Idk when they started happening, but the thought pops up as soon as I see the person/s. It’s like the thoughts try to make a severe horrible thing out of something normal, like someone buzzing their hair turning that into a unnecessary thought. I think it’s some shadow type thing, the hidden thing because it feels like I argue with another “me” in my head.
Thank you for your kindness😊
This helps a lot, thanks for your advice Sorcery
Accept and observe those thoughts than- release them
Silent Mind NFT I would recommend 100%
The thing with thinking is try not to fight it, understand the mind is important
Now that I think about it, The cancer thing specifically started when I watched a show where one of the characters has cancer, and I was also very resistant/scared of hearing that word and the idea of it, it felt like the worst of evils. Something within me, I think trying to take advantage of me emotionally by holding me hostage with the threat of “creating” this horrible thing if I don’t comply to it. Because in all honesty it has no correlation to anything in my life thankfully.
The releasing part, that’s what I struggle with, how do I release, and how will I know that I’ve successfully “released”
As for the NFT, I’ll check it out, thanks
There are a few things that I see going on here. And that’s really good news, because it gives you a bunch of different avenues to approach this.
I get that you think this is a destructive and even almost evil thought, but when you really think about it, it’s not really neither destructive nor evil. I mean, if she really did have cancer, then we’d be calling this a factual thought, right?
And if she didn’t have cancer, then what are all the labels that we could apply that’s not “destructive” nor “evil”? (Take a moment to think about that now, before reading on. I’ll wait…
…Did you think about it? Excellent! Good for you.) Whilst you were thinking about it, I was thinking about it, too. Two of the labels that came to my mind were
So, one avenue that you can use to approach this situation is to be more discerning about the labels you’re using to describe your experience. Me, personally, I would choose labels which are true and which empower me and amplify what I’m doing right. (From what I see those labels from your post didn’t fulfill any of these criteria.) In the beginning, this choosing will take some awareness and decision on your part, but no more so than the awareness and decision that you used to learn any of the skills you now possess.
Let me make sure I’m understanding you correctly. Are you saying that you think that, because you think this thought, you’re going to give her cancer?
Because, as much as I believe that you are powerful creator (it’s there in your screen name, after all 
), you’re not that powerful. Unless you’re planning a spill of toxic waste or bombarding her with radiation, you can’t give her cancer.
Now, I get that you wouldn’t want to think it. It must feel uncomfortable for you when you think it, even before you judge yourself after thinking it.
But here’s the thing. It sounds like you’ve practiced yourself into a bit of habit. To me, habits are like playground slides. I don’t know if they had them when you were growing up; heck, I don’t even know if they still have them in my country now. But if you’re familiar with the playground slide, you might remember that as you climb the ladder to approach the slide part, even as you sat on the platform right before the slide part, all those places you still have some control.
But if you go just a smidge past the places where you still have some control, you’re off, sliding down the slide. Wheeeeee! IOW, at that point, when you’re sliding down the slide, there’s not much you can do about it. You just have to let gravity have its way with you until it brings you back to a place where you once again have your control.
And this is sort of what you’re describing. You start your story once you’re sliding down that slide and gravity has its hold on you, and where you don’t have much control.
Now, it’s all right that you’re starting your story there. That is part of the story, after all. But that’s the part of the story where you don’t have very much control (and, of course, you don’t need me to tell you that; I’m sure you’re well aware of that already).
But here’s the thing. Your story doesn’t start where you are starting it. Like my story about the slide, where we see the slide, where we decide to play on the slide, where we walk over to the slide, where we climb up the slide, where we seat our rumps on the slide and prepare ourselves to push off and let gravity give us that Wheeeeeeee! experience, there’s more to the beginning of your story about your thoughts. Now, you might not have been noticing that more-to-the-beginning of your story, but it’s there and you can start to notice it.
And as you notice more and more of the beginning of your story, you will also notice that there are places in your story where you have more control and where you have less control. And noticing those differences is key. Because if you try to make changes where you have no control (like in the story as you told it to us), your options are way, way limited.
But when you start to notice those parts of your beginning that you had been overlooking where you do have control, then you can start to come up with things you can play with so you don’t go Wheeeeee-ing down that slide until you want to.
If you’re like me, you learned how to do it with a slide. You can learn how to do that with this, too.
You lost me. “…ruin what?” Because you’re not giving her cancer, so you’re not ruining her in that way. So, what are you meaning?
Remember our chat (above) about “labels.” Look at the labels here and how you’re using your labels. Let me help you out some by highlighting the labels that I’m seeing:
“…make everything … twisted and perverted…”
So, think about these:
If you really considered those questions, you’ll see that there’s a whole lot of EVERYTHING that you’re really not twisting or perverting. And I don’t say this to make you wrong. I do say this to invite you to open your mind to new and different ways you’ve been looking at your world, including this experience, to see what else you hadn’t yet been noticing.
(Now, you’re just kicking yourself when you’re down. What benefit do you derive from that?)
I’ve found (and I wonder if your experience will be the same) that online forums are not the best place to do therapy, which is sort of what you’re asking us to do with you here.
Now, the good news is Cap’n has made, for us, a therapy field: My personal emotional and mental supporter, which you could use to discover the answers to these questions for you.
When you have your answers, I’m sure they’ll inspire you to certain other fields to help you work through your issues.
Now, the one thing that you’ve told me is that you are willing to beat yourself up. So, that leads me to suggest JAAJ’s Daily Self Love Stack 
and Self Love Transcendance to you.
OK, this here:
is you already (Yay!) doing that thing of starting your story at a different beginning. Notice how, when you start here, your original story changes.
IOW, this is no longer about you being destructive or almost evil, or ruining or making everything twisted and perverted. When you start your story from this new beginning of when you watched a show, this now becomes a story of
You know what? I watched a show (like almost everyone does) and this one show touched a personal nerve in me. I noticed that nerve being touched in me (Good for me!) at the time, but I didn’t (for whatever reason) do anything about that nerve that I noticed.
Fast forward to my encountering “her” and something about her inspired me to have my thought. My thought wasn’t about “her” and it wasn’t about twisting or perverting anything (despite what I may have told myself at the time). My thought was a reminder from my helpful mind, “Hey! You up there, Infinitecreators! You got this nerve that you really want to tend to. You didn’t tend to it at the time, so we’re gonna get your attention again now.–How about now?”
Isn’t that a very different story? With different meanings, different implications about who you are and different solutions for you?
I sometimes even curse people (in my head), without actually wanting/doing it; it’s more like a thought that just popps up, even against/addressing dear persons, you know, like sometimes you have a song popping in your head, like lyrics or something, it jusst passes through and you can’t control it?
Same thing, just with really Dark thoughts, that I never truly wish upon anyone and idk, let’s say I only have a few such thoughts daily…
But, maan, they are dark.
Ponr, ponr, emotional fields, hooponopono, autossugestions, chakra work, these keep my mind mostly clean.
Edit: @Infinitecreators Also Brain fields help me in multiple ways.
Is it schizophrenia?
Other disease?
I’ve been to neurologist and psychologist and they both said that I’m OK, but idk…
Intrusive thoughts…
Childhood trauma, bad memories or experiences, loss, grief, these sorts of things can mess up the mind.
very good video. Dont try to fix the issue while have destructive thoughts. also dont go on your phone to distract your thoughts because they come back once your trying to sleep
The reason I think this is because I had been afraid of “negative manifestations” caused by negative thinking, which was the feeling/fear of being powerless in my life, no control etc, especially against a “god” or “creator” that is millions of times more powerful than me and has the characteristics of a manipulator, this could possibly be my shadow self. Thinking back, I had a friend who was emotionally abusive and kinda fake, had some manipulative tendencies(gaslighting etc) I think that caused a thoughtform/ childhood “trauma” (I think that’s too strong of a word for me now in this case,I’ve matured past that) and he’s not like that anymore though so that’s good.
It’s relieving to hear this because, it grounds my mind in logic because sometimes I think my mind would float away too far from earth lol
I’ve unconsciously practiced the habit of using her as a trigger for the untrue, unwanted thoughts I’ve been thinking? Because I most definitely did not wake up and decide “you know what, I’m gonna put myself under emotional distress by thinking of horrible, untrue things in order to get a feeling of anxiousness within me!” Why am I practicing habits of thought that do not bring positivity into my mentality? My energy can be put into much more wonderful things.
In your analogy, sliding down the slide would be the thought triggering me? So how do I let “gravity take its course” in my situation?
So I’m unconsciously doing things or keeping habits of thought that lead to me “going down the slide” part of the thoughts that I don’t like.
So I can do some introspection and look at my belief system/dominant thoughts and habits, and change unconscious behaviors that no longer serve me?
Well now I know that my anxious triggering thinking isn’t what it seems to be, I meant that it ruined the image of her that I would like to see, which is a nice and healthy human being.
I think I chose those labels, because those words represented my absolute non consent and disagreement with the unwanted thinking, so that I make it very clear to myself that this is wrong, and I, myself with every fiber of my being do NOT want this, so those labels helped me discern what I don’t want in this situation.
Life itself, I guess. It’s what you make it. The flower of life, God, the trees, the animals, rivers, beaches, girlfriends, honest people.
Probably a lot more than I can think of.
It’s because some of those things, I don’t have a personal story about. I think it’s my self conception and the conception of the world that would/could be twisted or corrupted, putting something like sunglasses over my eyes, to filter certain things in and out of my awareness. And if certain things are in my awareness clear as day, how do I remove them? How do I remove them without giving them energy? Because I think “what you focus on grows” so focusing on unwanted perceptions would be counterintuitive based on my idea of how things work.
Yea, I didn’t exactly mean to ask for therapy, I was kind of just speculating in my post. It helped me come to some understanding.
Yes it does lol, it makes it much less personal because I know that the thoughts aren’t even “me” so it makes it easier to detach and replace.
Do you think journaling would be good for me? Because when I finished typing this it felt like I could breathe wayyy easier, I got so much off my chest.
This happens to me from time to time
@Infinitecreators I think we can clean all our components/parts, brother, I think anything can be fixed, upgraded, renewed, etc., but since we are such complex beings, it takes effort, discipline and time…
Everything you said here is true.
I can’t answer for WellBeing (as in instead of him/his answer), nor/or for your situation, but my answer wouold be to not let these intrusive thoughts bother you, just let them slide, they go away anyway, don’t consume your energy with any such thoughts.
At least, that’s what I learned.
So, reading from your posts and speaking from my own experience: I think the answer is to not focus on anything that you don’t desire (like these thoughts), by focusing on pleasant things, thoughts, experiences and bringing High Vibes, High Energy through Yoga or Spiritual Practices of Your Choice, Plus Experimenting With Fields (for me it’s PONR plus others, including Brain and all sorts of Emotional and Energy Fields which help A LOT) and doing/choosing whatever activity and experience helps you.
I’m ALMOST CLEAN 
, when it comes to Negativity, Bad/Intrusive Thoughts/Feelings, piece by piece, day by day, I actually am getting more in control of my own mind, body, energy, soul and choices (not just a wishful thinking, not just autossugestions, Although these can be and are quite good, quite powerful, as these sort of thoughts and formulas/formulae can change THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND/LAYERS)!
You Can Do This Brother, We All Can! 
It’s important to remember that having negative thoughts does not make you a bad person. Many people have similar experiences and it’s common to have thoughts that we don’t want or that don’t align with our values. One way to deal with these negative thoughts is to practice mindfulness.
This can help you distance yourself from the negative thoughts and reduce their impact.
You could:
Also, understand that there could be some pesky entity messing with you to get some of your energy. Ask yourself, are these thoughts actually yours, or are you being manipulated to think that? Then you give that thought energy, and that entity feeds off it… same thing with emotions (especially anger)
I highly recommend this and if it’s hard to quite the mind i also recommend you try this:
The goal is to have your mind go from 1 extreme to the opposite extreme after some time it’ll want to stop moving from extreme to extreme and just sit there in the middle where it doesn’t have to put itself through all the work.
Was there any case where something came out to be true? May be you have a gift of knowing what is wrong with someone’s health just looking at them?
No because these thoughts seem malicious and like they’re trying to get a reaction out of me, also that the thoughts in this particular also happen because she had her head shaved. I think it’s important to say that she’s also 1 yrs old so I’m sorry to anyone who was confused.
1 years old (can) have (or develop) cancer…
Anyway, there is only one solution (that I see/know): “change the channel” (on something useful or positive)/ignore those thoughts, wherever they come from.