Hello, dear forum members…
I need your help and advice.
My problems began with psychosis. From a medical perspective, it was attributed to weed, but I believe it was due to a lack of grounding and severe spiritual practices that led to an energetic imbalance. This suffering lasted for about 1.5 years, and I eventually became desperate for a solution. I decided to worship Hanuman, taking a vow to do so for 42 days. During this period, I read the Sunderkand, Hanuman Chalisa, Ram Raksha Stotra, and recited Ram Naam Jaap daily. I had 8 wishes and made 2 promises:
Only one wish seems to be half-fulfilled i.e disease cured but with insomnia persisted…
I also used heart throbbing during that particular time to increase devotion…
- To follow strict celibacy and fasting on Tuesdays for life at least and to regularly visit the temple and recite the mentioned prayers at most.
- At the end of my life, to worship Lord Ram and call him to earth, hoping this would ensure my enlightenment.
However, I made some mistakes during this period:
I encountered many problems during the Pooja, more than I’ve ever faced in such a short time. I maintained strict celibacy for 30 days while my girlfriend was away. I had told her not to meet me for at least 15 more days, but she insisted, and we ended up having sex without ejaculation. During those 42 days, there was no ejaculation, so I technically broke the vow of strict celibacy.
Despite this, I felt healed—I got my energy, brain, and sense of self back. However, my insomnia persisted. I’ve noticed that if I don’t ejaculate, masturbate, or have sex, my sleep improves. About a month ago, I bought sandman Sleep ability and since then, I’ve only had two sleepless nights—both following sex/masturbated on Saturday and Tuesday, the days when my libido is strongest and only two days I touched myself.
Last night, something strange happened. After practicing multiorgasmic masturbation, I listened grounding and the microcosmic orbit audio before going to sleep. But I kept waking up every 15-20 seconds, as if something was shocking me awake. I felt mosquito bites and pinching—paranormal things that don’t usually happen on other nights.in short they are preventing me from sleep.and the servitor exerting a full effect on me.
When I recited Ramchandra’s name, something seemed to leave me, and I drifted into sleep quickly. But then, after 10-15, I heard a knock on my window, which is impossible the time was approx 4am. This woke me up, and I regularly listen to Hanuman Homam and Hanuman Chalisa from Spirituality Zone.
Another incident occurred after completing my Pooja sankalp: I drank alcohol twice. Each time, I quarreled with friends—something that had never happened before. The second time, I hurt myself and bled; it was the first time I physically self-hurted.
It seems like there are signs telling me to avoid alcohol and women, but I’m only 23 years old and want to enjoy my life.And I am not ready yet.I drink alcohol once every 1-2 months for fun, and it feels like my free will is being violated. I’ve always valued my freedom and will choose it at any cost even if I have to end this life…
I have clearly stated Hanuman ji about my intentions about women and alcohol…
Seems like things are forced upon me…and I hate things that are forced upon me and it turns me on vengeance mode.my father used to do this.he was never succeed…
Literally I want to retreat…
Is there a harmful entity attached to me??
Please, dear forum members help me find a solution.
