On and off … don’t know about endorphins field though. Thanks
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Thank you so much 
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Can there still be a way … no I can’t see any light … only darkness everywhere … I am getting sick dealing with all this … I am crying and causing headaches for myself … kissing my voice also …I wish God just takes me away from here to a new life … I know I will miss my people here but I can’t anyway be of any use to them … or any use to myself
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A friend of mine committed suicide almost 15 years ago. She didn’t pass away, but her brain was damaged. She was at coma for 6 months. Her mum didn’t let anyone to see her. Even after all these years I think about her, and sometimes it bothers me. I’ve asked myself a hundred times that what if she didn’t do that and was here among us? At that time Sapien and other channels didn’t exist. You and all of us are so lucky to live in this era. But about your share of happiness, dear, your happiness is your responsibility. Happiness comes from within. There are plenty of fields that you can listen to in order to make yourself happy again. These fields change your mindset. Hope you feel better soon.
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You can find the Sapien Medicine descriptions of all the happiness neurotransmitters here:
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@Lanos
hello :)
I remember how I met you. although I did not have a chance to communicate with you
But I do remember this message of yours:
Most of the time I can’t keep track of everyone in the community, but I remember thinking, seeing your questions on the forum, about your confusion
You see, it seems to me you have provided little information about you, your surroundings…
It’s hard for me to say why this is so and not otherwise
Don’t consider it strict advice - but if the problem is caused by a certain imbalance of biochemical processes, Captain has an excellent album (Neuro Album) for optimizing brain biochemistry.
I know from my own experience, sometimes there is resistance when someone gives advice “do this, do that and it will be like this”. The person starts to resist, and such advice or an obsession to help, turns out to be meaningless.
If you don’t mind, I’ll just allow myself to ponder. Just thinking out loud. If you find even one suggestion valuable, I would be sincerely glad. These are my thoughts from the position of “looking back and what that period has given me personally”.
No, I am not “enlightened”, but I have some personal experience :)
I’m 100% sure that in most people’s lives, there have been such periods.
But I’m also sure that after black periods, there is a bright streak.
I’m not just telling you this to say it. Yes, I went through such a period too. And it lasted a very long time, and it was measured in years. It was a long time ago. A period of complete emptiness, of the meaninglessness of life.
And I did NOT know the Captain then.
Such periods give a lot. A stage of rethinking. I can talk about it in retrospect. It’s an experience. It’s a skill.
When I saw your post yesterday, I thought, “don’t I have anything to say to this person?”
I believe that in all periods, in periods of joy and grief, sometimes you have to remind yourself that life is finite… Sooner or later it will end, you agree.
I think inner comfort is measured by how much you’ve managed to understand what’s really interesting to you, what your passion is and how you’ve been able to realize that passion.
To understand what you want and what you like to do, regardless of the outcome
Often motivation revolves around being recognized, noticed, appreciated, to enjoy the attention and success we deserve. But there’s a huge difference between:
(1) wanting to be a great athlete in order to prove what the human body can do,
and
(2) becoming a famous athlete for the sake of fame or a gold medal.
These are two different motivations, and we often confuse them.
I argue that if you go with the first scenario, you can achieve inner acceptance of yourself.
If you follow the second, you achieve nothing.
It’s one thing to want to become a politician in order to feel powerful, but it’s another thing to actually change something and do something for people, for society, for the planet. Becoming a TV star to get magazine covers is the wrong motivation (it seems to me). If you’re willing to do the hard work without thinking about the outcome, you’ll get agreement with yourself :)
Look at how many people with money flicker on the screen every day (singers, models, TV hosts), but as soon as the money runs out or the person disappears from the screens, they are immediately forgotten, they are erased from space. So they chose the wrong motivation?
Interesting and passionate people are immediately visible. Even if you’re not interested in a topic, for example biology, but you meet a passionate scientist, he generates a lot of interest, and after talking to him, you leave with the feeling that you’ve met a whole person.
An area of knowledge/action, a passion for anything, for which you are willing to forget about yourself
Such a point, your own personal passion, that is true happiness.
It seems to me, but man, though a selfish being, feels happy only when his own self takes a back seat. When we put our own self after some person, we call it love. When we do something, forgetting about ourselves, we feel satisfaction and, again, happiness. In love, you dissolve in the eyes of the person you love. In the thing you love, it’s more important that it comes first, not your personal ambition, someone else’s praise, recognition or award.
We are all different, but each of us does something better than the other. Think about it, what is it? I am close to the phrase of the heroine of the movie “Vicky Cristina Barcelona,” “I don’t know what I want, but I know exactly what I don’t want.” If you know what you don’t like and what you definitely don’t want in your life, that’s already a good thing.
Tarantino worked as a movie theater usher, then realized he wanted to make movies himself
There’s a simple exercise to see if you’re doing something you enjoy - track for at least one day how often you lie. Lie to yourself, to your friends, to your bosses. If often, change your job and your environment.
Once you find this point - the road to success will be very fast. The only problem is that you may look for yourself all your life, or you may never find it. A person needs to try different areas and options
A successful blogger must produce several posts every day. It takes a tremendous amount of time
To be popular on this forum, you also have to work: collect your thoughts, analyze information, feelings (look at our @anon46520955 posts) :)
Success is only possible when your passion captures you completely :)
Do you enjoy social networking? Ok, you can become a successful blogger. Living what you are passionate about is the only way to become successful and happy.
What has kept me from doing what I love in my life? Nothing but myself. Hundreds of fears and limitations that held me back: can’t make it, won’t get credit, can’t do it, what others will say about me…
Every year there would be more and more fears and feelings that something will not work out. With each failure it becomes harder to get up, but spending your old age regretting missed opportunities is the biggest punishment for our indecision.
I will let you in on one big and very valuable secret. There is a huge hunt in the world for professional and savvy people. There are very, very few people who can in principle do this or that job responsibly and well, who are proactive, who are not indifferent. It only seems like all the jobs are taken, in fact they are all vacant.
Take my support.
You will succeed. Maybe you just need a little more time.
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Sounds like you are engulfed in bitterness.
There’s a lot to unpack from a life that has led one to bitterness so at the risk of oversimplifying let me start by saying look for the beauty. Look for the beauty in the everyday, in the sky, on the ground, in the perfect symmetry of a leaf. You get the picture.
Do as others have advised and focus on good nutrition, sleep, proper hydration, etc. In addition, sing songs…out loud. Sing “YMCA” from the Village People (and do all the moves) … out loud. Tap dance naked, in front of a mirror, and tell me you didn’t laugh (I dare you! 
). Do & tell yourself whatever pretty lies you need to in order to get yourself above water.
Then, once you have built up some strength, you start writing. Write about every shitty encounter, every time you felt crapped on or cheated out of your due in life. Write it as valid, as real (because it is). Go year by year, month by month…however it wants to come out, take it all down. Every last detail. Write it out on a piece of paper in as much detail as you can muster. Then shake your fist at the sky and burn it. Burn it all. (EDIT: “all” meaning all the papers containing your writing 
).
Then start again. Do it over and over and over until you’ve got nothing else to say and see how you feel.
All the while, focus on your good habits and keep looking for the Beauty. And, if I may be so bold, change your expectations. Happiness is great when it can be found but it’s not the litmus test of a life well lived. It’s overcoming the struggle (vs being overcome by it) that gives life its meaning. You know, “slay the dragon” and all that. Beauty will be your redemption. Focus there and I think you can right the ship. And…I can’t stress this enough…avoid bitterness at all costs…whether valid or not…give it its due, for sure, but treat it as the plague that it is.
All the best to you. Please feel free to reach out anytime whether in a open post such as this or in a DM. I’m happy to help you work this through.
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Many thanks for the thoughtful response… I do feel my problem is different… maybe not … I will introspect … but I do think it’s different… sorry for being vague but it’s not easy to open up here. I must have stopped myself from making this post for a few months now … I hesitated to write my state on an open forum but yesterday I finally couldn’t bear any longer … I hope something helps. And I know it won’t be easy without me telling the details … I am trying
I do know my passions … all of them and I feel most of them are for the right purpose rather then just recognition. I just don’t believe I can achieve any of those now … each and everyone of them is blocked by life
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I know! Thats the 1st thing we do when we are at the bottom again
Its a frustration mixed with anger, sadness and hopelessness. I get you.
Thats why i suggested instead having an item charged with the energy of the Sword of Righteous
One because you just gotta wear it.
Two because of the exhaustion and tiredness in not getting what is yours in this life, taken away or cut short again and again no matter what you do.
I dont know if you have read through that post? So u can undertand what it is. But basically is that. Stopping that from happening further and so far i am feeling detoxing me and clearing all the past and my hope (tho i am ok) is like raising higher and like i can feel it finally everything coming to me non stop.
I think @Danny_Ho is around your area and him and @anon32464289 can ship it for you, contact them and see how can be arranged!!
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Then its about time !
I want to keep this short ,so just trust me on this one.
There’s a reason I recommended those 3.
(Not saying other audios, wont help)
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Thanks Luna… infact @anon32464289 contacted me with this item… thanks to his generosity 
However, I don’t live in Europe … I am in India for past 5 years… I did study in Europe before that … not sure how you got this about me though.
Shipping to India won’t be good way for him to go… even crypto is banned in India so don’t know how it can be worked … but I will see if it can … should I play the field sword of righteousness for now ?
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Thank you so much for your generosity @anon32464289 … however I am not in Europe.
I read the description of shatachandi and am considering getting it … thanks.
Thanks for other tips as well … I have been trying to follow these already off late … but some setbacks happen and I loose it all.
Right now suffering from cold also and voice is gone …
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Thanks
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Thank you so much
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Never tried any mandala … will see. Thank you so much
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Yeah I did the other depression field from Sapien. Thanks
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Thanks for sharing
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Yes Eli … thank you so much for writing to me.
And I definitely have been trying fields and probably that’s why I am still here writing on the forum … some part of me believes there could be a way out.
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That was so beautiful @Nice2knowU … thank you for your kind words
And how do you know … but yes you are right … there is a single strong desire in me that didn’t fulfil for decades. But there are few more and all got blocked one by one.
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