As for the topic at hand, I’ll share my personal beliefs on it but understand, they are but my own. They aren’t facts either.
I don’t have such a strict view on sexuality. I think it can be quite restrictive to think of sex in a way that perceives it to be as high risk to your own spiritual development. Perception shapes pure concepts and to think of it in a negative manner will make it negative to you.
I do believe that the primitive parts of our brain/bodies, induce unhealthy surges of lust once we hit puberty. These are natural mechanisms that automatically activate to ensure that we continue to reproduce and keep our species existing. Part of spiritual growth is to transcend these mechanisms that trivialize sex into something animalistic and that keep us rooted in the more primitive realms of this reality.
Christianity and Islam believed this (in their own way) and enforced sexual repression for thousands of years… which only caused sexual perversions in people to increase even more. Repression of one’s sexuality doesn’t quite work and causes imbalances within us. Sexuality a part of us in the same way that desire to eat, desire to socialize or simply the desire to survive are natural.
The ascetic goes on one side of the extreme and represses all these desires and especially, their sexuality, to ascend. This is certainly a pathway to ascension. But understand this… There are many pathways to enlightenment. And one of those pathways goes the complete opposite of asceticism and extremely indulges in desire. The left hand path adept transcends the ego as well (although, many left pathists are far more prone to falling to the ego instead). Both paths can lead to the same place as hard as it is to believe.
So why can’t there be a middle ground?
I believe sex to be a beautiful thing. It is the merging/connecting of two people on a physical level… which one way or another, connects you two spiritually as well. If the two of you are more spiritually evolved and project love onto one another (tantra for example or just pure loving sex), this merging can lead to some strong spiritual experiences and even accelerate your spiritual growth.
Now I understand that sexual pleasure feels so damned good, that the desire can take on a life of its own and begin to drag you down. Sexual pleasure has its dark side as well with rape, sexual addiction and things of that nature. But as you know, there is a duality to everything. In essence, sex just is. It isn’t bad or good. It is what you make it to be.
Can masturbation be made into a good thing? Is it even a bad thing? Well, not really. It’s your body and you are pleasing yourself through it. What can be considered wrong is masturbating in excess and releasing useful energies that make up your vitality. Many other factors as well… But this is universally known. Anything in excess can be bad for you.
And that is where balance comes in. I don’t believe masturbating every now and then to be toxic to the spirit. It’s a fun activity and can bring pleasure to one’s mind and soul. It’s a feel good activity that releases dopamine in the same way that video games or even sports does (although at a cost of energy that doesn’t quite replenish and lessens overtime). So, don’t do it too often! Because excessive masturbation also tends to pile up psychological effects that can deter your well being.
Sex with your partner is also fun. It is a fun activity with your partner in the same way having a stimulating conversation with them, joking with them, playing games with them or going on an adventure is fun. Sex is another fun way of interacting with someone and doesn’t have to be perceived as this super serious thing as well (unless you’re having unprotected sex lol).
It’s also a physical way of communicating I love you to someone and indulging with one another in that flow of love. Now, sex 5 times a day is obviously not the best thing because you are draining the heck out of each other. Seducing and having sex with a new girl every other day isn’t healthy because you may likely not reciprocate the kind of emotions the women has for you… and simply chasing pleasure like an addict is unhealthy. Balance is key.
There are so many ways to perceive life. It is a school. It is a prison. Or it is something to be loved, hated, revered or be bored of. It is anything you believe it is but at the same time, we can all agree it is an experience. And kids, without the full on programming adults have, have a universal way of thinking how it should be experienced. As something fun.
To love, to laugh, to dream… to live. We exist here to experience life and grow from it. Sex is one of the experiences that come with life and to restrict oneself from it for spiritual growth feels more like a limiting belief to me. If you are very spiritually conscious which allows you to grow from anything, then you can also certainly even continue to grow through sexual experiences.
My 2 cents anyways. Remember, these are simply my thoughts on the subject. Nothing is objective 
