Self Reflection Thread

The Social Lounge
#516

This.

You know honestly I don’t even feel I was even wrong. Just felt bad that he got hurt because he’s an otherwise caring guy.

All too familiar with this type. Yeah better to ditch these people.

Well. Difficult to answer lol. Thing is even my parents know about him. And he was very well behaved and innocent. So when they keep asking about how he is, it kinda hurts because I hide it from them that we have fallen out. And can’t reveal to them the reason because he is gay and all that stuff lol.

I think pity is the main emotion. I pity him because he got hurt. He’s not a guy you could say “Eff you” to because he’s one of those sweet innocent types (except when he’s being a gross manipulative sexual guy and making you uncomfortable).

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#517

Yep that’s the thing. There is no way I would vibe with him anymore. Not with his rigid view of the world and his fragile easily offendable opinions. I just feel the pain of hurting what I perceive to be a kind soul. Which is something I could work on.

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#518

Everybody has that, but you remember what you did wrong and you do better next time.

If you can apologize, you must.
If you can repay, get square you should.

But pity and guilt are no reason to have a relationship.
You’re gonna feel crappy and process it on your own, that’s YOUR baggage.

Or you could insist on a toxic relationship and end up being a bad friend, add insult to injury.
You don’t like him.

Let me give you a hint for next time

If you need to ask on a public forum “is it worth it” to be friend or to stay with my partner.

99% chance it’s not and you’re feeling guilty

“How do I reconnect with X ?” is one thing, but “Should I bother ?” Is a whole new script

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#520

Hello, everyone!

Just a general reminder to no-one in particular, as we have been noticing this happening more and more:

The Self Reflection thread is meant to be a thread in which no-one gives their opinion back — unless asked for.

Thanks!

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#521

I thought at some of what I did on the forum and I admit some of it is abhorrent. Never again will do. Also a disclaimer that it’s not habitual for me to things like that.

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#524

I experienced timelessness purity. I used to be like this as a child. If I can maintain this, it will revitalize my want to live again.

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#525

I was checking YouTube for something else, when I suddenly saw this:

I bow down (insert Dreamweaver saying “relax lol”). One of those quotes that make me want to zip it up :zipper_mouth_face: And certainly not because the supposed fool is necessarily my interlocutor(s). So nothing like “hehehe I’ll not argue to prove that I’m not a fool like them. I’ll keep my image polished and cool :sunglasses: :v:t2:“

Might also mean “I won’t argue with myself” sometimes. Not easy to admit but that’s how it is.

Extra greatly deep short…

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#526

Funny how everything is an element. Everything is a contribution. Everything is just a part of the story; the story that becomes. And while it’s becoming you can go ahead… Use your cards as you wish. As you wanna please yourself, or be pleased. You can’t change the role: The element. And as all rules, they all have scripts. They can vary in tone, in color, in accent… but they are all the same. They deliver the same story…

Also vet doctors who go straight to euthanesia without consent should deleted content for maturation purposes…

:arrow_right_hook:go straight to meadow from forgiveness meditation

My pup, my only boy, my only thing in life, my only reason for my future plans, my only breath to breath connection in this life… isn’t no longer here …

Funny he comes just a few days after I move out, and leaves this world just on the day I’m moving out and back to my parents house…

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#527

I currently stand at the twilight of my High School years. Senior Year (the last American school year before higher education) has just begun for me last week. And I have been thinking: why have I truly not been satisfied or happy with my school relationships over the last 12 years? That was when I realized, I have been trying to life up to the standards and expectations of everyone else, those which may very well not even exist and I just made up in my own mind.
For example, I always wanted to try getting with a girl. But my initial motivations for doing so were not out of a need for companionship but rather a desire for a perceived boost in social status that I thought I would gain from it. That was around my early middle school years. Now more recently, I want to be with women out of legitimate attraction for them, but I have also realized that the attraction is only superficial. I do not truly know these women or their personalities, something which I consider valuable in an actual serious relationship. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like something most women my age seem interested in, as they also seem to only have superficial attraction towards guys.

Then, there are my social problems. I’ve always tended to feel isolated from most others my age, whether or not it was actually the case. So instead of trying to form legitimate connections, I put on the act of class clown for attention. Sometimes it got the desired effect, but other times it would backfire and I would annoy people and/or land in trouble. And I still did not feel any closer to others.

So, this year, I have made a vow to myself: I am done trying to impress or appease others. It has served me as nothing but a waste of time, and i must focus on my self-love and self-development on my own terms instead of others’

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#528

I’m not a person of “prayer”… in fact, when I was young I’d always be unsettled by how “humans have always wanted to rely on something, instead of tapping into their own power.” It sounded logical to my intellectual mind… I can ask for help, and would really love to… Angelic? Justice? Sanxing? Aliens? I’ve been with them all… I’d so much love to recite a mantra… dearly asking for help… these deities; they are how I’m here anyway…

But just a few moments ago, I was looking up a video I’d saved a long time ago, and one video led to another, one recommendation landed me on a content I wouldn’t think I could be one of its audience…

A quick click!
Made me see,
a feeling I should have been more in touch with :)

And, there was it,
a meaningful nightly prayer. :slightly_smiling_face:

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#529

beautiful! :heart:

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#530

I thought in this case replying might be ok.

When I can do it, I really enjoy arranging my food. To me eating can be almost like a symphony :stuck_out_tongue: I will try everything on my plate to see what I like best and what goes well with what and arrange it in terms of best to worst (if I have different cookies I’ll do the same, etc) then work my way to the best. The last bite is a careful arrangement of all things good in the world (or, well, on my plate) one that I very much look forward to. But occasionally I’m not hungry towards the end, which makes the food not taste as good and I’m like “noooooooo! Hoisted by my own petard!” hahah Lately I’m “working” towards unconditional love, so instead of arranging all the food I try to love each bite for what it is. Work in progress.

Around the beginning, my boyfriend knew how I liked to arrange my food but once forgot it and asked for my last bite (we often share food at a restaurant). Apparently I looked at him for a very long time with a serious expression and said yes. He didn’t make the connection at first, just thought it was weird and after having taken it, realised how much love went into that decision.

Since, every once in a while he’ll give me his last bite arranged specifically as I like. I always think “now, that is true love” hahahahahah No need for diamonds or expensive things, the last bite and I’m weak at the knees :smiley:

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#533

I just entered and lingered in A State Akin To Sleep for about an hour. I recited a few affirmations about a physical feat I wanted to accomplish in the 3D.

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#534

I think … I think I’m relearning to revolutionize…
internally and out to a new world.

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#535

Sounds amazing

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#536

Sounds amazing and feels inevitable:)
But that’s when the solid push happens.

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#537

Manifested 2 desired outcomes in succession, 3 hours apart :sunglasses:

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#538

I have been on a manifesting spree. First I manifested some important documents to be sent to a country’s criminal department reach it earlier; this week compared to the next. Then I manifested the gumroad sale that’s ongoing right now. Next, after I read about covid toe, the long haul audio is uploaded on gumroad 30 mins later.

I’m not doing anything drastically different other than listening to my stacks. Perhaps the only thing is Semen Retention (SR), that I have been practicing since mid April. Which brings me to my next point, I no longer have a craving to watch porn. I feel indifferent to it. If I see a sleazy ad that pops up, I simply close it like how I would swat a fly that comes near my food.

I suspect my stack and SR has decrease anxiety at the thought of chatting up members of the opposite sex I find attractive. I have a curious and optimistic attitude towards this. (But, I have not actually chatted up anyone so far since all of this lol).

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#539

I feel defeated every time I fall in love just to realize later that it’s my inhibited childhood self freely expressed by someone else

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#541

Hi Froggy,
I know it’s a self reflection thread, but in case you are not using that field, I really recommend you to play Become Whole as much as you can.
Also unconditional love and subconscious limits removal are good additions :)

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