Random thoughts thread

[IAmJonathan]

@_Ro

@IAmJonathan

In some months I’ll hang, but I don’t wanna spar no more, so it don’t matter

Really?

Sparring? For sure

In a prize fight? If I can get lucky landing a hard shot on the inside where I put my body into it
I think I can lay out a lot of people out there

I remember when I first moved in a boxing gym in Oakland, the coach kinda treated me like shit

Till I sparred his “golden boy” son lol (he had 2, I sparred the older one)

It was my first week back boxing so I knew I was gonna get lit up

I remember this boy (lol he was like 27 I was 19), was throwing everything hard
I remember one hook he threw
I looked at it smiled and didn’t dodge it
I let it land and then looked at his father smiling, probably bleeding from my nose too

But I felt this way the whole time, just letting this guy go all out while I refuse to hurt him

The whole gym knew I can crack, cuz they heard me light up a bag and there wasn’t not one heavy weight that can light a bag like I could, I was only like 170
Right after sparring him, I did some pad work with his father (the coach was called Lightning Lopez, I lived in the Lightning Lopez boxing gym) and he knew my punches crack
He told me the reason his son must’ve sparred like that was cuz he was intimidated by my punches

The thing with me is that, I don’t spar hard but my hands are real heavy so it lands as so

The morning after (or so)
The same mean main coach… Was talking about “heyy Champpp ”

He completely 180° his attitude towards me

Definitely viewed me as a prodegy

I used to want to be world champion at every weight division going up to heavy weight (all the way down from super middle weight or light heavyweight) and knock out people like Wilder and fury, just whoever talking really

And I knew I didn’t need to be 6 foot 7 inches tall to do it
Just needed my fist on their face

I quit boxing when I was in that gym after I got attacked by a homeless(?) persons pitbull on Alameda, next to Oakland when I was going to a 24 hour fitness to shower (the boxing gym I lived at didn’t have a shower only a bathroom)

So I was 19 right?..
2 years after, with 2 years of bodybuilding and completely transformed body, I still felt like I could quit bodybuilding, get fully fledged in boxing again and become the greatest boxer ever

It didn’t leave my mind

I kept feeling it

I would see who’d be talking online, whatever champion, and I would think I could destroy all these guys if I pursue it… but nahhh…

So I bottled this in

So with this in me, yes, I believe I can hang sparring light heavyweights - cruiser weights - heavy weights after like 4 months of good training …

But professional prize fighting? I gotta stay awake and land something proper lol

[IAmJonathan]

@_Ro

Bro, you know so much Yeah, it’s been 4 days I think and I already feel the difference (finally ).

See!
Patience is a friend

@_Ro

And I feel 1000 times better while walking etc

That’s what’s up!

You’re coming in to your best shape of your life

@_Ro

All this time…it was so easy to fix my “problems” and my mind was so foggy, I hesitated to research and do the exercises

A lot of these things may have been the reason for the fogginess to begin with

Impeded energy flow → fogginess to address problems

It’s like quick sand
Needs to be addressed properly, the sooner the better

@_Ro

I have total confidence and patience to work out for a long time…

Imma hold you to it!

[IAmJonathan]

@_Ro

Trainers say weights won’t make you muscular (If you’re a woman) but is that true? I prefer lean muscles

Really?

Well

Depends on what workouts you doing lol

Cuz, I see muscular girls at the gym all the time and… They hit weights

Just do higher rep ranges

[IAmJonathan]

@IAmJonathan

the Lightning Lopez boxing gym

I wanna share something about that experience lol

I moved in a Friday night I think

And Saturday morning they woke me up (I was living in this hall way area between an office and stairs, I had an air mattress there and my luggage where I kept my clothes)

And immediately…
“Let’s go, time to spar”

I thought that was crazy lol

No food no water not even brushing my teeth just going to spar haha

My breakfast where punch sandwiches lol

Imagine waking up and the first thing you need to do is “light” fighting?

[_Ro]

@IAmJonathan

But professional prize fighting? I gotta stay awake and land something proper lol

This one doesn’t matter
I’d be sad if you quit sparring overall(I thought you meant that). You do it so well, enjoy it, you have a talent

@IAmJonathan

I would see who’d be talking online, whatever champion, and I would think I could destroy all these guys if I pursue it… but nahhh…

Would you actually wanna a be world champion?

@IAmJonathan

I quit boxing when I was in that gym after I got attacked by a homeless(?) persons pitbull on Alameda, next to Oakland when I was going to a 24 hour fitness to shower (the boxing gym I lived at didn’t have a shower only a bathroom)

You were injured?
Why did you quit after that ?

@IAmJonathan

The morning after (or so)
The same mean main coach… Was talking about “heyy Champpp ”

He completely 180° his attitude towards me

Lmao that’s how they be behaving. I’m not surprised at all

[_Ro]

@IAmJonathan

Patience is a friend

Patience is a parent, heating system, cooling system, comfort pillow, summer vacation all combined

@IAmJonathan

You’re coming in to your best shape of your life

YES SIRRR

@IAmJonathan

Impeded energy flow → fogginess to address problems

You know, I never took it seriously enough (energy in the body) Just thought that it’s… something very distant, something that’s very abstract or occurring way way later in a way I would never understand anyway but after seeing how literally muscles develop after one single workout I’m starting to take everything seriously and as instant thing it’s like… I have a closed up look now getting there

@IAmJonathan

Imma hold you to it!

I’ma hold you to holding me to it

[IAmJonathan]

@_Ro

I’d be sad if you quit sparring overall(I thought you meant that). You do it so well, enjoy it, you have a talent

Ah it’s okay don’t worry,
I sparred once with my MMA friend the other month, it’s all good, I hang the gloves, I retire from physical combat of any kind except self defense if ever needed

Imma still crack at these bags and make em wish they weren’t ever bags!
lol

I will do stuff for reflexes and all, just don’t wanna get too physical with people no more not even sparring

And I think it works out for my brain development in the long run, don’t need to get punched in the face no more lol

@_Ro

Would you actually wanna a be world champion?

What do you mean? Like when I would see them?

I would just feel like it’s a tease of an opportunity I can take that I should just let slide

But back in the day?
I wanted to be the greatest boxer that people can look back on in the year 3000 and know for a fact that I’m the greatest, world champion was just a byproduct, I wanted to achieve it in dark and terrible ways
Because I felt that it could only be dark and terrible, I felt like the greatest should absolutely decimate all competition at the time, completely ending careers and more
Now I understand, the greatest, the true greatest, would be able to destroy any one and not do it, mercy them
Instead of being dark and terrible to a human even when they are willing to die for it too

@_Ro

You were injured?
Why did you quit after that ?

Yeah I one fang really went in my wrist
Had some trouble closing the pinky and ring finger on my right hand

It was this hugeee dog

The hole would bleed whenever I’d throw punches

Even if I was only throwing punches with my left hand (this wound was on my right hand)

I quit because

In the time I was recovering, I had an understanding
That I could do something greater
That I could do something positive instead
That I could impact the world in a good way
With all this fire and belief I had in myself

I saw how my own belief was manifesting things for me in boxing (I truly felt like my power was epicly multiplying, I felt like I could crack legendarily)

Boxings greatest gift to me was the mindset

I thought I was manifesting things at the time with my own self belief and push

@_Ro

Lmao that’s how they be behaving. I’m not surprised at all

My main coach, my old coach
From Miami…

I used to call him father at times by accident

I used to feel like I let him down

I knew he believed in me

When the gym would close he’d take me home

We would talk

He told people I will be the best one day when I wasn’t there (but close enough to eavesdrop once)

He told me about his financial problems

I think he viewed me as his future fighter that would get him out of these problems

I thought he was the greatest trainer in the world

I love that man

I left one day with out telling him never came back
Never even knew about me living in Oakland
Never knew about me quitting

Never knew about my life after one day

I was a kid
But that man impacted me in such a great and fortunate way

The day I walked in the gym, I wore baggy clothes and sagged my pants

He told me to tuck my shirt in or he’s not coaching me

That man set me up for the future, that man corrected me

[_Ro]

@IAmJonathan

Really?

Well

Depends on what workouts you doing lol

Cuz, I see muscular girls at the gym all the time and… They hit weights

Yeah, I know, I don’t know why they keep saying that
I remember doing squats as a teen to lose fat on legs. I read it from articles back then. I had a huge insecurity about that. Anyway, 3-4 days later my legs were HUGE I was traumatised. Never doing squats since then

@IAmJonathan

Just do higher rep ranges

Yeah
Exercising without calorie deficit also makes you bigger kinda

@IAmJonathan

I moved in a Friday night I think

First time in my life I learn that you can live in a gym

@IAmJonathan

And immediately…
“Let’s go, time to spar”

I thought that was crazy lol

No food no water not even brushing my teeth just going to spar haha

My breakfast where punch sandwiches lol

Imagine waking up and the first thing you need to do is “light” fighting?

Lmao. Interesting. Sounds interesting though. Like actual men training. Not that bad yk, considering that boys have a lot of energy and it has nowhere to go and they’re going to school with girls and are being punished for not being as still as girls (which leads to hatred towards women sometimes).
Kinda irrelevant but in my country 99% of teachers are women. So, boys are being raised by women completely (women at school, mom, aunts, gradma at home) and… it’s not going well

[IAmJonathan]

@_Ro

. Anyway, 3-4 days later my legs were HUGE I was traumatised. Never doing squats since then

I can definitely see that happening

Squats do dat

@_Ro

First time in my life I learn that you can live in a gym

lol it wasn’t legal

Business building not residential
So I was told

Mike Tyson lived in a gym too
But his gym actually had a house haha so he had a room and stuff

This gym had a kitchen though! Had that going on…

@_Ro

Lmao. Interesting. Sounds interesting though. Like actual men training.

Just da men goofing about

@_Ro

in my country 99% of teachers are women. So, boys are being raised by women completely (women at school, mom, aunts, gradma at home) and… it’s not going well

Ideally there would be balance

I was raised by women lol

I definitely needed a father to correct me

I did see my father every 2 weekends for 2.5 days though

I think I would be much different today
But it worked out for me
I became different in a way that’s good for me

[_Ro]

@IAmJonathan

I love that man

He gave you the most precious thing, another reason to feel love deeply.

@IAmJonathan

I left one day with out telling him never came back
Never even knew about me living in Oakland
Never knew about me quitting

Never knew about my life after one day

I was a kid
But that man impacted me in such a great and fortunate way

Yeah
It’s not important that he knows, right?
Cause he’s done the most important thing anyway

@IAmJonathan

The day I walked in the gym, I wore baggy clothes and sagged my pants

@IAmJonathan

He told me to tuck my shirt in or he’s not coaching me

I can’t imagine you like that

@IAmJonathan

I think he viewed me as his future fighter that would get him out of these problems

Maybe. He’s still the best though. For you.

@IAmJonathan

That man set me up for the future, that man corrected me

Literally healed you

@IAmJonathan

My main coach, my old coach
From Miami…

I didn’t mean coaches overall. But there is this type of people: who treat you like shit but then start respecting you later after seeing you succeed.
I meant them.
Horrible behaviour, most people are not aware of it by the way.

[_Ro]

@_Ro

He gave you the most precious thing, another reason to feel love deeply.

Speaking of this, this exact concept helped me get over all of my “heartbreaks” (not romantic only but generally) that felt very significant at the time.
I read it somewhere that even if it didn’t work out or anyway, that person gave you the feeling of love, it means you are capable of that and this exact person made you feel it again not someone else, so you should be thankful of that to them
And it really clicked.
I was very thankful and could finally let go( but with grace)

[IAmJonathan]

@_Ro

Yeah
It’s not important that he knows, right?
Cause he’s done the most important thing anyway

No… It will just be in the shadows of my mind, configuring and disfiguring itself for when it shows to my minds eye
The light it’s presented by will change with time as it has
I used to see it under the light of shame and embarrassment, of letting him and myself down even
Now I see it under the light of acceptance

@_Ro

@IAmJonathan

He told me to tuck my shirt in or he’s not coaching me

I can’t imagine you like that

Yep, in case I ever needed a parachute, I had my clothes

@_Ro

Literally healed you

Saved me

I was gonna be a gangster rapper lol

@_Ro

I didn’t mean coaches overall. But there is this type of people: who treat you like shit but then start respecting you later after seeing you succeed.
I meant them.
Horrible behaviour, most people are not aware of it by the way.

Oh I know… I just wanted to share:)

@_Ro

Horrible behaviour, most people are not aware of it by the way.

Yeah their instincts of heart control them, not their awareness

[IAmJonathan]

@_Ro

Speaking of this, this exact concept helped me get over all of my “heartbreaks” (not romantic only but generally) that felt very significant at the time.
I read it somewhere that even if it didn’t work out or anyway, that person gave you the feeling of love, it means you are capable of that and this exact person made you feel it again not someone else, so you should be thankful of that to them
And it really clicked.
I was very thankful and could finally let go( but with grace)

There’s love to live in life

Love is the most beautiful thing

Reason for living in my eyes

It’s the most important thing to living

Love

I’m thankful for love and to be able to love

There will always be love

[_Ro]

@IAmJonathan

I will do stuff for reflexes and all, just don’t wanna get too physical with people no more not even sparring

Why? Like, not called to do so anymore?

@IAmJonathan

And I think it works out for my brain development in the long run, don’t need to get punched in the face no more lol

Yeah, that’s really an issue Like, a serious one. My relative literally stopped cause he couldn’t go to work and use his brain on a computer after sparring lol

@IAmJonathan

world champion was just a byproduct

Damn

@IAmJonathan

Now I understand, the greatest, the true greatest, would be able to destroy any one and not do it, mercy them
Instead of being dark and terrible to a human even when they are willing to die for it too

Yes
Compassion and kindness strongest of them all

@IAmJonathan

Yeah I one fang really went in my wrist

O my God
Bro, you have some stories

I can relate to that…a bit. We have hundreds of stray dogs outside our house and gotta fight for life each time going to store
Also…I can hear them attacking victims every night under my window

[IAmJonathan]

@_Ro

Why? Like, not called to do so anymore?

Yeah that’s why I’m even switching things up in my life
I’m going to get into calisthenics, running, boxing while weight lifting here and there
I no longer want to be 275 lbs
Thinking imma cruise around 215 now

I’m probably 200 now lol haven’t worked out in weeks and eating no where the same as I do when I’m on
Surely I’ll get 5 lbs heavier when I’m back after a week but depends on what I do, not sure really

@_Ro

Yeah, that’s really an issue Like, a serious one. My relative literally stopped cause he couldn’t go to work and use his brain on a computer after sparring lol

Damn
Yeah and it’s not like it’s healed after a day either

He was probably a bit different for like 2 weeks

@_Ro

We have hundreds of stray dogs outside our house and gotta fight for life each time going to store

That’s sucks!

You know after I got attacked I was a bit traumatized
Started feeling a bit fearful from dogs
Took me like 5 months to get back to how I was

I walked by that growling pitbull being held at the collar by a homeless(?) women like “ah, dogs LOVE me, no worries”
Moment my shoulder passed them, SNAP, that dog was latched on my wrist lol

@_Ro

Also…I can hear them attacking victims every night under my window

Wow damn lol

@_Ro

Bro, you have some stories

Oh I do

I closed myself in ways for some time but in recent times I stopped holding back

I used to be like

Why share this about me? Ego blah blah
You know, on spiritual pursuits

Now I’m like, it doesn’t even matter

[_Ro]

@IAmJonathan

This gym had a kitchen though! Had that going on…

Yeah, and that’s when your arc with cockroaches began

@IAmJonathan

I became different in a way that’s good for me

Yeah but it doesn’t work out for everyone.
Balance is important, I agree

@IAmJonathan

I used to see it under the light of shame and embarrassment, of letting him and myself down even

I understand.
No, it’s great you’ve had him in your life, this experience, this influence. And it’s great for him that he’s had you in his life.

@IAmJonathan

Yep, in case I ever needed a parachute, I had my clothes

@IAmJonathan

I was gonna be a gangster rapper lol

Maybe in some parallel universe that gangsta rapper is influencing some young boy

@IAmJonathan

Yeah their instincts of heart control them, not their awareness

Wdym?

[_Ro]

I’ll respond tmr bro, it’s very late, gotta sleep

[IAmJonathan]

@_Ro

Yeah, and that’s when your arc with cockroaches began

Actually!
That place didn’t have no cockroaches
It wasnt by a residential area that much in Oakland (well, it was like 2 blocks away lol but still)
So I’m sure the cockroaches hanged where people slept

The cockroach infested house was in San Jose (which I have crazy crazy stories about but wouldn’t share cuz it has to do with gangsters and stuff like that and I don’t wanna share these kinds of things on here)

Yesterday I was coming home
There was a cockroach at the door step right by the door

They always chill there so that when we open the door they come inside

It wasn’t easy to get it to go somewhere else before I can enter my house lol

@_Ro

Yeah but it doesn’t work out for everyone.
Balance is important, I agree

It maybe wouldn’t have for me either if it weren’t for my old coach

@_Ro

And it’s great for him that he’s had you in his life

I hope I didn’t make it harder for him to trust in a future prodegy of his
Maybe I developed trust issues in him

I hope not
I hope he sees life in a nicer way
I hope he’s doing better…

[IAmJonathan]

@_Ro

@IAmJonathan

Yeah their instincts of heart control them, not their awareness

Wdym?

Their hearts full of greed moves their body with out them being aware of themselves and their greed

[IAmJonathan]

Okay, bon voyage!

Time to get ready for the fight tonight!..