HPP entry #1
- Agitation: Me stumbling through my words causes me agitation. Like a warm unpleasant feeling in my chest. So I said sorry to this agitation, which intensified it slightly and then I asked him to ’ please forgive me’. At this point, I had started to visualise my agitation as the teenage version of myself and gave him love by hugging him and saying that it’s okay. He seemed very worried and distant as well. Eventually he disappeared but the unpleasant aura of the agitation still remained. I went back to saying “sorry” to the emotion in my abdomen and then “forgive me”. This time around, I was able to detach the emotion from myself quick and “love” it. The agitation disappeared fast (radiating warm energy out of my abdomen) and I was left with a pleasant feeling after which I said thank you. Still needs a few more cycles though as recovering the memory brought back the agitation. Overall I think my ability to communicate the emotional meaning of the commands has become stronger.
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Annoyance: This was a tricky one. How do you apologise to something, much less love something that irritates you? The answer was in realising that this feeling didn’t deliberately want to annoy me and just needed some reassurance. Still, loving it didn’t completely work and I’ll be doing round 2 shortly. Interesting thing about annoyance is that it (sorry to be graphic) aroused me sexually, each time. I even felt the vibrations move from my abdomen down to my genitals and then up my lower back, where it stayed and was extremely difficult to calm down.
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Initiation barrier: This is the feeling I get when I have to start something difficult (like studying or in my case speaking) and I’m like oh goddd…
This feeling was much easier to release and manifested as the typical chest and abdomen vibrations although it’s gonna need a few more cycles to conquer. -
Impatience: As I was going through these releases and found myself encountering more repressed emotions, I started to feel impatient about when I was going to overcome my issue. I then focused on this feeling (which also turned out to be an anxiety type emotion in my chest) and released it. Upon checking, I am still impatient and it still needs a few more cycles.
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Emotional Pain behind so much resistance to speaking freely: Best effing release ever!!! The pain localised in the right corner of my chest. I focused intently and was able to make it into a ball with forgive me. Then saying I love you to it basically converted the negative vibrations into positive vibrations. The release has left me with such happiness. The pain actually seems to be gone!
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Literal energy shield barrier thingies powered by negative emotions (@anon22855873, I hope I’m not going crazy ) : Alright so fixing that emotional pain made me access my source of love to the point where I can feel constant good vibrations now. I’ve also identified these emotional blocks that manifest as physical barriers/weights making my lips and tongue heavy and difficult to move. All I’m having to do is identify each barrier, feel the negative vibrations in my chest, ask for forgiveness and love it. And then the negative vibrations get converted into positive vibrations again. I’ll keep doing this now until every barrier is gone. My speech is already feeling a lot less lighter now, requiring much less effort to pronounce the same things.
- Annoyance with utilising a temporary alternative to my speech problem: My speech problem stems from the fact that my lips don’t have the power to touch each other to make sounds like B, P and W. However, I’ve always had the ability to make an approximant sound using lower lip and my upper teeth. However, because I’m a perfectionist, I’ve always detested this idea. I figured I could get rid of this annoyance by releasing it. And so I did and my annoyance seems to have gone and I can speak using the approximant sounds. Hopefully I’ll find a way to fix the emotional reason behind what causes my lips to require more energy to touch each other.
Insights: While it’s true that the best way to heal the devil is by embracing him, additionally I think it is also important to detach from him (by using forgiveness). Then when the devil lets go, you can use your pure unconditional love to heal him and turn him into your ally. And a powerful one at that.