Single or in a relationship? - Now also featuring a poll

Why do you choose to respond to only this part?

Btw, nice story. Appreciate your brother’s mindset.

(I’m tired rn. I’ll answer tomorrow to all of you guys)

Plot twist: there have been!
Found it very surprising myself.
I dont know of any went on to get married from here tho
But if that ever happens they better invite you&me :speak_no_evil::see_no_evil:

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Let’s dance to garnet at the wedding

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Don’t worry hehe I was just playing around
The post was great though anyways

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No commenting on anyone’s posts here – just adding a few more points for thought:

  • 50% of your ancestors are also women / men.
    Which means your physical body would not be here enabling your physical experience if it would not have been for their efforts and courage :pray:.

  • Most likely a big part of all your incarnations were done/are done in the body of the opposite gender.
    So blaming the other gender for anything, means to blame a part of the larger self and hiding in the illusion narratives of the ego.

  • We actually are not men and woman.
    Those are just roles we play and experience.
    We are simply consciousness that makes the experience of being a man or a woman.
    How we play out these roles, and how much we are controlled by them or not controlled by them, depends on us, the consciousness.
    The biological filter (genes) can only do their influence but it is up to the consciousness (soul) to decide how much of which trait is expressed in which way.
    (I think everyone needs to watch Westworld)

  • For people questioning their currently chosen role, they should ask themselves why they have chosen to play the matrix game on the one particular server with the hardcore difficulty level in the first place:

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Single? Relationship?
  • Single
  • Relationship
  • It’s complicated

0 voters

Just to consolidate the results^

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It’s complicated?

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Now let’s see the it’s complicated category skyrocket

The pie chart looks lovely imo

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Relationship in a different realm. :laughing:

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@Nice2knowU
Single, but at some point (int the not so distant future :joy:), I want to not be single anymore.
But first, I have to solve some personal issues, since right now my life is chaotic and well, not really that great (at all), at least in economical and other terms; after dealing with these and with some other issues, I’ll invest in a relationship, because it’s an investment, emotionally and what not, I just can’t see myself just having superficial relationships (if you want to call them like that), but, hey, I don’t judge anyone (at least I try not to), no matter what gender you are.
Now that I think about it, I could have picked “it’s complicated”, but I’ll stick to single. :grin:
@JAAJ That’s a Great view and explanation, logical, spiritual and detached from “the game”.
@SammyG, your posts are the most complex ones. To be honest I even thought that I did a mistake with this thread, but, it looks like people want to express themselves and perhaps having so many different views/opinions it’s not a bad thing (?).

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They’re nice :wink:

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Complicated :slight_smile:

but let’s just say single with the freedom to do whatever i want with whomever i want. :) I just let party/parities involved know… ain’t that a beauty being open.

just to jump into the conversation…

What women really want is very simple… women want deep emotional intimacy. Every woman really wants this this is the core. From this we can then derive other things that she wants but this is ultimately what she’s looking for in a man and in a relationship. Of course women are very social creatures, women are driven by relationships and by emotions and social interaction a lot more so than guys are.

For women that’s like a fish and water motion… I’m not saying that all women are like that I mean these are generalizations but still nevertheless it’s very true that women are very fluid in relationships they have easier time in relationship. there’s actually neuroscience that shows that physiologically the woman’s brain is more adapted to relationship building and is more adapted to two actual verbal cognition so verbal skills are stronger in females than they are in males because of just the way that the brain is wired differently the male brain is more wired towards logical analysis

You have to understand a woman first before you can see what she wants and understand why she wants these things…

There isn’t magic or some secret thing that a woman wants. I mean you got to look at it from the woman’s perspective in the same way that you can look at it from a guy’s perspective.

Like what does a guy want in a girl? he wants everything…
what does a woman want in a man? she wants everything, the full package… who would say no to everything?

The question is what can she get and the question is what can you get as a guy.

It’s a market ya’ll…
the “sex market” in the dating and relationship market, people are out there shopping around and what are they shopping around for they’re shopping around for the maximum survival of their offspring. That doesn’t always feel that way to a woman it certainly doesn’t feel like she’s shopping around for maximum survival of her offspring. In fact if you look at it and you analyze the science that’s what’s happening it’s just that there’s a lot of nice emotions involved with it and the emotions carry you through and the rest it happens unconsciously I mean a guy is doing the same thing most guys are not psychoanalyzing and looking at the science behind what they’re doing.

but nevertheless that is the core… you’re trying to maximize your reproductive value well to do that that means you’re trying to find the best possible mate. So what does a woman want? she wants everything.

she wants good looks.
she wants security.
she wants social status.
she wants loyalty from the guy.
she wants a guy who’s confident.
she wants a guy who has humor.
she wants a guy who is detached and not needy with her.
she wants a guy who’s edgy and adventurous and.
she wants a guy who she could have like deep intimate dirty sex.

(interesting is that some these points are really not as important as they are made out to be in popular culture, in the media or even as you would think they might be important or even what a woman would tell you)

But since we live in the real world she’s not gonna want everything because she can’t get everything. She’s gonna settle for something and a guy does this too. A guy is gonna want a whole list of things just like a woman in a man wants certain things a guy will want certain things in a girl and they’re gonna be different but they’re still gonna be equally rigorous, guys are picky and women are picky.

There are certain things in a man that are absolute deal-breakers for a woman…
looks
security
social status and loyalty

these are all things that you would think a woman would really really want in a man. Good looks a lot of guys are really hung up about looks and they think that they need to improve their looks a lot in order to get a better girl…

Security a lot of guys will try to attract a woman with security and by security we mean money or playing that provider role in her life. Doing nice things for her , doing her favors, being the nice guy. You know just kind of going above and beyond providing for her financially.

Then theres Social status, women are attracted to social status they like a guy who has some sort of social value in society. Not just a bum on the street but someone who has got like a nice career or he’s got some celebrity he’s got some prestige he’s got some fame women are notoriously attracted to that.

Next would be loyalty, women are relationship bound types of creatures most women like to be in exclusive relationships, most women like to be in kind of a one-on-one deep very intimate relationship… this goes back to the original point of what do women really want they want deep emotional intimacy. So the best way for them to get that is in relationship because also that that has some of the other points too it gives them give some more security as well and of course boosts reproductive value…

they’re actually not deal-breakers they’re not that important… :upside_down_face:

here are the deal breakers:

Confidence:

as a man if you don’t have confidence you’re pretty much worthless to a woman. Confidence is so important basically a woman will not date a man who’s lower in confidence than her. It’s not possible at all or even if she does end up sleeping with you or dating you for a little bit in the end it’s not going to be a match. It’s not gonna be a happy long-term relationship so you need to have more confidence than your woman. You need to be strong, you need to be masculine, you need to be a man.

Humor:

women love humor notoriously, this is something that they really want in a man and the reason that they want humor is because women are emotional creatures. What they really want is emotional stimulation and emotional stimulation can be both positive and negative but of course they like the positive emotions more although a little bit of negative emotion is still stimulating to them and they enjoy that they’d like to have a range of emotions. They’re not like guys who are just like a flatline emotionally whereas for a woman there’s a kind of like broader and subtler range of emotions that she likes to go through and humor and laughing and smiling is so important. If you can make your woman laugh and be playful with her and adopt a playful attitude towards your relationship with her then she will love you so much and that’s gonna be rare that’s rare to find in a man. This is a really critical point.

detachment:

A man needs to be detached from his woman and now this is a point that women will actually dispute you on. they’ll say “well I don’t really want a detached guy” what is this detachment? it sounds like he’s an Ahole and he doesn’t care about me." That’s not what detachment means detachment simply means that you’re a man and as a man you’re on purpose in your life and that the woman is not primary it’s your life. Sometimes women will say “well but I want to be the center of my man’s life” but that’s not what they really want. What a woman really wants is she wants her man to be completely grounded, confident masculine out there achieving in the world. Then she wants him to be loyal to her of course and to be nice and sweet to her. Detachment doesn’t mean that you’re an ahole but it does mean that you’re grounded in something outside of your woman so that you’re not needy with her. Women will leave needy guys in a second not only will they leave them in a second they won’t even talk to them they will reject you just go out and try it go to any bar any club be needy with a woman that you’ve met for five minutes she will leave you like the plague.

this may be one of the biggest deal-breakers as far as guys and girls go in the dating scene if you’re a guy with neediness issues you need to fix that.

Edgy/adventurous:

women like guys who are edgy, what does this mean edgy guys? they’re not the straight-laced kind of JP Morgan stockbroker types… guys who are edgy are more like the adventurous kind of archetype type.
he’s the adventurer
he’s the poet
the musician
the artist
the quirky hippie

Something like that, these are stereotypes but ultimately what a woman wants is a sense of newness the guy is there to infuse her with emotions so in order to do that you got to be a bit adventurous. I mean who’s gonna infuse it with more emotions some sort of like beatnik poet or the guy from JP Morgan who sells stocks I mean nothing against guys from JP Morgan (talking in stereotypes) The idea is that you want to be interesting and you want to be a little bit dangerous. Women like men who are a little bit dangerous challenging them. Women need/want to be challenged. If the woman is challenging the man in the relationship that’s backwards and it shows signs of dysfunction and chances are that she’s gonna get bored with you as the man and leave you because she wants something exciting. She wants a man who was out there and like doing stuff in the world not a guy who just goes to his boring 9-5 job and then comes home has sex with her and then there’s nothing else. To her that gets really boring there’s no emotional stimulation in that… maybe that works with a guy it doesn’t really work well for the girl.

Deep passionate dirty intimate sex:

women love deep passionate dirty intimate sex, they’ll never admit it to you because it’s just socially unacceptable for them to do so. There’s have a lot of social conditioning that gives them a lot of limiting beliefs around sex. If you can give your woman deep intimate and dirty sex and I’m stressing intimate and dirty those two should come together right there they’re kind of a match if you’ve got both of those and you’re doing that on a regular basis then wow she’s gonna love you and that alone right there can be enough to get her to be with you. And basically all the other points you can kind of drop and you’ll still be able to keep around for quite a while because women do really love sex and if you can please her in the bedroom in the right way then you have a huge advantage over so many other guys.

deal-breakers:
confidence
humor
detachment
edginess or adventures
intimate dirty sex

not so important and a woman will not need them although she would like them:
good looks
financial security
social status
loyalty

if you’ve been having trouble with women then we can probably understand why and that’s because you’ve been focusing on the points a lot of guys they’ll build their entire lives around capturing their dream girl by hitting these points that are not really that important to them so they’re gonna go and try to get the best looks, earn a lot of money and then maybe get some social status in the community and then promise they’re gonna be loyal to the girl. Say that they’re gonna marry her and they think that that’s how they’re gonna get the girl and they’re gonna keep her happy but that’s not what she really wants. Don’t get it wrong she’ll take those things but she will leave you at all in a flash of a second if she finds a guy who’s willing to be with her who is super confident humorous and playful detached from outcome and adventurous and gives her intimate and dirty sex.

like there’s no comparison about who she’s gonna go with because look at what we’re talking about here. She’s getting tons of emotional stimulation being feminine she gets that here (dealbreakers) with the security and the social status I mean those are nice those can provide for her those can be nice to her on the logical level maybe she even needs those things in her life because maybe she’s strapped for money or maybe she wants to be part of the social circle that you’re part of. That’s nice but there’s like there’s there’s so little emotional stimulation in those things in and of themselves.

I encourage you to to be the full package because I mean that’s what she ultimately wants she wants the full package. If you want to get the hottest girl that you can get as a guy you’re looking for a very hot girl who is also an intelligent woman. you’re looking for the kind of girl that is gonna like that that’s going to be girlfriend material, relationship material. If you want that kind of girl then you’re gonna have to grow yourself as a man so the better you can become as a man then the more options are gonna have with higher quality women.

Heal yourself and take responsibility for the women that you attract. It’s easy to blame it on not having enough money or social status, the looks, the height (I mean really, do yah get hung up on a woman who wouldn’t date you if you’re not 6 feet tall? see how shallow that is, what does that have anything to do with her emotional stimulation? now you talk to me about a man who’s 5’7" dating a 6 foot tall woman (and is secure with himself), now that’s courageous, confident and can just assure you she’s happy :wink:)

:kissing_heart:

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Hi Zen!

I agree with 99.9% of what you said here

But just want to interject and say,

Not all of us like dirty sex, per se.

Some of us are partial to deep passionate intimate - sex.

All happy!

:)

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yes, this :)

I’m glad Jen :wink:

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Thanks Zen

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It makes sense, sounds good :ok_hand:

I don’t know why it makes me laugh so much, I had to read it in sessions :joy:

Am I the only one ?

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@Zen It looks like you’re Zen not only in spiritual matters! :grin:
Quite good points, I mostly agree, although there are always exceptions to the rule(s).

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I respect that despite all our differences in opinions, we tend to for the most part, respect our differences. Ya’ll handle yourselves quite maturely for the most part and I’m very fond of that.

I will admit, I get a bit weary when I hear guys say things like ‘girls ain’t shit but hoes and tricks’ cause well there are ladies in this forum. And that can be rather disrespectful to the ladies and make them want to stay away from this place. It’s happened before lol.

But that being said, I think we will never move forward as a society in these days in time if we can’t have mature conversations about these kinds of things. Just avoiding it all together and being so quick to jump and judge others is the reason we are so divided today. We gotta have these hard conversations and accept that this is how some people are thinking. And perhaps try to understand why they’re thinking that way. I think our aversion to their kinds of perspectives drives them further in.

Entertaining these thoughts, understanding them and perhaps suggesting healthier alternatives goes a long way. Just telling people they are wrong and crazy is what everyone is doing these days and obviously… that doesn’t work.

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I think you forgot to mention “Sexual Energy”.
Yang-Jing and Yin-Jing is what also makes a man and woman attractive.
The secret magnetic force between the two.

The higher the delta (difference) between a men’s Yang-Jing and a female’s Yin-Jing, the stronge the sexual magnetic pull attracting them to each other.

A high amount of sexual energy can make you successful with the opposite gender even if you are average looking etc.

:fire: :fire: :fire:

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hehe, far from spiritual Just focusing on remaining calm and collected within my emotional/mental states at least at the moment.

the username “Zen” is just as legit as “Fedex” and “The Federal reserve” :rofl:

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