Hello community, a big warm hug to you all!
I created other topics in the past asking for help on which fields to use for my issue.
I suffer from chronic anxiety, panic attacks and depressive episodes since I’m 13. Sadly i tried many fields of Sapien during these last 2 years but none of them managed to cure the root of the problem…
So I got come courage and took the big leap of faith: I’ll start therapy next week to bring out traumas or blockages that might have occured in my childhood or anything that caused this to finally get my life in control once for all.
But if on one hand I’m proud of myself, on the other hand I’m really… Scared.
Reminiscing about the past and doing all this shadow work could bring up things that traumatized me and I chose to forget or that I never accepted. It’s gonna be painful and I’m kinda scared to start this journey and heal. It’s like I’ve felt so bad during all these years that I’ve found comfort in it…
So, I would really need a playlist to listen to everyday to keep me stable and grow more and more confident in myself and in this path.
For now I’m doing:
Subconscious blockages removal x2
The Alchemical Revision of Childhood x2
Nerve inflammation help
Forgiveness and release x2
Trauma removal and healing x2
The Archetype of parental love
Self love and acceptance x2
The anxiety relief (overnight)
I was thinking about other fields like ‘the dephts of your soul’ or ‘the inner pillar of power’ but idk, what do you think everyone?
Well, @WellBeing is replying and he has more experience with fields; anyway, I’ll suggest Exorcism, Clear all Negative Energy and Entity Removal - Just in case these might help, idk (I hope I’m not projecting my own problems here).
Anyway, I wish you all the success and all the health in the world (I’m not a stranger to depression either - at least for depression, I recommend Vitamins and Minerals from A-Z and try to not focus your energy on your suffering/problems/worries/fears/…, but “change the channel”, relax, do things that make you happy, do yoga, sports, …, anything to keep your mind from going into depression; I assume therapy is the best option, to help you get over underlying causes, though)!
Yes! You “should” (I hate that word, “should”) be! I say that in an excited and celebratory way for you. Really, really good for you! I think it’s wonderful that you are so strong that you’ve decided to be no longer burdened by the conditions you just shared with us and whatever had been causing them for you. That’s such a powerful decision.
And I think it’s wonderful that you’ve realized that there can be (and there is!) more to your life than what you had been experiencing. That’s so creative and expansive of your outlook. I say “creative” because of your willingness to see your situation in a new way, a way that’s different from the ways you had been willing to see it. That’s a rare and uncommon gift.
And I am celebrating how you are showing up for yourself in this decision for yourself, how you love yourself enough to heal yourself so you can enjoy the more that your life has on offer to you.
And I’m celebrating your wisdom in realizing that, whilst you are the person with the power to heal yourself, it can be quite helpful, beneficial and even easier when you have an experienced and knowledgeable guide accompanying you on your path.
So, so much to celebrate and to be proud of yourself about, and I hope you spend more and more of your time focusing on this side of the equation.
I understand. And isn’t it kind of common to be scared when we try something new?
So, let me share an interesting thing with you: Did you know that the physiological reactions in your body (which might include things like rapid heart rate; an active, maybe unsettled sensation in your stomach; sweaty palms; physical agitation or restlessness; etc.) are the same physiological reactions we experience when we’re “scared” and when we’re “excited” (in a good way)? Did you know that? There’ve been many, many (good) studies showing this to be true for everyone.
Why is this important?, you might ask. Once the scientists discovered this, they soon learned that what people do is have their physiological sensations and then they look around their experience to find out and figure out what their sensations mean. IOW, we don’t have the emotion which then produces the physiological sensations. We have our physiological sensations and then we add a meaning to those sensations. “I’m feeling this and this and this, so that must mean my emotion is X.” BUT…what if we’re mistaken? What if what we had decided is “fear” is actually “excitement”? Let that sink in for a little bit.
Now, those scientists took these thoughts one step farther. They learned that if they changed our reasons for deciding our label for our emotions, our emotions actually changed, too.
So, as you’re feeling your “scared” (and, again, that’s understandable; there would be quite appropriate for you to do that), just ask yourself (in an open-ended way, without using your brain to answer it) “What if this is actually ‘excitement’ that I’m feeling?” and notice how your experience changes.
There’s a bunch I want to say about this little piece right here.
Although it’s sort of out of academic order of discussion, THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT of my reply is, whatever “it” was, YOU HAVE ALREADY SURVIVED IT. It did its worst and you are here to tell the tale of that. Not only have you survived, but you are strong, powerful, self-caring, self-loving, showing up for yourself, creatively looking beyond your past, making wise decisions in your favor…all the things we just discussed. So, you have already been victorious over whatever your “it” was. Let that sink in. Really, really let that sink in for you.
So, here’s the thing. Therapy is very different from “reminiscing,” so you won’t be doing that thing that you’re scared of. Depending on what kind of therapy you’ll be engaging with, might you become more conscious of certain things? Probably, but one of the things that could be (because I’m not your therapist) causing you your problems is that there could be a part of you that is already extremely conscious of those things but not conscious of the good things (like how you’ve survived or your strength, wisdom, love that you have for yourself). IOW, this thing that you’re scaring yourself with (and it’s all right, if you might be doing that) has already been going on. Now, you’re going to get help in getting more beneficial perspectives for both you and for whatever part of you is involved.
And you can accomplish that greater and more helpful consciousness without necessarily “reliving” the details of any experience. So, it can be very different from “reminiscing,” you see?
At that point in time, in that distant past, when you made your choice, you were a very different person–with skills, knowledge and abilities–than you are now. I mean, look at what was your definition of a happy event for you when you were 2 or 5 or 10 vs. what your current definition of a happy event for you is now. When I was 2, my idea of “the most fun” gift was a big box with bright wrapping paper I could tear off. Now, I have an understanding that small boxes can hold extremely satisfying gifts for me.
So, yes, you made your choice and the choice that you made was the smartest, wisest choice you could’ve made at that time, knowing what you then knew with the skills that you had then. But, now, you are a different person, with many skills and powers (that we discussed just a moment ago) that you’ve acquired since then. And from your now perspective, you might now choose to move your understanding of “it” into a more helpful, resourceful place where you can now choose to truly forget it again because you will have finally left it in the past, where it belongs. (Rather than carrying it around with you, as you’ve become used to doing.)
It doesn’t have to be.
And if you do have a few painful moments, that’s a lot better than the pain you had been having that you described for us, isn’t it?
Your playlist looks good. If I was going to add anything, I’d add [New Release] Amygdala Healing (+ Fear Release) (because of what you’re feeling now) and Become whole: self acceptance/self love/ dissolve insecurities. If you’re concerned that your stack will become too long (from all of our suggestions), you might want to consider dropping The Archetype of Parental Love because The Alchemical Revision of Childhood might do what you need on that score.
I’m cheering you on, and you’re off to a really good start!
Hi! Thanks for your reply! I’m trying to do all these things (I’m looking for a good multivitamin to take everyday and also a sport/hobby like yoga or hiking to stay grounded and keep my mind off of things). I wish you all the health of the world, we can do this
Hi WellBeing, sorry for replying just now, your post was really deep and insightful and I’m saving a few parts of it to motivate myself whenever I’m in a crisis or just demotivated. I also would like to mention the part when you say that the ‘emotions’ we associate with a physiological reaction actually comes after it, so it might be a sign of fear or excitement, that’s really interesting!
I already tried starting a journey with psychologists but their technique was to ‘let me talk about my emotions and my past/blockages’ which was not fun at all. I’m starting a journey with a psychotherapist, who should be more prepared for my issues (strong physiological reactions to what scares me, which becomes invalidating). Thank you so much for all the words and ideas you wrote in your post, they really made me tear up a bit, I hope you’re right in all that you said.
I have another question for you, since you’ve suggested me those 2 fields: what do you think of BoL? I mean, for my condition ofc. I’m still not sure if my anxiety is caused by traumas or it’s simply my way to react to things (so mostly a genetic trait), I’ll let you know what the therapist says about my whole situation. But do you think that I could swap all my playlist with that one field? It seems like it does miracles but I’m not sure if it can help with this type of issues. I’d buy it in a blink if that would cure me tbh
A big hug to you!!!
Thanks for the suggestion, Inspector! Have you used this yourself? The only audios I listen to are Sapien’s because I really trust him, is Quadible Integrity safe???
Hi @WellBeing and sorry for replying to you again! I just wanted to tell you that I had my first sessiom with the therapist and I was diagnosed (pretty fast, i must say) with panic disorder and anxiety disorder
Do you think that Blueprint of Life or any other specific field might help? Thanks!
I very much like BoL. I don’t often recommend it because I recognize that it’s an investment.
If it was me, I wouldn’t do such a swap, no. Blueprint of Life provides–well–the blueprint (that was profound! Someone should write that doing ). The other fields in your playlist do the construction necessary to realize the structure that is your blueprint, you see?
Yay! Good for you!
No need to frown (although it’s all right if that’s what you really want to do). In my country, we have a saying: “Diagnosis is half the cure.” So, in one session, in your first session, you’ve accomplished at least half your journey. Talk about progress, no? (And doesn’t this diagnosis soothe your fears that this was “genetic”? So, there’s that benefit there, too.)
It sounds to me as if you’re quite drawn to BoL.
When I were having that draw, I check in with myself to see where that draw is coming from. Is it coming from my guidance or from some place else? If it’s coming from my guidance, that’s something I try my best to honor.
Where do you think your draw is coming from with you?
@WellBeing it’s probably because it would’ve been a shortcut to just listen to an audio and not a playlist, but I have some good news!
I discovered a GREAT audio on patreon that I thought wouldn’t help me but… I haven’t had a panic attack in 3 days
It’s the PTSD one, which helps me because it has the stellar ganglion block (calms me down), amydgala healing (heals it from all the damage), regulates the hormones in the brain (mine must be filled with cortisol and adrenaline at this point) but ALSO cuts any overgrowth that led me to be so sensitive to certain things (prevents me from having other attacks or being sensitive to the same things).
I still have anxiousness throughout the day and fears that stop me from doing things… But not bursting out into a fight or flight mode for THREE DAYS!!! It’s amazing for me
I listen 3x in the morning, and during the day i listen to fields to help me build self love, acceptance and confidence. My social anxiety is caused by that so… I might heal the symptoms with the PTSD one (not sure but I’m on a good path), but i have to heal my insecurities too
I also found the Pregabalin and Gabapentin fields on Patreon but I don’t know if they might help with my condition, what do you think?
I’m sending you light and love, I hope you can feel my positivity in this post
I’m following your advice and meditating on the fields, let’s see how it goes!
). The other fields in your playlist do the construction necessary to realize the structure that is your blueprint, you see?
