i would like to leave a detailed answer, but some other time. You have received some good insight, but I would like to add: Forgiveness.
Really, forgive your past, forgive yourself, forgive the circumstances, forgive everything that you are… Forgive everything that you want to be.
I don’t recommend adding pure love fields for the moment, to be honest.
But I highly suggest 4 fields, 2 of them are free, and the other 2 are paid. If you are able to buy only one of them, that would be the Alchemical Blueprint of the Past
So my recommendation to you is to focus on forgiveness,
Two more things that come to mind now is-- see where this feeling of hatred resides in you and clear the energy in that place. Use the corresponding chakra audio, focus on it with Energy Blockage Removal… Listen to the Breathe of belly 
Actually, I highly recommend the above.
**Forgiveness and Release + Forgiveness Meditation… They are different to me.
**Guided Meditation of Full Potential - Sapien Medicine
**Breathe of the Belly + Become Whole + Tracking the energy and listening to the corresponding chakra audio (ie, Root and Sacral)
**Creation of the Universe (optional- highly recommended)
**Alchemical Blueprint of the Past (paid- highly recommended)
I almost forgot we have two powerful releases available on Youtube for alchemy and transformation of the mind and its past :)
Alchemical Revision of Inner Self Love
The Alchemical Revision of Trauma
And then it doesn’t hurt to go back a little bit :)
The Alchemical Revision of Childhood
It gets better :) and I hope it continues to get all the better for you.