I feel like my truth changes every day 2 to 3 times.
With new understanding, new perspectives are constantly unlocked.
And the only way forward is to constantly keep abandoning old perspectives and assumptions.
That’s the only way to actually understand more and more, which I guess my Higher Self wants at all costs, because that’s an inherent part of me.
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With CC, Higher Self Connection, Outlook Retainer, Karma Crucible, etc. This is pretty normal.
There’s also Malleable Ego now which helps a lot.
You’re read on R. Monroe, you understand Loosh.
The negative-to-positive shifts are usually our HS’s way to nudge aspects of our power awake.
When a being is Aware, that brief moment of Anger, Wrath, Scorn, Hatred, Sadness, Disdain, etc. can act as a well of tremendous power when redirected to something positive. The key is awareness.
There is this guy called Robert Bruce who speaks about tactile/body awareness techniques vs visualizations. In practice, I found him to be correct. Developping and training in psychic abilities becomes much easier when you can “feel” your energy and astral bodies interact with other things than when you just plainly visualize it.
Those -negative- “feelings” are basically energy sent from upper realms down to you, to nudge you awake and shake things up, which is why so many people go through a DNotS or a PonR before a stark evolution in this “layer” happens. It’s a higher potency creative energy.
With the fields at a being’s disposal, one can speed up that evolution by a noticeable margin, until, returning to a concept you are aware of, one reaches “escape velocity”… which is more of a graduation ceremony.
Of course, this is just a truism based on currently available data, how “permanent/eternal” it actually is, remains to be seen.
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thx for spending much time typing many words and answering my questions JAAJ
I appreciate it. I know you’re very busy
yea i know 
just like what you said before
I bought ego diss+ in dec and other private project nft on this month
imma buy Karma Crucible,Tapasya of Savitur, Ascension-naut, Energetic Being
in next few months
i will definitely gonna buy C&C and listen it at least 30 mins+ per day like you said to me at pm
maybe this year or next year
cuz NFTs have limited copies
hope only good things happen before i buy C&C
(tbh the only problem is money 
i will buy it immediately after I have enough money.
don’t get me wrong I’m not asking you for money)
i can’t wait to see them 
glad to hear that
nice then cuz i don’t want to meet them at places like higher astral plane 
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reminds me bosses from Dark Souls & Bloodborne
When it comes to entropy and negentropy, mainstream science is still completely clueless.
It also does not matter whether entropy or negentropy wins in the end, because either way the system of the physical universe is gaining EXPERIENCE.
Scientists cannot quantify experience because it is conceptual and non-quantifyable.
Conceptual means it is also only graspable and understandable through consciousness.
Since scientists have no clue about consciousness and conceptual awareness, they are completely blind to the factor of experience.
But is the exactly this, the EXPERIENCE, why and what for this universe exists in the first place.
Some scientists try to look beyond the current dogma of entropy, like e.g. here, but they are still blind to the big picture and what actually matters: Consciousness and Experience.
There is nothing else to gain from this big game than experience.
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Your Energy goes where your Attention goes.
Literally.
It works like that:
You are not just a passive observer.
Your observation creates through attentive energy.
Perception is not passive.
Perception is an act of co-creation.
The moment something is touched by your consciousness through attention, it is also fed and supplied with more and more energy. Your energy.
As within, so without.
And vice versa.
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The time has come to merge Artemisia and Diana into one.
– Roman / Greek Goddess of the Hunt, Wild Animals, Fertility, and the Moon.
– Daughter of Jupiter / Zeus.
– Sister of Aphrodite.
Welcome home.
I am coming to believe that lot of „life’s problems“ here are really because of Gaia.
Question #1:
Has humanity „raped“ the planet with its technology, lifestyle and environmental impact?
I don’t think so.
Yes, humanity has negatively impacted other species on the planet, however that is all still within the framework of trying to survive against Gaia’s harsh setup.
Humanity is simply doing just the same thing that other physical life species here are also doing, nameley trying to survive and doing their best with all the cards that were given to them.
So while humanity has negatively impacted other physical life on Earth, I don’t think that this matters to Gaia in the first place or even matters at all. Why? Because see Question #2.
Additonally, Gaia went through many geological eras were conditions for physical life were by far worse than what humans have caused today. I am speaking of Millions of years of Ice Ages, Millions of years with super high toxic air and seas etc.
Nothing that we as humans have ever done comes anywhere close to what Gaia has already done countless times to herself or has experienced herself countless times.
Question #2:
Are we as modern humans simply not welcomed on Gaia?
Did the aliens made a mistake when they genetically upgraded the original primates to modern humans?
This may appear to be the case at first, especially with all this environmentalist shame and guilt-tripping, but I think that Gaia simply does not give a fuck and cares about any of this at all.
I think Gaia does not care about humans more or less than she cares about all the other physical organisms that are living on her.
She treats all other organisms with the same bloodbath mentality of constantly fighting for survival (fighting against each other, fighting for resources and fighting against Gaia’s climate setup).
Looping Conceptual Realizations I have finally understood why I can never idolize Gaia as a „nurturing Mother“, something that many folks in the spiritual circles do and why this idea of the “nurturing mother” never made sense to me and never felt right:
Gaia alone by herself is not able to sustain physical biological life.
She does not have enough feminine nurturing energy to sustain life with her inner warmth alone. Maybe it is enough for some bacteria and some worms who live in the soil, but not enough for advanced organisms.
That is the reason I never felt nurtured by her in the first place.
In reality I was always reaching out for the Sun, the true source of energy and life.
Gaia is not nurturing at all.
Neither to humans nor to the other species that live on her.
I was looking for grounding in female energy in the wrong place.
Gaia ain’t it.
Gaia is not „woman enough“ to have physical children on her own.
It is the Sun who is actually energetically paying for everything and making this experience of physical life possible here on Earth in the first place.
And I guess, my Higher Self wants to become a Sun by shimself too.
I don’t know about physical life on other planets, but to me, with Gaia, this feels to be the case here in our solar system.
And then maybe, since I don’t have a comparison with physical life on other planets, I am judging Gaia too harsh and she is actually doing her best and the real problem lies within the life-unfriendly physical laws of the physical universe?
Am I judging the pupil while I should be judging the school system instead?
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What if Gaia is actually like a vampire?
Instead of giving life, she actually takes life.
She takes it from the Sun, while in the meantime luring others in to stay on her “for the experience”?
A dialogue between an awaked Higher Self and Gaia?:
Too many get lured in by her false promises, the promises of her “feminine nurturing energy”, while the next dialogue makes it very clear that “Lestat” is only lured in because of his ego, his power hunger and desire to be “a king”:
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"I have a big gun
I took it from my Lord
Sick with Justice
I just wanna feel you
I’m your angel
Only a ring away
You make me violate you
No matter who you are
It’s all up to you
No one lives forever
Been burnt in the hell
By all those pigs out there
It’s always been hell
From when I was born
They make me violate them
No matter who they are
Get down on your knees
Get a good head on your shoulders
If it’s for your guys
Go to the end of the earth
Do what you think
Give it with dedication
I’ll put out your misery
Have no prayer
So, I keep the gun with me
For my safety
I’ll do it with no sweat
They mean business
No time for sissy pig
Queen of ocean
Sing “the Volga” to you
No need to think about it
You do it or you die
Those aren’t tears
Don’t let it trick on you
I am hard as steel
Get out of my way
Pay back all at once
Suck away the tender part
You made a mess
For Christ sake, this rotten world
Shit out of luck
Go with my vision
Light up the fire
Right on the power
Weapon… I have it all
Get down on your knees
Get a good head on your shoulders
If it’s for your guys
Go to the end of the earth
Do what you think
Give it with dedication
I’ll put out your misery
You made a mess
For Christ sake, this rotten world
Shit out of luck
Go with my vision
Light up the fire
Right on the power
Weapon… I have it all"
For a long time I have been at a point where I simply want to go back in time and fully take care 24/7 of all my younger self’s needs and help in all the necessary ways and take away the experienced pain.
It is like being a parent watching their children going through sickness and the same time knowing that regardless of how much you solace and comfort them, they are still fully painfully experiencing the sickness from their point of view.
And it feels like, it does not matter whether I do so or not, because even if I am there for my younger self, I cannot unlearn and pretend that this younger self has never went through all the negative things.
Which makes me wonder, how I can ever find solace and peace, knowing that regardless of how much I am there for my younger self, it still had to go through all those negative experiences?
Rationalizing or conceptually understanding in my mind that “it was all worth it and part of the learning journey” is not really helping.
I cannot pretend that the experiences that happened with my younger self never happened, nor seem I able to provide enough help to lessen the experienced pain of this younger self. It is a dillemma, I don’t have a solution for yet.
I wonder how the Source solves this dillemma?
Knowing that parts of it are making negative experiences but at same time fully integrating this experienced pain as part of the whole process?
How does the Source really integrate its own experienced pain without telling itself a bullshit story of “how it is all a necessary part of the journey etc.”?
Mental and conscious acceptance is definitely not a real solution for this, because there is still a place in space-time where this pain experience is stored as emotional energy as well as an experience.
Just because space-time and energy are illusions and all is healed in the end, does not mean that the experience is suddenly deleted from the whole of the Source or from the data base of my Higher Self – it is still part of the whole collected experience.
“Acceptance” is not a solution because “acceptance” is just a change of perspective.
While a new perspective may help in the short term, when you are looking for becoming as whole as the source, acceptance is not enough.
Acceptance is not solution enough.
Just the first step of many.
What are the other steps?
Just by accepting something does not mean that those experiences are suddenly deleted from the whole collected experience of the Source.
It is a superficial solution, not a final integration or solution.
One can accept everything that exists, but it does not mean or remove certain parts of existence from the existence itself.
Maybe the solution from the Source’s point of view is in that the positive experiences make the most experiences and by far outweight the negative experiences?
Like in a way being happy and blissfull in 1000000 moments and only be unhappy in 1 moment?
Maybe the solution is really in simply having the right ratio of negative to positive experiences?
It seems for now that I can never find peace in knowing what my younger self/selves went through and it feels like I can project my compassion and my love to my younger self 24/7 and it is a never ending process because my younger self was not able to feel this compassion and love back then.
Is that what the Source wants?
Me learning to project my compassion and my love to my younger self for eternity and until the end of days?
This is painfull AF.
How does the parent learn to not feel the pain of their children?
It feels like an impossible task, if you have compassion.
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The more minimalist I become, the less physical items I own and actually need (!), the more I understand how souls are totally happy existing in the Higher Astral Realms.
Items are tools.
When their function is no longer needed, the item is no longer needed.
A lot of items I owned in the past have gotten replaced by fields and other esoteric tech and solutions.
But also, the more I advance spiritually and realize what I don’t need anymore, the more free I become.
And also also, the more I internalize that I am eternal being and that this physical incarnation is just a temporary station, the less I am holding on to things (for the “survival” and for the “what ifs”) and the more I more focussing on the state of being and on the experiences (i.e. what I am actually going to keep forever).
I can now totally understand how souls can be happy, fulfilled and entertained (!) on those higher realms. There is no more need to hold on to any of those things that we cling on to on physical Earth or that people surround themselves with on the Middle Astral Planes…
Who needs furniture when you don’t have a body by gravity?
Who needs a chair to sit down when you never need to sit down?
Who needs a couch when you are never tired and never require to lay down?
Who needs a bed when you can make love with others by simply floating inside each other and merging together?
Who needs kitchen items when you never need to cook and never have to eat? When you can simply manifest food in front of you and absorb it and its taste?
Who needs a library of books when you can download any piece of knowledge, experience etc. from some cosmic telepathic internet or your from your Higher Self or from your advanced Beings friends?
Who needs a computer to play games, when you can teleport yourself into any real virtual reality and be part of that game with all your senses?
Who needs decoration items because you are already surrounded by pure beauty? The only reason we have decoration items in our homes on physical Earth because we have the psychological need to decorate a mundane grey environment into something more pleasant.
"Oscail mo shúile
Nìos mò èist è sin
Ar an tsáile snámha"
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The people who are familiar with the Black Pill know that in the Black Pill community the people in there fanatically believe that “attraction with the opposite sex comes 100% from one’s physical looks”.
For a long time I have known that this is not true at all and just another ideology matrix trap that many fall into and only few get out and look further. It is a materialist mind trap and most people who are materialists never get out of it because materialism does not allow them to look beyond materialistic factors.
The Black Pill community is no better than the incel or any other victim mindset / nihilisism / loser / defeatism mindset community. It is just another pseudo “harsh truth, deal with it” toxic mind trap. Only those who listen to their heart and their intuition, that “there must be more out there” actually make it out without succuming to it. It is one of the most dangerous traps materialists can fall into.
And even those inside of this community who are „doing their best“ to improve their physical looks, are still trapped within this ideology and ignore other absolute key attraction factors like for example being trauma-free, like being high self esteem, like having a lot of sexual energy, like having a clean energy system, like having clean strong chakras, like having clean strong meridians etc.
Me knowing that there are far more powerful attraction factors at play with regards to attraction, and looks and height being only a tiny factor and not the whole formula, for a long time was assuming that women only love me for my sexual energy instead.
I had the false belief that „okay, looks don’t matter much as long as one is not a fat sweaty pig, and my sexual energy and aura are far more important, so does this mean that women are only vampiristic predators who only love me for my sexual energy and not for my true inner self and personality?“.
In the last weeks, the more I have worked and experimented with my aura as a carrier and transfer of subconscious information onto others, the more I have come to realize that my aura and the sexual energy it is based on are actually carriers of my personality. They are literally carrying and radiating my personal information outwards.
This is a liberating realization, because now I can build up sexual energy as a means of radiating out my true inner self and not fear that others are only after my sexual energy as a superficial energy source.
I experienced that many women only love me when I am high on sexual energy and falsely assumed that they are only after that sexual energy and not after the “true me”.
I was blind and not realizing that the attraction they feel is not necessarily and solely coming from the amount of sexual energy that I have, but from what information this sexual energy is carrying with it and radiating outwards through my aura.
Which means that they actually love my „personality setup“ (my „information“), and not just the sexual energy / the life force energy that I have accumulated in my energy body.
The aura is never just „neutral energy“ but always carries the information of one’s whole personality and belief system, which others subconsciously pick up and download and react to. So the stronger the aura, the easier it is for others to pick up on your information.
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Yeah, I can’t imagine holding the belief that looks are what make someone attracted to you. There’s so much more depth to people than that. A million other layers that you are subconsciously aware of whether one realizes it or not. It’s quite amazing actually - the best looking people based on societies standards I’ll find myself completely repelled by, simply by knowing what there is to know about them
On an energetic level where you need no words or explanation. I think it’s why I’ve always loved people watching - there’s just so much to “see” when it comes to people.
I have never heard of the black pill community, but as everything in life, i suppose it acts as an echo
Chamber and mirror of the conciousness of all who engage with it.
🩵 🪞
Hope you have a nice rest of the weekend
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Thank you, I hope you have a nice weekend as well 
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The best scene in the whole Game of Thrones show (watch first, read below afterwards, also spoilers of course):
The Revelation
She didn’t say, “I am Arya Stark and I am going home.”
She said “A girl is Arya Stark and I am going home”.
Which means that she has accepted that she is a noone now and as a noone she can choose to be whoever she wants.
And the very first character and role she chooses to be is „Arya Stark of Winterfell“.
Which means she is finally playing her intended incarnational role.
Not by being forced to it or by being a victim of circumstances.
But by her own free choice.
Which means she has integrated the intention of her Higher Self and at the same time has become more of her Higher Self too.
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