thanks @SoulStar33 for the idea too
the pic is really sick
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Idk
Iāve been wanting to die for a while
Not physically, but psychologically
Im not depressed but I have been insanely stressed out about my life
I want to reset my mind
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So much fear surrounding my goals
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Sounds harsh but I mean like letting go of everything for just a moment. Take a break from existence lol
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aaaahhhh a really complex matter
so if you are possessive what if you are possessive with yourself?
it points to many things.
To see a whole picture is my specialty but funnily enough I can not see the finer lines.
So the finer lines are up to you, I really can not come to conclusions of where those things stems from but I really know that fear is of adaptive nature.
those two can connect but it is not that much fear of change as fear of being the same if those two connect.
so possessiveness of your self, fear of losing control of it because of not being of control of your own evolution.
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this of course stands true if astrology is true
I am
Im suffering really
This damn fatigue and tiredness problems is so damn annoying
All I can do is literally wait but I dont want to! I am getting so impatient because I wanna make real progress
All this knowledge is making me suffer more because it just opens my mind and gives me so many ideas but Iām not able to execute them. Imagine telling a slave he can actually be free but he has to wait who knows how long
Man that hurts
I donāt know where the fear is coming from but I am scared of something
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yeah funnily enough to stop making subliminals or try to know more stuff will take the fear go away too and solve the problem.
because the problem is not fear of the unknown but way too much inapplicable information that you want to integrate and you canāt because itās not practical.
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A lot of it is practical but as I said
Something in me wants to take action and if i really wanted to i would be doing it right now even though im tired
But at the same time I donāt want to do any of it because I want to take action with the real me, the one with energy and enthusiasm
When i put my mind to it I really do. Half-assing my goals right now would probably hurt me more
Which is actually whats happening with one of them
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give me an example of a practical thing you want to do but you canāt
in addition to that give me an example of how you would proceed doing it
and to end the story of those two what the conclusion would be from it? how it ends? whatās the conclusion or the outcome etc. It may be physical or non the outcome
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It really is annoying
Cus I am starting to get really mad about the situation and I am already starting to point fingers and blame people
I realize when I start doing that is because Iāve had enough and I want the pain to stop
Do cardio bro
Meditate
Do breath work
Spiritual work
Psychic Work (Ive been wanting to take the energy awakening course for ages now) i also have so many books about psychic abilities and stuff
Work my ass off so I can finally buy my own car
Not having my own car, that alone makes me so paranoid and anxious
but you answered only 1/3 of the whole question though
How exactly would I answer this?
If I want to do cardio I would just go run before work and after showering
Do spiritual work on my days off or after work
Meditate before work
Like that?
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The routine is the least of my concerns
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I cant even watch a movie without getting frustrated 
Like I would definitely want to do what they are doing in the movie but nah lol I have to sit down here and waste my time
Like a little kid watching other kids play and have fun but all he can do is watch from a distanceā¦ 
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you seem to put emotions in everything you do. Emotions matter but duking it with courage to sustain a routine is a feeling too.
without routine you will never understand your limits too. If you go to work and come back sleeping then you should give attention to only work, eat better and supplement whatever it needs to be above that then continue with the more energy you have to do one thing you want till you find your limit there too.
Managing that is better long run and exceptionally more fulfilling than putting 12 things you want to do and not feeling great.
You know,to do more is for people that feeling bad because of having a lot of energy not for those who have little. Those with little energy start with little things to do till they can do more and more and more.
lol I understand.
But I accepted that I can not do more than I can do right now and that because so I can do more in the future.
Donāt want to be in debt on myself in the future. indulging in excess right now and making him pay for it with even lower energy. Itās actually really worth it to come to a conclusion like that. I mean only if I had that I would be really fulfilled doing some things and not doing other things.
What people call āmustā do.
If my sentences makes sense of course because I am thinking in greek not in english.
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Thats not what I mean
I already have a way to make my routine
You think I am not writing stuff down 24/7 if all i can do is think and write?
I have came up with insane stuff that i will definitely sell as a course
Routine is the easiest part
Gathering all the information and making it practical in a step by step process is the hardest, even more so than taking action and being consistent
Already tried, didnāt work. My job is soo boring all I can do is think think think. I think about my life, about what I will do next, my goals. Or I listen to stuff from youtube, books, etc.
Which as you know, causes me more suffering lol
Lately I have been trying to listen to just music and talk to people but it gets boring quickly too
I appreciate it and I donāt want to sound pessimistic but trust me bro
Like I swear. The exhaustion cannot be put into words
It makes me want to cry but I canāt for some reason.
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so what conclusions we came here?
you have a plan or not or what is happening now?