Isn’t a friend someone who is with you when “Fri ends”?
Kidding aside, friends are like reflections of different aspects of ourselves.
“Hey, You like that too?”
“Man, I wish I was like you.”
“Oh come on, don’t do that.”
“Don’t give up, I got your back.”
“Yeah, that dude was really mean.”
“Come on, you’ve got to like this too.”
“Wanna check out that movie with me?”
So I’ve thought about this topic again for an hour tonight (after looping trauma release). The truth in my opinion is that the concept that we think of as ‘friendship’ isn’t the norm. It’s a fairytale.
What society has conditioned us to refer to ‘friends’ are merely alliances that grant you a mutual benefit. It’s why most people only stay ‘friends’ for as long as you are needed or are around them. I have personally experienced this with moving towns and countries. The ‘friends’ there, simply forget you. It’s harsh but I’m afraid it is the truth buddy. We seem to be in the minority (those of us who think of friendship as unconditional love towards another person).
In my experience, the only people who will ever love you, are your parents (if you are lucky enough to have good responsible ones). The rest are a toxic fake bunch who will take advantage of your good heart and dispose of you. Unfortunately the nature of humanity has become more apparent with me working in a sector that is supposed to help humans (healthcare). Ironic isn’t it? Humans are disgusting.
There is no shortcut to loving yourself. The sooner you learn to do that, the better. I will carry on offering my friendship to people who come my way, in case I come across the rare people (like you and me) who do value such connections. But like I said, it’s best to learn to love yourself and build a stronger bond with your parents to stay sane.
Edit: I apologise for the somewhat emotive language. This was right before I burst into tears for the first time in 7 years (haven’t cried since I was 15). It seems the trauma release had brought out long suppressed feelings of anger and hatred towards a lot of people who I feel have wronged me/let me down. Although I still maintain that there is truth in what I said.
Having said that, I am hopeful that there are more of us out there who truly believe in the fairytale ideal of friendship. So err yeah.
Liked some parts of your post, such as:
I hope and believe that you will. I can’t say the opposite, since 2 friends of mine have proven it to me, despite my past bitterness regarding friendships. These 2 friends have “fought” for me, even moved some mountains for me… without me knowing it (I had found it out later on, when other people told me about). I can’t say that I have done the same for them yet, I don’t think so. I’m even the kind to still take my distance (too much) from them, sometimes.
But I don’t have any doubt about their intentions anymore. Absolutely not. And what’s this, if not a blessing? May you be blessed with the same feeling someday.
Saw your edit:
I don’t give a dime about opposite views on this: crying is an act of self-love, not to mention the physical benefits that as a doc, you know better than me.
So: 
I hope so too. Gosh, I didn’t know I was carrying those feelings deep inside. Wonder how long they’ve been around for.
I suppose the best thing to do is to learn to self love (god, I’m cringing as I’m writing this). So that you can be a better friend I suppose.
Just these past few years, I’ve attracted a lot of toxic people. Wondering now if these hidden feelings were responsible for that.
Haven’t been able to do that for 7 years. I’m starting to wonder if my loss of concentration, insomnia (well either too much or too little sleep), fatigue, numbing of my emotions and depression (yes I said it) are a result of not being able to cry. You’re the psychologist here, you would know about coping and compensatory mechanisms a lot better than me lol.
Wuuuu we shall discuss these by pm, because… you know :p
Yes, same goes for any other nasty and toxic stuff that we attract (not only people): these party-breakers are fed by our leakages, etc. as you know.
Learning to love ourselves is the best weapon for sure. Loving our totality, including our darker sides. Fully acknowledging them before being able to move on to something else (no need to burn the steps). I already told you in past posts: you have this ability, way more than other people who unfortunately try to sweep their ugly sides under the carpet. Or ugly stuff in general.
We get some shitty advice from people who have no idea about our job, like “you shouldn’t use sad (?!!) music in therapy with people who are already sad, it ain’t no good, it will make them feel worse” and blabla lmao. How are you supposed to make switch people to more positive and constructive stuff, if you first don’t accompany them in what they are currently experiencing? Same principle rules for many other aspects in our lives, “n’en déplaise à certains” (don’t know how to say this in English lol).
Anyway. You’re in good hands with Trauma Release bro. We’re also here for you.
Just google translated it haha. Apparently it means with all due respect in english!
Thank you. That means a lot.
I like the politeness of google translate 
It has made me ashamed… almost :p
There were definitely some situations that made me go “wow, I can’t believe they can do that and sleep well at night”, especially in the geriatric wards. But then again, there are a couple of beautiful moments I’ve seen that restore my faith in humanity. There are bad and good people. It’s just that the bad ones tend to stand out more, and we overlook the basic goodness of people. It’s kind of like how we often take for granted the good things people do for us, but remember a grudge the moment someone does something to do, which can last for years.
Sacrificing sleep literally leads to permanent brain damage, according to a sleep physician friend I have here. Over time, it accumulates and you never really recover. May I suggest the brain regeneration field looped daily? I don’t think people realise how much the brain is involved in emotions.
It’s funny because even laughing is a way of releasing nervous tension. Humour is a shock to the system. So is crying. I always wondered what the biological basis of shedding tears was to an organism, because you see animals like chimpanzees cry as well. I’m sure it does more than wet the eyeballs. My point is, crying is perfectly okay. You’re all good mate.
Thanks man. Yeah I will consider playing brain regeneration. Thankfully I haven’t sacrificed too many hours of sleep over the years.
There is a lot of depth an meaning behind your words and I appreciate that you shared them with us.
I will take some time to come up with an appropriate answer.
Sure thing man.
I have stated my view on judgement and our role as human beings in a society in another topic, which I am just going to quote here
This is where I am at right now. I view the actions of people that hurt me as one of infinite potentials, and I don’t mean this in a denying, self-delusional way just to make me feel better.
What I have come to observe is that there tends to be a form of loneliness in people like us who dive into spirituality. The loneliness to know that other people don’t really understand and probably never will. (Except this story with the empathy-orgy-cinema after your death is true)
When I was sick with Corona these past few weeks, there were people who told me that I have gone nuts, because I refused to take medicine and said that I would deal with it on my own.
There are other people, relatives of my friends and colleagues who got infected and suffer and don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to reach out and show them what we do here, but the other part of me knows they wont listen. In the worst case they will tell others I have gone nuts and then people would start to treat me different from before and that would be unbearable.
The worst part of my existence as a subliminal creator is to watch people suffer and not being able to reach out to them. Sapien probably experienced the same.
Imagine what people would think of him if he told them what he was doing.
And I think this is the same for everyone on the spiritual path. Sometimes I really think Jesus, or Jeshua if you prefer, was one of the loneliest people. I can only assume that his biggest frustration was that he was trying to show people that the power lies within them and they just wont listen.
There is deep suffering in this spiritual loneliness. Maybe it is this suffering that keeps us seeking the answers.
To make a full circle to this topic; I don’t think I am someone special. I don’t think I am part of an elite who are the only ones who feel this way. I think everyone does, but most people are just very good at drowning this suffering and numbing it out.
Look at all the best-sellers in spiritual literature.
Neale Donald Walsch. Eckhart Tolle. Cafe at the end of the world.
The message is the same in all these books and people absolutely love it and buy them in the millions.
It is because these books and stories verbalize something that their soul wants them to know, but they can’t hear the voice anymore.
We act “tough”. We have learned in school that we are better than someonee when we point out their mistakes and publicly humiliate them. And it works, somehow. And it has gotten us cold.
Someone who does bad to someone else suffers along with their victim because their soul can’t recognize itself in their deeds and being.
In the end, all we ever want is happiness, freedom and peace.
The sooner we recognize this, the sooner we can let go off of this weird weird delusions and come back together.
100% agree with all of this. I just ended up drawing a different conclusion. Can’t save all of them and it is too painful to even try. Some people will even drag you down with them in their attempt to feel like they’re not alone in their problems. And that’s why I turned inward. I still maintain a “help people who come my way” policy but I’m not actively seeking out helping others anymore. Just typing this is painful enough haha.
Plus if you keep trying to help people who are toxic to you, you risk developing more feelings of hatred. And thoughts about harming them for what they did to you. You risk becoming a bitter man, blaming the world for being so unfair. This is another reason why I decided to turn inward.
It’s funny how I’m both such an optimist and a pessimist. Utterly contradictory. I always tend to retain a little bit of hope that keeps me going (and trying) though.
Maybe a solution for this is Neville Goddard’s idea of “Everyone is you pushed out”.
I don’t know if you heard of it, but it isn’t as simple as it sounds.
It actually does take practice to grasp and to use, especially to let go of judgement.
Basically Neville Goddard is saying that our judgement of people holds them into place and that their behaviour is a manifestation of ours.
So we imagine people being a way we want them to be and let go.
I have tried this a few times and it was actually successful.
One time was with a fella who was struggling, and the other instance was a friend of mine whose mother was a bit uhh not-so-kind. In both cases it took a while, probably about half a year, but both of them significantly moved closer to what I had imagined for them.
Just an idea to try out, since we are conscious creators here.
I must say though there are instances where I think “I don’t want to bother changing this person’s attitude. If they can’t see themselves why it is wrong, it is not worth it”
So there is a little part of us that wants to be miserable. So I too still got work to do in this department.
I agree with this as well. In fact I remember not liking this particular doctor (I was in a bad mood myself that day). The next day, I just decided to be happy and be as friendly with her as possible and she turned out to be a really nice person!
I suppose there’s gotta be a balance.
Got this in my recommended, haven’t watched it yet.
JP got some great advice, maybe it is valuable for someone
Someone who is happy to see you happy. Who is never happy to see you in pain.
After talking with you about revision I chose to use it again and I always love it to prove right what Neville Goddard taught so many years ago. I talked in another thread about how I healed myself from Corona using the Revision technique, so I will not go into that. I used Revision again on a few relationships and it worked immediately. I absolutely love this technique and its indications.
My relationships are full of fun, respect and joy again and this is exactly what I intended.
So good relationships are possible, we just have to choose it.
What I learned from my high school years(Last year of Highschool Still), A Real Friend is someone who tells you when you are wrong. Friends that always agree with you and always tell you’re right are just apprentices.