I am so sorry for your loss Gita 
You were a true pillar for him
Sending hugs and prayers your way.
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I’m sorry for your loss.
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I’m having a hard time after his death.
Depression and low energy.
Listenting to SLB and new perspectives, doing affirmations and meditations, and just getting things done, but its like a battle.
Do you have some advice? Want to get my life back.
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You might try and check out the Mental health album
and this one might help as well
Wish you the best!
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Are you currently starting your morning with the audio named Energy Body/Aura Deep Clearing Cleaning available on Youtube and Patreon? Just be aware that it is said to clear the effects of audios listened up to 3 hours beforehand so best to listen in the morning.
So maybe start your morning with this to also help your other audios take better effect afterwards, especially the grief and loss recovery ones. I think in the short term it should probably start your morning until things get better and even then as maybe once weekly afterwards. It will help with the negative energy and thought forms/emotional fragments that grief can bring up.
From description
What this does is clear your entire energy system of built up junk and ‘psychic’ debris. With normal day to day living you build up a lot of negative non beneficial energies within your system that can affect you in the short and long term. Every negative emotional interaction usually creates a disturbance in your system.
This will clear out everything and wash over you helping you to return to being fresh and clean. I dont not suggest you use this after other energy work or (subliminals) since it will likely clear out those energies as well (not that it is negative, but it is something different than your natural system)
Maybe at some point also consider the following as you will likely benefit from it:
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My personal emotional and mental supporter could help you a lot.
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hey Gita, are you able to get Alchemical Holy Light? If you can, I think it’s one of the fields that will give you what you want.
You can also listen to the hermit to regain your energy levels, and Astral Viber to aid you in taking action and feeling stronger :)
Wishing you the best @Gita
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Oh no no no…
It really needs someone who is resellient, I mean after a long time it would help greatly, if connecting with him is what you feel can give you this push then yes sure, I think there is also this part where the soul and spirit connect, it feels wholesome, but depends on where you at really…
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Hey Gita…
I just wanted to give my suggestion to you and wish you the very best… the clouds will disappear soon, the sun will shine once again and you’ll come out of this a stronger person than you already are… i truly commend you for you fortitude and inner strength… You have a kind heart and a strong spirit…
I think the crucible of the past along with my personal emotional support are the two best paid for fields to help you feel better… Soul restoration series can also help you regain your energy…
Please look into those fields Gita, if you can’t purchase any field at the moment then please listen to wamus suggestions along with emotional release a whole lot and the internal Alchemical crucible 3x every day… Deep brain magnetic stimulation would go great with your new perspective listens as well…
Hope you feel better soon…
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These helped me when i was feeling depressed and had no energy
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Be gentle on yourself and don’t be in a rush. You’ve suffered quite a blow. Take your time.
Everyone grieves in their own time, especially a loss such as yours. So don’t push it. And, don’t forget, being a caretaker takes it’s toll as well. So you need time to physically and psychically recover from that, too. Remember, too, that it isn’t something to “get over” but rather something to “get through”. With that in mind, go gentle on yourself and don’t listen to those, including yourself, who’d feel more comfortable if ‘you’d just get over it’.
It’s important to feel what you feel. Oftentimes when we grieve, the fear (often our own and those of others) is that we’re broken somehow beyond repair and that once we open the floodgates we’ll never get them to close again. Fair enough. An effective way around this would be to set a timer and starting with some arbitrary amount of time, say " Today I will grieve for 1/2 hour". Then set a timer and really get into it. Wail and cry and punch a pillow if you need to. But once the timer rings, pull up, button up, splash some water on your face and go about with your day. The next day, a little less time is on the timer. At some point, you will find yourself on the other side of it, still tender but at least functional. Strange as it sounds, it really does help.
If feels unsatisfying to say, but you just need time. It seems to me that Mads was a wonderful person. To my way of thinking we grieve wonderful people longer because they’re worth every tear. So don’t rush. It’s an important process for you so take your time with it.
In between those moments, listen to the previously suggested fields. This will go a long way to help heal you as well.
In the end, I wish you all the best.
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If you have these two fields, perhaps try Emotional Release + The Shamanic Medicine Blend?
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Hi there
In such…
…a state everything will feel like an internal battle. That’s why it’s important to get back into a coherent mindset that you can use to propel you out of it. Willpower alone won’t suffice; it needs to be the innate power within to move forward.
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listen to emotional release first, loop it around 12 times, or about 1 hour and reassess (if it was me, I’d loop it until i feel any sense of mental clarity that stems from the release of these emotions, could be 24h or more)
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from there listen to shamanic medicine blend. As the name suggests it’s a blend of various fields and many of them help with trauma and, importantly, love. I’d also loop this as long as needed before going to the next
2a) listen to forgiveness if you feel you haven’t forgiven yourself for anything at all. Otherwise skip
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listen to vibration of divine love. As mentioned above, love is the ultimate antidote and you’ll need loads. Conveniently this raises your vibrations which will ward off further negative influences. Again, loop as much as needed
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from here it’s your turn. At this point you should feel back in control to tackle more
So there are a still a bunch of fields to possibly add to these, for instance any kind of shielding, or perhaps an intercession, you might need aura repair later on, blueprint of life always helps, etc etc etc
But mostly I’m confident if you use the three fields above you’ll be good to go.
Btw extra advice, if you have memories of him coming up, live them, be with them. Don’t attempt to postpone them, withdraw from them or suppress them, that will just get you deeper into the hole.
Anyways good luck, and remember you have a great community here for backup support
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Hi, depression expert in remission here 
First of, this is perfectly normal and you rock for opening up Gina.
I’d recommend you to have a quick look at the Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler Ross.
When I was deep in the process myself, it brought relief and helped me tremendously to build clarity & compassion for myself.
Then, I would go easy on the fields and pick only the ones that truly make you feel good.
Looping is definitely not an option, you’ll just overwhelm your system more…
Make sure to pick only the ones that feel the best to you and have a long term effect:
- the Outlook Retrainer → you can play it many times a day, whereas you should limit New Perspectives to 2 times max. You can also add PTSD (patreon) on the mix a few times a week.
- the Wisdom of the Dying, → give it a few listen and see if this brings you a little bit of relief, this has nothing to do with the comfort of those who have passed (agree with Desiree about skipping the latter one)
- a world of Beauty & Joy and the Crucible of the Past → only if you have them already.
- Whatever clearing field work for you: internal crucible, etc.
- Whatever other fields is calling you
Practicing mindfulness and welcoming all of your parts: being angry, depressed, in despair, etc. is perfectly normal.
What would you do if a close friend of you was in the situation? How would you treat him/her? Can you apply the same to your parts in deep suffering?
And finally, and the most important → taking action in the physicals:
- Moving your body every day : what works the best for you, even if you whole system resist it at first.
- Meeting people that care about you, and with whom you can be yourself.
- Seeking help from professionals.
- Focusing on activities that are good to you and get you out of your mind: dancing (!), painting, creating stuff, working on a project, assisting others, etc.
- Time in nature and with animals
If you feel like it, feel free to PM me
We all saw how strong you were over those last months, I am confident you will soon find your way through it.
Much love to you 
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Our death is our wedding with eternity
-Rumi
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Grieving Is An Only Expression Of Your Love If There Is No Love There Is No Grief
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From “Walking Each Other Home“
“Grief is the internal part of loss, our emotional response when someone we are deeply connected to leaves or dies or when a dream in life or anything we’ve invested in is lost.
We may feel lost, alone, sad, empty, abandoned, out of touch with our hearts, without a way to comfort ourselves. Grief can manifest physically as aches and pains or cognitively as an inability to concentrate. It can close our hearts to others, challenging our relationships. Grief affects everyone, the dying person, the caregiver, family, friends, and lovers. It can arise before death, a response in anticipation of the loss to come or to all the losses in the course of an illness–loss of health, social roles, the ability to speak or move around. Grief is not an event but a process. It is as individual as each of us and as unique as the person we’ve lost.
If you don’t grieve fully, in a way that is true to your own heart, you may end up with cynicism about life and fear of future involvement, fear of any risk. Be kind to yourself. When it is time to let go, you’ll know. Then let go. The memories will still be there without the attachment. It’s not about returning to ‘normal,’ but becoming someone new, free to be present for whatever your life is now.”
Over the years, in working with people who are grieving, I’ve encouraged them first of all to surrender to the experience of their pain. To counteract our natural tendency to turn away from pain, we open to it as fully as possible and allow our hearts to break. We must take enough time to remember our losses – be they friends or loved ones passed away, the death of long-held hopes or dreams, the loss of homes, careers, or countries, or health we may never get back again. Rather than close ourselves to grief, it helps to realize that we only grieve for what we love.
In allowing ourselves to grieve, we learn that the process is not cut and dried. It’s more like a spiral that brings us to a place of release, abates for a time, then continues on a deeper level. Often, when grieving, we think that it’s over, only to find ourselves swept away by another wave of intense feeling. For this reason, it’s important to be patient with the process, and not be in a hurry to put our grief behind us.
While the crisis stage of grief does pass in its own time – and each person’s grief has its own timetable – deep feelings don’t disappear completely. But ultimately you come to the truth of the adage that “love is stronger than death.”
– Ram Dass
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Wauw thank you guys, you are amazing <3 Thank you for all the concern and advice, fields and quotes.
Mads really appriciated that you wanted to help him, when i said how much you tried to help.
The soul restoration album has helped me a lot, with grand jealousy shield (maybe because of his family i guess)
Yes, i have tried a lot of fields, and other than SLB and new perspectives, angelic intercession is actually one of my favorites. “Healer primer” from the course, is always very good. I closed my heart after all this…
Also using the chakra audios and negative removal now and then.
I have overused torsion field and cosmo volt, so now i need to ground myself ALL the time ^^’ be careful with those fields.
I need to finish my master, and have a exam in 3 weeks (i cant postpone anymore), so i just need to get my concentration back. I know that grief takes times.
But yeah, i will try more with your suggestings <3
LOVE AND PEACE, YOU ARE SOME AMAZING SOULS 
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