Forgive the giant post, and if this is not appropriate for this forum, I’m happy to delete this. (I may end up doing so anyway, as it’s a bit personal). I debated whether or not post at all…but I need help. I’m in a very dark place, feeling defeated, helpless, and hopeless.
What I want more than anything in the world…and have for the last 15 months…is a “save my marriage” field. I love my wife…she means the world to me. We’ve been together for seven years, and the “seven year itch”, it seems, is a very real thing. A year ago she fell quite hard for someone else. To her credit, she’s been honest about it all along. Rather than cheating (physically, at least), she asked me (and has continued to push) to “change our agreement” and open up our marriage. I’m scared that I’ll lose her if I agree…and I’m scared that she’ll grow to resent me (and I’ll lose her anyway) if I don’t agree. I know a lot of people do this, and it seems to be more and more common these days. I strongly support everyone’s right to choose the relationship model that works for them; I don’t have any issues about it from a moral/ethical/philosophical place. But…it’s not what I want personally, and it never has been. We we were on the same page about commitment. That’s why I married her, and that’s why we started a family. Everything was great. Until she met him. And yes, people grow and change, but navigating an open relationship can be insanely challenging in the best of circumstances. I fear that for us, it would be a flaming train wreck, and that just I, but our daughter, would suffer.
I love her. I will do anything and everything I can to make this work. I have been (and am continuing to) do my utmost to be understanding, empathetic, kind, and loving. I want our bond and our love to be strong. She means the world to me. I want her to be happy and fulfilled, but knowing her as I do, this…it doesn’t feel like the way. I’m at a loss; I don’t know what to do.
I know this is a crazy, complicated situation and an unusual request. Is there any way at all field can help? Something to help us find a way forward? Something to restore or strengthen her commitment to me? Something to ease my (very intense and not at all irrational) fear and jealousy? Something to strengthen our ability to communicate, to empathize, to navigate this successfully and move forward together?
At the moment, I’m using “attract more love into your life” on the regular, as well as “Angelic Intercession”. I’m wearing “matchmaker”, “best path”, and “intercession 2.0” fields. I’m also using “inner beauty”, “clear negative energy”, “depression/stress/anxiety”, “forgiveness and release”, “oxytocin”, “trauma release”, “unconditional love”, “uplift yourself, people, and the world”, and ever since you released it, “Grief Loss Lonliness” pretty much on a continuous loop.
If there’s anything you can do with a field, please help me. I’m grateful for all you’ve done already, and all you continue to do.