Anger against a certain group’s idiocy: Whenever I read posts from this group, I get filled with rage and it ruins my day. I finally decided to confront this rage. It took me 3 cycles to get to the point where I was unfazed by the idiotic posts.
Fear of encountering an insurmountable obstacle: It seems that with me, numbness and fear have countless layers to them and I will have to keep releasing them everyday. Fear of eventually failing is another one of my fears. What’s strange is that the deeper I go into this, the more resilient the fear (and numbness) is against my “I love you”. I will need stronger focus to get past this hurdle. I did 3 cycles of release today and got temporary relief but this is nowhere near finished. I feel like there are other emotions to release before I can fully conquer this fear.
a) Relapsing at no fap after 132 days: In a moment of weakness, I relapsed at something I thought I had conquered. I was left incredibly drained from the relapse and immediately lost all my positivity. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise. There was a lot of negative emotion to release from this occurrence. It took me 4 cycles to pick myself back up again from the incredibly demoralising experience.
b) Feelings of unhealthy desperation for female attention: I had realised that my motivation for no fap was powered by an unhealthy “need” (aka desperation) to be super attractive to women due to an underlying insecurity. I’d even go so far as to say that the negative emotions resulting from my relapse were because of this perceived ‘loss’ of power. I will now look at no fap as my default state and my reason for doing it henceforth will be because of the spiritual benefits that I believe it bestows upon me, rather than any megalomaniacal fantasy.
(a and b are interconnected. A “two birds in one stone” scenario if you will)
Theme of the day: Fall from grace and picking myself back up again. The fictional character Arnau Estanyol from the spanish show set in 14th century Barcelona, “La Catedral del Mar” helped me forgive myself for my failure today.
It is insane to me how much growth/expansion you can experience in a short amount of time. We’ve been practicing the HPP release for only a week and yet I’ve managed to deeply address topics that I only recently realized I’d been ignoring/unaware of for years. For this last entry, I chose to release the last three topics on my list for an even thirty full releases throughout the week. That said, at this point I could see myself able to do thirty within a day or two without hassle.
The three topics pertained to past addictions, jealousy, and the oscillation between ego trips and insecurity.
I woke up this morning a bit groggy since I did not gotten as much quality sleep as I would’ve liked. That said, practicing HPPv2 this morning energized me and completed my understanding of HPPv1.
When I started the releases, I felt hopefully optimistic. I have already overcome my main past addictions so releasing the last remnants was deeply satisfying, leaving me feeling brighter, lighter, and accomplished. The last topic – bouncing between self-gratifying ego and insecurity – was the hardest to complete today but bringing love and unconditional acceptance to the feeling was like second nature.
I feel incredibly happy at the moment, and I am excited to continue with the next phase of this process throughout the week. It is clear as day how HPPv1 has set up the foundation for all that’s coming next.
In the Session 2 zoom meeting Angel said version HPP 2 … the HPP 1 journal no longer applies. Today and tomorrow is practising what we’ve learned today.
How many topics did you release today?
I worked on 4 topics today and also worked on previous topics I thought needed more work.
How did you feel before the process?
I was eager to start the exercise and thought the new topics did not need much clearing.
How did you feel after the session?
During the session I felt some thing come unstuck in my solar plexus chakra. The feelings of I am sorry, I love you and gratitude are very intense through out my releases. My body starts to get extremely hot and I start to sweat a bit. Overall, I am feeling lighter and other feelings, such as fear and anger seem to be very much diminished. I am not losing my cool and seem to remain at a steady state through out the day.
Five and still processing the big fish from yesterday.
a financial challenge
group of friends, that I’ve been avoiding
depressive phase, when my favorite roommate moved out
the miserable time I had, when I worked part-time in a call-center
the big topic from yesterday
How did you feel before the session?
Slightly positive, still a slight energy blockage around the head.
How did you feel after the session?
Energy blockage nearly gone, deeply relaxed and happy.
Did you experience deep sense of relief or big emotional releases? Is the process getting easier, if so how?
No big relief, some grudges came up, when thinking about specific people. Getting even faster with the process, but still have to interrupt, what I’m doing, to achieve a complete release.
Anything else you wish to add.
This week has been amazing for me. Seven days ago I was feeling lost and constantly drifting into apathy. Practicing HPP changed me.
It brought light & hippieness back into my life. I thank you from the bottom of my heart @anon22855873 for the amazing work you have done so far!
Before the session I had very bad back and neck pain to the point of feeling very stiff. Looking up at the top shelf where I work was very painful. Taking care of it now but the pain was just bad.
That said, the topic was another big childhood related issue for me so I was ready to take of it. Despite the back pain, it did feel good going through the cycles. The inner voice was back again as encouragement. The process was very easy this time around as though it already knew when to move on to the next phase of the cycle without me to guide it along. I had a lot of pressure in the head, throat and heart per usual and also heard a somewhat loud sound in my right ear as I was focusing.
Once again, I felt the release float up to the head throughout the cycles and felt the pressure disappear like it was never there. I always find that amazing since it still seems illogical to me, despite the results.
Outside of the back pain, I feel pretty good afterwards. Felt as light as a feather after everything was said and done.
Still have a long list of issues that I need to address, but I feel much more confident that I can clear them out now vs. the start of the week. The process works that well.
No. I’m actually practising, solely bringing up the I love you feeling outside the HPP framework (as we’re supposed to throughout the day and at the end of the day).
So yeah, what I’m doing is, thinking of a loving memory and trying to get the feel of it. The problem is that the initial feel is so very subtle that even when I focus, it doesn’t seem to intensify as much (don’t know why I’m having problems now when I could easily bring it up during the session).
This itself is what I have trouble with and wanna get better and faster at. Any tips for this specifically?
The negative emotions, I have no problem feeling and even vibrating them.
The current goal: to be able to bring up love that is both quick AND strong enough to collapse any negative emotion
as the whole point to this session is for you to acquire a sense of independence.
The comment part is EXTREMELY important to get the ego out the way…