThere

be good for bringing laughter and fun into a conversation

Humor and making someone laugh does not necessarily trigger sexual attraction though. In most cases it doesn’t. Entertainment value is not sexual market place value. Otherwise the clown of the class would also be the harem king…

[AlreadyThere]

I disagree though - jokes work. I feel the majority of women prefer men with a sense of humor.

[JAAJ]

@AlreadyThere

It’s probably easy for me to make light of it because I am not a male and have not experienced the frustrations that must be felt of always having to be the one to “put yourself out there”

So I empathize, and I’m happy you’re making peace with yourself and where you stand on these matters

Thank you for the empathy.

From a male perpective, getting “yourself out there” is a combination of self love, testosterone and healthy dopamine receptors.

Self Love = feeling worthy and deserving
Testosterone = the engine that pushes the sexual drive ahead
Healthy Dopamine Receptors = seeking rewards from the right sources

[Rehan]

@AlreadyThere

I can’t say I really know the answer, as I don’t remember a lot from dating, but I think something as simple and lighthearted as the emoji thing can just be good for bringing laughter and fun into a conversation - and then just don’t stress about it, let it unfold

I get what you are saying, the answer is overall complicated but I wouldn’t know how to revive a conversation with humor when the conversation itself is so stale. Like dipping your socks into dirty water and walking around with it.

At that point, a brother gotta dip and leave.

[JAAJ]

@AlreadyThere

I disagree though - jokes work. I feel the majority of women prefer men with a sense of humor.

It does not really matter what they consciously prefer.
What matters is what makes her wet.
Which is what the limbic brain decides in most cases.
While humor is rather something that may appeal to the prefrontal cortex, it is simply a “nice to have requirement”.
So we have to differ between “nice to have requirements” and “necessary requirements”.
Most “necessary requirements” are under the dominion of the animalistic limbic brain.
For sexual attraction to happen, the necessary requirements need to be triggered necessarily.
One cannot make someone attracted to you with humor, but on the other hand if there is already attraction there, a lack of humor will not destroy it.
A relationship without sex, is a friendship.

[AlreadyThere]

I think we are ultimately talking about the same thing but I’m going with a more direct approach.

A sense of humor is a side effect of confidence and charisma

So someone with a sense of humor is desirable because one is subconsciously picking up on all the traits that have kept humans reproducing for millennia

[Muse]

@JAAJ

Adult women clearly communicate what they want, because they have the self-responsibility of an adult, i.e. they understand that if they do not clearly communicate what they want, they will simply not get it.

This is the truth. Also we/they feel that wasting our time and wasting your time is not beneficial to either and it is not acting with integrity.

@JAAJ

While humor is rather something that may appeal to the prefrontal cortex, it is simply a “nice to have requirement”.
So we have to differ between “nice to have requirements” and “necessary requirements”.
Most “necessary requirements” are under the dominion of the animalistic limbic brain.

Also true. Personal experience, I was getting to know a man that made me laugh more than anyone, but repeatedly I felt unsafe, he did not feel/act robust, steadfast, grounded, secure, stable, solid.
In comparison, another man, made me laugh less, but all interactions with him i expreiecd safety, robustness, steadfastness, grounded, secure, stable, solid, protection, care about my wellbeing (very serious sometimes).

You can guess which one is more attractive on a deeper, primal level.

[anon73693188]

@Powren

Telepathic communication

Its a double face sword

Sometimes one of the 2 does not express or communicate clear relying on the fact that you should know , you can read my mind etc.

Naaauuuh. Talk. Ok? Talk.

[AlreadyThere]

@anon73693188

Sometimes one of the 2 does not express or communicate clear relying on the fact that you should know , you can read my mind etc.

Water signs, you may all raise your hands now
😮‍💨

I’m kidding, I’m kidding,
I know it’s not “enlightened” to make astrological assumptions, but c’mon they are usually true
And the good news is, you work through them and with them.
Part of the human experience, it ain’t all bad

And the interesting part too is these things are all on a spectrum. There are varying degrees of people who are the type to be like gives them the stare instead of speaking
And in and of itself I dont think it’s toxic per se, I think it depends on the disposition of the two individuals and how they interact. Some people need clear concise communication and other people just kind of flow. And this might only make sense if one has had that kind of relationship before, and that’s okay too.

[anon73693188]

Its all fun and games until you express what you believe they think or feel (according to your psychic or telepathic abilities) and then they say “its all in your head” “its not what i feel or think”

Ok… so what is it then?

Silence.

“Read my mind”

Haha

Ahhh…

[AlreadyThere]

Oh man, I don’t know
I can pick up the energy from your post and I don’t know if you experienced it before but it definitely feels like two people just not on the same wavelength.

I guess I didn’t adequately describe what I was trying to convey.
Words 😮‍💨

I mean the kind of knowing you have between two people and you really just don’t need words to flow about your lives together.
Perhaps it’s a rarity.

I remember my most toxic relationship always had to have a lot of words. Always having to try and see eye to eye. And honestly, that just wore on me. I could never just rest.

[JAAJ]

@AlreadyThere

Water signs, you may all raise your hands now

5 planets in water signs, incl. Sun and Moon lol…
Also certified rescue swimmer.
Also, I like to drink water every day.

[anon73693188]

I know i know what you mean

But i mesnt its great and fantastic until you really need to speak things not be guessing and relying on extra abilities, we are mature here and when there is a time to talk talk we must.

But i agree all the beauty part lol

@AlreadyThere

I remember my most toxic relationship always had to have a lot of words. Always having to try and see eye to eye. And honestly, that just wore on me. I could never just rest.

No hun.

Healthy relationships talk.

Toxic is to run away from it

And for the record i also have a lot of water in my chart, but still. Verbal communication is important.

Perhaps is the way they used to talk to you like in an imposing way, thats different, or demanding to talk when you dont want.

Lets not confuse both

[AlreadyThere]

I’m not confusing anything. I know my truth - it may not resonate for everyone and that’s okay. Sometimes words don’t convey a concept I’m trying to get across and that’s okay, I can live with that.

My spouse and I communicate without words all the time. This is simply my truth.

[anon73693188]

Im sorry, i think we were just talking about 2 different scenarios.

I was talking more about when discrepancies or issues arise.

That is important to talk.

And you were talking more or regular basis, day to day things, od course is awesome flowing without too much chit chat. Correct?

I like both. There are times i want to talk away with the SO or in general with close friends or family etc

Other times i just want silence and each one doing its thing, and that should be respected as well.

And i wasnt telling you that you are confused it was more a rethoric comment, because i understand what you were trying to say as well as my point. I was making sure both instances are perfectly fine with me not contradicting you.