I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time right now.
I believe it was George Bernard Shaw who waited for decades before anything of his was published and once it was, people would, as he put it “print anything with my name on it.”
I’m a big fan of late bloomers. I think they have more interesting stories than people who just achieve predictable, steady success their whole life.
You won’t be in this position forever, especially if you don’t give up on what you really want. And if you’re doing this to impress other people and not because it’s what you’re really wanting to do, that could be a reason it’s slow coming.
Just don’t give up, you know? You’re not a failure until you’re dead and then you probably still have some great opportunities even after that.
Start to define what success means to you - just you. Not the people who may label you a failure. Are they so amazing, by the way?