What qualities do you prefer in a friend? What boundaries do you keep? How do you know when it’s time to distance yourself from a friendship—not necessarily ending it entirely, but simply growing apart?
I’ve noticed a phenomenon: when you’re at their level or below, they treat you well. However, when you start to succeed or improve, they tend to avoid you or seem displeased. I’ve personally experienced intense jealousy from former friends.
It seems like timing plays a significant role. A friend might be important for a particular period, but then it’s natural to let go.
Spiritual people often become more solitary over time. Whether this is a blessing or a curse is debatable. While advancing in spirituality is undoubtedly a profound blessing, it can also lead to having fewer people to talk to.
Let go and move on……making room for new friends that better align with you. It’s never failed me. I keep meeting the most awesome people for each season. Everyone has served a mutual purpose for that season, and then new ones come that bring in more mutual growth.
Play Soul Tribe from Patreon and you will meet them much faster
older and wiser than me (I met them at age 20, now I’m more than a decade wiser)
perpetually focused on innate health, and
made it a priority to grow together
We were tight knit for years. One of them became like an adoptive mother to me in my younger age, and then adjusted to friend (sister, rather) as I matured.
Even then, there were “moments.” Falling outs, issues based on clashing of personality types, despite each of our feelings that we would all be lifelong partners in life. Similar to your experience, one of the gal friends cried out of jealousy when she witnessed the community coming to me for my services. It was the beginning of the (temporary) end.
Well, we all separated at one point and went our separate ways. Each one has a story about at least 1/4 of the group, lol.
3 years later, one of them called me. Now two are back in my life. I’m considering reaching out to the third and fourth.
My point is, even the closest relationships that are monumental to your core development sometimes require space in order to grow. I do not like cliches, but it is true that if there is a greater purpose for your mutual bond, it will withstand the separation, and eventually you may find each other again. Older, and wiser. And, maybe less annoying to each other
Hm…if you’re really close to these friends, you should have all upgraded together. That’s the issue. In their mind, they just aren’t behind you by God’s grace, but you left them behind.
I think you do need to move on at that point. Consciously or unconsciously, if they aren’t reaching your level any time soon, they will put all their energy into bringing you back. You’d need some diplomatic skills to help them reach your level if you choose that path.
I think everyone nowadays have forgotten loyalty and kindness or even basic decency at times…
All of them? That would be hard to tell. People have all sorts of flaws. I’m quite strict with things even “shallow” ones.
Narcissism, psychopathy, manipulative tendencies, etc.
My personal worst is respect of energy. I don’t want anyone draining me. Obviously you dedicate time to your loved ones. But that attention, energy and time given shoud be acknowledged and not taken for granted.
I don’t quite like this. I prefer to put an end to things verbally. May just be me. It only helps with neuroticism, the feelings and even missing them still happens, but for my mind, I cut it and it’s over.
I would say, a real friend or group of friends will respect you and your opinion, not look down upon you, they’ll be rooting for you (to succeed), they’ll help you when you need it whether you ask for it or not, they’ll be truthful unapologetically, no bs, no game playing, no excuses. Someone you can trust deeply and they you. Someone even if you haven’t met in years, once you see them you must give them a hug and the mutual vibe is all the same.
A good friend is priceless.
Somebody jealous of you I wouldn’t consider a friend. What kind of basis for a friendship would that be? Will it stay at jealousy only? What if the jealousy leads to anger and resentment? What if revenge is next?
Think bigger picture. That’s why I approach a win-win method in life. You put yourself in the other person’s shoe and try to see the world from their perspective. Of course that’s not 100% possible but that’s not the point. The point is to create situations that mutually benefit one another. Apply this to groups of people and the world becomes more and more beautiful, friendly, kind, …
Friends - they don’t have to agree on everything. That’d be beside the point. Billions of people have billions of opinions. A real friend can listen with empathy and even if they disagree with you, they can try to see the world from your perspective, to understand how you see it.
This way expands horizons by fostering stronger connections. And this is true whether for close family, friends, communities, nations, (intergalactic species?).
Sorry I am not at all responsible.very few wants to upgrade.it is very tough to break the cycle.i have told them about audios.they ponder for sometime and then forgets about it.and gets engaged into their vicious cycle…
They were already this way, but now that you have leveled up, you can actually finally see them for who they are.
Many people unconsciously hold on to fake friends because the assumed pain of being lonely is greater than the mis-use from the fake friends.
It is a form of self-sabotage and escapism from loneliness, which has a low level of self-love at its core.
When you heal yourself and start loving yourself more, it is then no longer necessary to lie to yourself and continue to live in cognitive dissonance and tell yourself “a story” about these “friends” and then one can finally allow oneself to see those fake friends for who they really are.
Most people on this forum are here because they want to upgrade themselves and to actually grow.
While most people outside in the NPC world do not want to grow and upgrade themselves.
Two completely different groups of souls with completely different core values.
The main reason why I cannot be friends with most humans on this planet is because most of them do not want to upgrade themselves at the same pace as I want.
Which means we have way too different values in life.
Which means, we can temporarily collaborate on certain tasks, but cannot really become close friends.
When the core values are too different, there is no ground for really intimate friendships to grow on.
I consider it a bit more complex.
There are also innumerable people who want to upgrade, who want to break free from their suffering, but they don’t have or don’t know any access point to do so. It can feel really tricky and tough when you find yourself in a situation where it feels like everything is against you. Like trying to climb out from an abyss, it is mentally and physically so exhausting to do so, thus it’s much easier not to do, yet the deep desire to improve and break free is very evident.
That’s why I think we can distinguish. There definitely are people who desire to upgrade but they simply do not know how.
And I agree, that’s why a place like this forum is so useful. It can act as a kind of catalyst platform to make the journey easier on all levels.
people that want a better car/house/nose/body all want to improve to break suffering through societies’ rules of the pre-existent game.
although the game is a false illusion to keep people under control.
and no one ever breaks anything by following the rules, it only perpetuates their condition.
lately i’ve been going to a hospital a lot and i can see how the game works on a micro-scale:
low class folks that assume their low class condition work on cleaning & maintenance.
low class folks that aspire to be middle class condition work as nurses.
middle class folks that assume their middle class condition work on management & administration.
middle class folks that aspire to be high class work as MDs/doctors/surgeons.
high class folks that rule the entire hospital/health care are not even in the hospital and do not aspire to any class because they’re already running things. and they were already born within that heritance and knowledge passed by their family/social context.
imo the ones at the top are the most free from the game because they already completed it.
although the game itself is an illusion perpetuated by everyone involved.
no one from low class ever gets to run the whole thing because they lack all the heritance, knowledge and energy imprints passed on unconsciously by families and social context.
This is an Ask for Advice thread, not a dispute thread. Remember the OP is asking directly for your assistance. This was starting to devolve into argument about opinions.
I’m not seeing the dispute, argument or devolution. There are different perspectives, opinions, and reasoning for them.
So in one case the emphasis is on the behavior, and the truth that lies within a person, compared to what people might say or think for example.
While the previous view emphasises the possible complexity of a person’s life/situation, and the difficulty of acting from a state of unknown.
They both relate to qualities and boundaries with a friend. E.g. valuing people who choose to act and make changes, valuing a person willing to consider another and degrees of involvement.
Personally I value JAAJ’s view here and think it contributes to the question on friendship.
Yesterday I came across an idea that most people and their friends traditionally, or early on in life, are formed based on social/proximity ties. Like being neighbors, going to the same school, family friends. Then as an adult maybe the same company, social setting, activity, interests, etc.
Before modern communication technology it would be centered around where you live and who lives nearby.
But I think as you align more and more with your truer self, you begin to be more specific and clear on what you’re doing in life and why. A lot of options in life paths begin to be removed or, they don’t align with your vibe, goals, values, intentions etc.
There are people who do align, with different aspects and at varying times. They weren’t necessarily conveniently placed in proximity. There would have to be some sort of effort/work to seek them out, or draw them in. So that would be a type of practice that could be helpful.
In essence though, I think it’s about identifying what you value in friendship and whether whoever you’re interacting with shares in those values.
I disagree and I think you are falling for the matrix’ trap of “false empathy” in my opinion.
Let me explain:
Look, if they would really have a “deep desire” to upgrade themselves, they would not behave in the way they behave.
They would be constantly looking for actual solutions for their problems, instead of just saying that they are looking for solutions.
If you “don’t know how”, then you simply start looking for solutions and try to learn “how”.
But that’s what most DON’T do!
They don’t know how AND they don’t look for solutions at the same time.
They have given up on looking for solutions BEFORE.
Which means they never really wanted it in the first place.
Those who really want to find solutions will necessarily stumble upon them sooner or later.
The universe or the Higher Self will always find a way to support a soul that wants to grow faster than it currently does! The universe is very supportive here.
I don’t really care about most of humanity because what they say that they want to do VERSUS what they actually do, is completely out of sync in most cases.
And I will not support this collective cognitive dissonance with my personal energy.
If everyone would really work together, like those souls who actually want to make things better, then humanity would already be living on Mars. But we aren’t. Because most people don’t really want to grow and go ahead. They just want to pass time and delay the process into eternity.
So no, most people do NOT want to improve themselves and do the work.
You really have to look at their actions instead of their words and superficial intentions.
With all respect bro, but I think you are protecting the lazy and the tire-kickers here with a false sense of empathy in my opinion.
In the end, you are running at risk of simply being used for your energy.
Because people can take from you infinitely.
Because laziness is designed to be a dead-end concept.
Therefore, and it is up to you to learn to discern WHO is actually aligned with your values and who isn’t.
Those who are aren’t are on their own path and trying to forcefully align yourself with them will only drain you of your energy and time!
I understand the subconscious desire of assuming that “if we all work hard together, we can make it”. But that is wishfull thinking from the Inner Child in my opinion.
The Inner Child wishes that “we could all be friends and support each other”.
And everyone says “we are family” and “in it together” – that is until the actual hard work needs to be done – then most are back to watching Netflix.
They say they do and they daydream that they do, but they actually don’t.
The proof is the numbers:
How many people go to the gym or look for solutions to be fit? Half of the world’s population is overweight.
How many people are afraid of death yet never research what comes after it? 99.9%+
How many people want to feel better yet never do basic research on psychology and potential healing solutions? 99%+
Etc.
There are really no excuses for most people in the age of internet and smartphones.
Pretty much everything can be learned if you really want to.
So yeah, “not knowing how” is just a lazy excuse.
Because you can always simply start looking for trying to figure out how.
And that is exactly what most people never do!
99% “solutions” given by society are super-ego based.
“do this”. “do that”.
it only feeds your super-ego and makes you a more unconscious slave to norms & rules.
this is the usual solution: “meditate 30 minutes a day” to then feel good about yourself and how other people are not doing meditation as much as you are.
this is how most people work. they feed an ideal version of themselves that is sustained on how other people aren’t as good as them because they aren’t doing what they are (going to gym, meditating, eating healthy, etc).
I’m quite inexperienced regarding this so please bear with me I also think many people don’t believe in spirituality or esoteric knowledge to the degree and depth many on this forum do!
I think if you take away a huge chunk of the knowledge in our forum and our beliefs, it makes sense that people focus on the physical plane only because its the densest and most obvious plane for us. Goals like money, romantic relationships, social status seem quite natural and valid if one only believes in what they see.
Curious to know as well how much you guys discuss about spirituality related stuff with your friends? Cuz for me nobody in my friend group believes in this I dont really mention it as its hard to accept morphic fields without a very open mind to begin with, much less learn and invest further
I also think many people don’t believe in spirituality or esoteric knowledge to the degree and depth many on this forum do!