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Go to a doctor, and apparently you did. My experience of taking psychiatric medication for a decade has been, it just kept me not being hospitalized, still far from actually fully functioning. But not being hospitalized is an important thing in my opinion.
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Three to four months in using Dream’s fields, I found the those which seem to fit my urgent needs did not work or work little. I did not lost faith in these fields though. With some experiments and purchases, I found what I lacked was a fatass rock hard field that breaks apart my myriad of issues. Without throwing a fatass rock hard fileld to open a crack that cage of mine. For me, that one is blueprint of life, and I need to experiment more, I think. But I think everyone has different situations, and has to try out himself/herself. Once you find that one rock, all the other things suddenly will start to be effective. So, if those with relevent description shows little to no effect, try to use some generic but powerful fields, to see whether those are your rock.
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My experience was, fields are tremendously helpful, but the even more powerful is a person or mentor who happen to know what’s exactly wrong within me and kick me in the ass. I’ve actually had several occurrences of being kick hard, but I just could not understand why I was kicked. Who kicked you is more important than how you are being kicked. Pray or use fields that may uptick chances that you meet one trustworthy mentor.
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Resistance is probably the strongest force in the universe. By any means necessary, move. It may take forever to move just a bit, at least for me.
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Body, mind, spirit/soul/whatever are connected. Rarely do we see some situations not involve all three. But there is one aspect that’s the root, and the only way to solve it is to target that root aspect. Try to find the root. Sometimes mental blockage or resistance may be inflicted by spiritual issues or physical issues, but not in the mind. Ten years of psychiatric medication did not solve my mental issues, because it’s not physical.
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Currently I’m just a mess wandering around, please find advice from sages on this forum. I can only show you how mess I am as a anti-mentor. Just don’t do what I did.
activates zenified emotional gains
I tell you the truth… It’s gonna be difficult. Not because you can’t do it or (insert any limiting beliefs you have), but because you are by now used to not expressing emotions. So whomever you try to open up to, it will feel foreign to you, accompanied with a lot of resistance and it’ll feel like it isn’t you.
The only thing you can do is push through. The best situation you could find yourself in is that you have an enormous crush on someone and confess to them your feelings. That should liberate you. If you’re not lucky to find yourself in this situation, you can just start with baby steps. You could genuinely thank someone whom isn’t related to you. You know… Thank the delivery guy, the barista, the newspapers, etc. The gratefulness is probably closest to expressing love. Eventually you’ll get there.
Usually the reason for not expressing love is simply a fear of rejection, i.e. you think you might get rejected because in a long time you haven’t expressed your feelings. But this is all crap.
In the end you just gotta get started and everything will go well
I like that! There was a phase where I was constantly exposed to the “insides” of works of this nature, and I was always paying some kind of a “mindless attention” to always telling them thank you. I was suprised to see how over time I was really different–like my communication with everyone was different.
Perhaps also, the interconnection of everything and divine spark of others.
(side note, I don’t think this is about ‘love’ or at least just love, I think it’s more of something in general, turns out there is a lot of emotions other than meh and love :D)
I’d say pause using all fields
Carry on, why you say that?
Pmed
Some people die (with old age even) without realizing this profound truth.
So thank you for bringing this up.
This relates to that banalized saying that tells that love is in the little things… in the details. “Hiding” in the daily interactions with people we do sometimes in auto pilot.
The world needs this love, the attention to the person next to you, who is serving you and sometimes is struggling a lot inside. Your truthful gratefulness for their service to you can bright light to their heart… A chain reaction of love.
This is healing. For all
A lot of great advice to you here @Zen
You got this 
Taking a look at the Love Graviton might be useful.
Also, Maoshan posted some interesting things in another thread:
I listened to the “Let Go” and “Going into the Heart Space” so far and they are really nice.
Best of luck to you.
I’ll like both, wouldn’t healing lead to transformation? a development of new behavior?
I didn’t know that, but that’s nice. I also added it because it’s the planet that rules my zodiac sign (Scorpio)
this is true, i guess these are things i’m somewhat proud of (yet at the same time feel like i can’t express that too directly due to fear of my ego overstepping)
i can def see a sense of self worth affecting my life, as if I don’t deserve to be recognized for my work. Whenever I make something and others are congratulating me i would “rub” if off as nothing, don’t know if It’s cause i don’t want to act egotistical or because deep down i believe i don’t deserve to be recognized. I spend more time aiding others in their journey than i do on working on mine (if that’s any indicator) usually giving me a greater sense of wholeness.
No, i don’t think this might be the issue. I’m usually doing my own thing without the need of approval from others. As long as i’m not being disrespectful or rude.
it’s clearly an area where i put my time into yes so i suppose I show some more interest in, but it’s beyond that. I have a difficult time expressing to the greatest being(s) in my love for them, in fact i would have a much easier time express emotions when they are from anger should anything happen to them. I recognize this but don’t understand why I have a hard time expressing love and appreciation and not just the most important people in my life but everyone i could potentially come across.
(sorry if this is out of order, my mind.)
Hey man, any progress since this has become one of your focus? 