Talking about staying the whole day up… I sometimes have to run errands and drive while I am insanely sleepy. + the sun hitting on my eyes with no sunglasses.
. + blasting music and driving fast because my anxiety goes away when I am sleep deprived
Life… A beautiful miracle that should never be taken for granted.
its so and so, he was a great man, lived a full life.
Don’t know how to really feel about all this as there is family stuff going on for some time too and
one hand is feeling good because I know he went the right way after death,
another is feeling sad because he passed away,
another is feeling confused because there is no way to explain all of these stuff just to accept and there are another 3-4 hands to count.
I swear I am not an octopus though
Jeez, just looking back now and realizing some of it feels some type of way.
I’m still getting diagnosed and tested, cause it’s multiple areas.
I didn’t get the proper medical help I needed when I collapsed, or before that, throughout my life, although I had spent all my resources for it. No one ‘irl’ doesn’t know what happened. I didn’t realize what was happening at the time.
As far as current diagnosis, I would rather keep it to myself yet…
Though I dream I will one day show here before and afters :)
There’s still a lot more to be investigated, I don’t know the full story yet. Delays due to money also, and other stuff…
At the moment, as per current medical investigations, it looks like everything inside had collapsed in a matter of months.
It looks like I was dying, and it looks like someone reached out to save me at the very last moment.
I’ve spent all this time fighting for my life that I didn’t really register what I’ve gone through until now, I haven’t really taken a break to ponder on it, just one foot in front of the other every day.
I’ll leave it at that for now. Gonna have to smoke a joint and process it all some day cause it still seems surreal if I think of it.
That sucks
I’m sorry you are going thru all of that. Health issues are no joke. I don’t know how to really measure this but if I had to rank the best happiness killers, health issues would be up there. It feels like you cannot do shit no matter what you try, like you have been actually cursed.
aye lol, but for me it feels surreal when I smoke.
That’s why I don’t do it anymore… I get sent into a weird state of consciousness. I need to love myself more to be comfortable in it. Hopefully soon
?
I hope you’re processing that grief, sir 
Perhaps that audio could help you out :)
I’m sorry I can’t be more sincerely encouraging, this is your pain and I can’t pretend I understand you.
I do wish you get over the grief and what comes with it in the healthiest way possible
I do see the angels thing as a silver lining.
It reminds me of when my grandfather died. That’s when I first realized that I am not just my body, that I have a soul, which is undying. He was not well before he passed, and I seem to have found him still wandering around here.
So that’s why it is so sweet to me that your grandfather was escorted into heaven by angels :) I hope you are filled with all the great memories you have of him, and I hope you’ll get all the crying and release and joy you need
+I wish you get all the support you and your entire family needs 
Yeah that’s why I also say it like that, I have avoided smoking.
But I think I might at some point because it seems to connect me deeply with myself on the inside, the painful and the beautiful. Like allowing me to feel stuff, then process, then understand, then move on
But I might have to schedule it… someday :))
Yeah. Thank you though! :) That’s why it’s so great that you have healthy habits! 
Ok bois I’m gonna head to rest.
I wish you a pleasant weekend still!
Thank you Zea
Wish you the best too
Am i the asshole for being bored?
So last night I wished for something for you and your family, then I saw something very similar to your avatar. Didn’t see it very clearly, only later realized it, but it was like a white cloudy blob with 2 white wings going like this:
Don’t just tell us…tell us how to combat it xD
If you have strong Jupiter in your birth chart. It won’t be a problem.
And if I don’t? I honestly don’t know.
So I guess we can play jupiter field? Or is there a zodiac sign field that would work too?
If you don’t. Your whole life is a fucking mess for whole 6 months of it. The conjunction of rahu Jupiter.
They done damaged to me. Not only physically. Mentally. Spiritually. Relationshiply. Whatever. It’s hardship.
This is out of rahu Jupiter.
But rahu sitting in my moon/ascendant. It ruin me.
Idk about yours. But rahu in 1st never a good thing.
It is painful to be aries right now.
The field based in Western zodiac. Not sure.
I mean you can chant Jupiter mantra.
Or drink turmeric milk every morning.
It is rather the physical planet, I believe, with some archetypal aspects?
Anyway thanks.
In Western. Jupiter is already headed in taurus. In vedic its still in aries.
You can try. And see if it works for you.
Again.
If it based in vedic it will be specified. What it will brings. Jupiter can act malefic too. If it place in certain sign. What padas it stays in ect.
But generally speaking Jupiter transit in aries right now brings lot of good things. But that annoying shadow planet rahu mess up Jupiter fruits.
I was wondering where you were :) 
Sorry for your loss.
Take care man. Like you said, at least you can feel comforted that the angels will take care of him.
Probably in the shadow realm xD
Heyo ^^