JAAJ's Mystical Journal

Another lesson from Artemisia:

Ego fueled by force cannot win against purpose fueled by force.

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"Light up, light up
As if you have a choice"

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The Sun Healing and Development field is dragging me through a holistic and deep evaluation of “me”, my life, my childhood, my personality and my place in this world.
The process is hardcore, but also liberating and addictive AF.
It is addictive, but all the experienced crazy emotions and pains feel like a massive soul healing process where one feels more and more liberated afterwards each time.

The last 3 nights I have spend with Aphrodite and her sensual loving serenity.
Sometimes I can even smell her skin.

Upon reflecting about my past I suddenly realized that literally ALL the women with whom I have ever fell in love with in this incarnation look EXACTLY like Aphrodite in the NFT picture!

Was Aphrodite all this time THE template for my human partnership love pattern?

Was Aphrodite been guiding me this whole time?

And it is only now, so many years later, that I am recognizing an old beloved friend?

:heart:

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Isn’t self sabotage proof that we don’t have free will to our un/subconscious identity and programs?

That once the program or identity is installed, then behaviours and even unexpected events will repeatedly outpicture in our reality bubble, no matter what free will we believe we have…

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God/Source is absolute freedom.
Absolute freedom is only possible when free will exists.
With that, also the choice to self-sebotaging oneself exists.

Ultimate Source Consciousness is aware of everything and there is nothing “unconsicous” or “subconscious”.

Sometimes, parts (like “Higher Selves”) of the Source choose to voluntarily self-sabotage and limit themselves to enable certain experiences and trigger further growth.

When this happens, these parts of consciousness choose to take on “roles” and “identities”, which of course are not real but just masks in a game.

During some of these games (like e.g. the Earth Incarnational Game or even the whole physical Universe) those consciousness parts choose to play the game through a very narrow tunnel of perception a.k.a your “Waking Consciousness”, while the other parts of the whole identity/role are temporary made invisible (thus the experience of having a Subconscious Mind).

It becomes all “fully conscious” and of “full awareness” again when the game is finished everything is merged back into the Higher Self (or its Higher Self etc.).
The more consciousness is “merged back” into Source, the less “unconsciouss” stuff there is.

In a sense, it also never left the Source in the first place, since everything happens “now”. So this whole illusion game of roles and masks requires another illusion: the illusion of time and the illusion of “before” and “after”.

So while you are making a human experience with the role of “Muse” and while your awareness focus is fragmented into a Waking Consciousness and a Subconscious Mind (and some further parts), it can appear to your Waking Consciousness that you have no free will decision over the programs in your Subconscious Mind.
Now as mentioned, this is an illusion and the “higher you”, a.k.a. your Higher Self is aware of everything and has free will choice over everything.

What you as a human identity Waking Consciousness can do, is to do “Shadow Work” and “Making the Unconscious Conscious”, i.e. REMEMBER the other parts of your total self, and by this, regain the ability to freely choose what shall happen next through those parts as well.

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does that mean I am able to discover fields and use them to reprogram my subconscious mind it’s because my higher self guides me to discover it and allows me to use it?

will my higher self stop me from getting results from fields when he/she doesn’t like it?or maybe i misunderstood ?

And he could assume he goes back to the consciousness of his realisation immediately after.

Perhaps the 10-20 minutes of energetic consciousness drag or slow down in responding, is still of value to him?

Perhaps in his articulation he derives even deeper realisations and clarity.

Why not assume and decide it is the case.

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It is both. You are not really separated from your Higher Self. You are a part of it.

In general you have a “veto right” with your Higher Self with regards to everything that you have brought into your Waking Consciousness, i.e. with regards to everything that you have become aware of.

In most cases the Higher Self very rarely intervenes at all and only in cases to prevent you from making super huge mistakes that would jeopardize your incarnational plan.

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"You will own nothing and be happy."

This quote is usually used as a placeholder for a dystopian society as intended by the cabal, where people will be brainwashed into owning nothing, renting everything and simply be happily drugged delusional slaves.

But there is also a completely other side, a positive side, to this quote too.

What if you have come to love yourself so much, that you indeed, do not need to own much anymore in order to be happy and where your happiness does not come from drugs, dopamine and power games, but from the experience of freedom and deep intimate relationships?

This is exactly what is happening with me right now.
The more I love myself and the more I switch back to my natural template for this incarnation (via PU’s Sun Healing & Development field), the more I can identify with the above statement, but in the positive interpretation of it.

I am now getting rid of even more items that I don’t need anymore.
The more I get rid off, the more free I feel :raised_hands:

I am turning into a non-materialist capitalist.
I.e. I don’t need many material possessions to be happy.
But I am focussed on leveraging capital for maximum personal freedom and for enabling deep fullfilling experiences.

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On physical Earth, consciousness, which is genderless per its initial state, typically incarnates into male and female physical bodies throughout its physical journey.

While on physical Earth, males and females are faced with different challenges and different traumas.

Now looking at the suicide rates, males are 3 to 4 times as likely to commit suicide than females.

Which brings me to the following conclusions:

Either

a) The physical incarnation as a male is harder than an incarnation as a female – because societal conditioning, expectations, pressure and requirements are different for the genders

or

b) The female physical brain is better at managing emotional trauma

or

c) Both

Either way, one’s personal situation is what counts in the end.
The bigger the challenge, the harsher the growth process.

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Or they suffer more from the orion influences on gender dynamics

(Started diving into Matrix V)

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It is a great read. Be careful to not copy paste the author’s victim mentality and his struggle to integrate his own divine feminine side.

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His resentment torwards the female shows pretty strongly. Some of it makes sense, other parts are obviously unhealed wounds.

Also the notion that our final incarnation has to be homosexual in order to leave ?

Surely we might incarnate in all constellations, and any repressions must be dealt with, but homosexuality being an absolute requirement in the final to graduate?

Sounds to me like he received alot of abuse for being gay, which hasn´t been fully dealt with at the time of the writing.

Very good stuff, but truly requires a cautious mind.

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:100:

Yes, this. A big unhealed wound of his.

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Obviously, because of this, the author himself is not a Final Incarnation.
One cannot “leave” without also having integrated one’s own feminine side and experiences.
The author is still fragmented and rejecting parts of himself.

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When the Higher Self for the first joins the big matrix simulation game does it actually grow by creating incarnations into the astral and physical realms which are “blank paper” pieces of consciousness?

Does the Higher Self grows through creating new parts of itself that are then incarnated with into the game and as unique personalities?
And then afterwards, once the game is finished and the experiences are collected, the Higher Self is then extended and has grown by all the consciousness growth amount that these incarnations have experienced?

Does the Higher Self grow through the alchemical process of creating new parts of itself which then grow via incarnations in all their unique ways?

Before entering the game, the Higher Self had no concept of what it is to be an Arcturian on Arcturus or an stock broker on physical Earth or a painter on the astral realms. Through creating new pieces of consciousness from itself and sending them out into incarnations with various personality setups and into different levels and adventures, the Higher Self grows through all these collected experiences.

For the Higher Self, everything is just that: An Experience

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As I finished watching Brave New World and reflecting upon it, I realized why the dystopian society that is portrayed in the show is still much more appealing than our current society on physical earth.

The crazy thing about the society portrayed in this show is that it is actually much more social than human society in the 21st Century.
In our current society, it does not matter whether you live in the West or East or elsewhere, almost no one gives a shit about anyone else.
Everyone is out for themselves.
At best, you were born into a loving family and have a few real friends.
But outside of this, no one give a shit at all.

The society portrayed in the show actually places more value on human interaction than on materialism.

A part of growing spiritually is realizing that in the long-term, nothing matters more than your interactions with others (i.e. interactions between your consciousness fragment and other consciousness fragments, since there is actually nothing else there than consciousness and everything else is an illusion).
This is how compassion and love is created and manifested.

So if a fictional dystopia recognizes the value of human interaction more than our society and by this is actually better than real life, does it actually make it an utopia then?

Humanity may not survive if we don’t genetically re-adjust the bonding and oxytocin factor for a truly caring society.
This will not remove individuality and individual expression, but it will make sure that everyone cares about everyone.

But then also, this physical human game here is about developing compassion, while being materially and/or emotionally starved.
It is under the most dark circumstances, that the light that we develop starts to shine the brightest.

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What is the purpose of Ego Death?

They say, that losing one’s ego means losing one’s identity and all the subjectivity that comes with it.

But then, even with ego death, I am still a functioning unit of the whole?

I am still a unit.

I am just doing different tasks and executing different functions.

And someone else, a higher consciousness, makes the decisions for me and provides the guidance.

So what’s the point?

This feels like that when “dying ego deaths” one is not actually evolving, but rather going back to the state one has already been in before the individualization experience.

First the Source splits off parts of itself in order to experience individuality and “separation from the whole”.

Then at the very bottom, at maximum level of separation, the journey is to go back “upwards” and experience re-unification with everything.

So what is the point of “ego death” and “ego loss”?

So that one can experience being part of the whole while still being a separate “human unit”?

So at first, Source was whole and wanted to look down on separated pieces of itself.
And then, once those pieces were separated, it wanted to look back up to the whole from the point of view of those single pieces?

An endless back and forth?

And an up and down of the Source simply switching its perception?

From perceiving itself as a whole to perceiving itself in individualization and back to perceiving itself as a whole.

An endless cycle?

Another “eternity equation”?

Where the Sources experiences everything through indvidualized lenses while also at the same time experiences the whole?

So does it then really matter where me, you, we etc. are on that cycle?

Just recognizing this and then fully embrace the experience?
As in how the Source does it.

“Does it matter?”
– Keanu Reeves in “Man of Tai Chi”

“Fire walk with me.”

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The only thing that is preventing your compassion to shine out freely and for everyone, is the unhealed pain that you are still carrying with you.

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Unique Challenges

How do you know whether you actually have a hard life, a hard and challenging incarnation?

How do you know whether you have it hard or easy compared to others here?

Way too often the narrative of „I have such a difficult incarnation“ is simply the ego speaking and trying to justify its own world view.

To justify how „the world has wronged you“.

Which is the ego’s cover up operation to make you believe that outside circumstances are fully responsible for your misery.

A trick you play onto yourself to give away your power and responsibility, and to justify your past poor choices.

Of course, one can compare available objective data, like the country you were born in, your wealth blessings, your genes and looks, your health, your existing support network etc.

But how you react to it and how you actually utilize all of those cards given is highly subjective in the end. No one has the same cards given to them that you’ve been given. Or that you have chosen (if your remember so).

It is said, that the Higher Self would never expose you to an incarnation that would be „impossible“ for you.
But then also, some Higher Selves aim higher than others and some play it safer than others.
Everyone at their own pace.
Who is to judge except you by yourself?

The individual challenges are not really comparable since everyone is experiencing it through their own subjective emotional world.

Your Spirit Guides and Angels can see your level of vibration and your beliefs, but your subjective emotional experience of all of this is unique to you.

Which means, in the end, comparing your incarnation’s difficulty level to others is mostly a useless endeavour.

And in most cases this comparison will be hijacked by the ego to justify giving away your own responsibility.

„They had it easier than me because ABC.“
„Life treated my unfair compared to X.“
Etc.

These are all self-pitying excuses by the ego victim persona in order to not return back to your inherent divine power:

The power to manifest your own reality.

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