Self sabotage is proof that free will exists.
If you’d had no free will, you would simply be a bot of your Higher Self, executing preprogrammed tasks 24/7 without questions anything or without the ability to veto.
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Not taking the world serious.
While the world throws everything at you so that you take it serious.
The challenge is exactly in that – keeping the childlike wonder for as long as possible while being here and without getting corrupted by „adult seriousness“ and losing the spark in your heart.
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Ultraviolet: “So, what would happen if one were to fail any of these tests?”
Medical Tech: “Nothing good. Please remove all articles of clothing and proceed into the scanner.”
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Man, You Got Some Dope Images.
Edit: (I haven’t read this whole thread, maybe someday; anyway, ) I Love This Quote:
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Issues with Gaia
In the past going out into nature would charge me up.
Today I know that this is only the case because I myself was very low vibrational and my vibration was below than the average vibration of Gaia.
Since raising my vibration with the fields here over the last 3 years, going out in nature has become vibrationally draining for me in most cases.
When being out in nature, I always feel like low vibrational Chi is added to me while at same time high vibrational Chi is being drained from me because this seems to be the nature of the Earth: It cannot sustain life by itself.
Life here only exists because the Sun constantly provides the energy.
The more “Life” I become myself, the more Gaia is trying to take from me.
This planet is an energy vampire.
There are many other issues too.
I, as incarnated person, have no respect for someone who wants to kill my physical body, who doesn’t care about me and who drains me.
This is a natural self defense mechanism against being abused and there is nothing wrong with me for not wanting to particpate in this.
Let’s face it:
No human, animal or plant on this planet would survive without the energy from the Sun and most humans would not survive without human-made technology.
Gaia is not feeding or sustaining anyone on her own.
All those negentropic life processes and biochemical reactions are only possible because the Sun provides the energy.
Gaia only takes.
Gaia by itself does not care about the beings living on her, this is not only true for humans but also for animal and plant life. They constantly get devastated and killed off by natural disasters again and again.
Respecting someone who constantly wants to kill you and who says into your face on a daily basis that “you are not welcome here” would be like having a Stockholm Syndrome.
Most of those “Lightworkers” and spiritual people cannot see this, but I do and I know what is congruent with self love.
Praising your abuser has nothing to do with self love.
That’s what I learned here while being on this planet.
Could it possibly be that I have become too high vibe for this planet and as a result of this this planet is draining me?
Versus when I am exposed to the Sun and to sun fields where I feel re-energized again…
When I am in nature most places are charging me up with Chi, but it is vibrationally draining because it is low vibrational Chi.
When I go to a forest or to a lake, there is for sure a lot of Chi and that Chi accumulates in my energy body, but it is Chi of low vibration, so it pulls me vibrationally down – as if this planet does not want me to ascend.
It makes sense mathematically as the average vibration of the planet is where it will pull most of the beings that live on it.
When in nature, yes I feel more grounded, but grounded to something that is of lower vibration than myself.
That’s why it feels like a swamp.
It feels like being pulled down again into the average low vibration of this planet.
I have to constantly wear the Ascension tag and listen to vibration increase fields to not get pullled back into this again.
When listening to any portal and location fields, it is never the nature, beach, forest etc. fields that I am choosing and being drawn to.
It is always the extraterestrial, the stars, the astral planes stuff that I am drawn to!
I now know why:
I don’t feel safe, grounded or uplifted with any of those places on Gaia.
So it is only natural for me to seek for places outside of Gaia when I try to find a place of peace, a sanctuary where I am not drained down but instead am uplifted.
I think that this whole New Age BS of “saving mother Gaia” is exactly the spiritual matrix trap that most fall into and then reincarnate or go on some type of “rescue mission”.
Most people are looking up to Gaia like a “healing mother”, while in reality she is a traumatized broken teenager who doesn’t give a fuck about the beings that live on her.
I understand why people tell themselves this story of “our mother Gaia”, because humans have a natural longing to be connected to something that they can call “home” and because they don’t know that there are other places and other options available.
So people start to praise their hostage taker.
A collective Stockholm Syndrome.
For a long time I was thinking what is wrong with my Root Chakra and why I feel so ungrounded, disconnected and unwelcomed on this planet.
I have used Root Chakra healing and Grounding fields for years, that is, until I discovered that my grounding happens upwards through the Crown Chakra (!) and not downwards through the Root Chakra and connecting to the planet (like it happens for most people).
I am literally “hanging here from the ceiling” so to say, through my Crown Chakra, and every time I try to connect myself downwards to Earth through my Root Chakra, my Crown Chakra pulls me back up again, as if it is saying that I am not allowed to ground myself into this swamp and have to stay “above water”.
The Star Being Experience field is one of my favorite grounding fields.
It lifts me up vibrationally.
The one that makes me feel good, feel uplifted and feel empowered again.
The one that keeps me above water for a longer period of time after playing it.
This is all my personal experience and just because certain things are not part of my soul mission, doesn’t mean that this is true for other people.
So our experiences and missions will differ heavily from each other. And with that, we all have our free will choices of whom we are going to respect and whom not.
Someone (in this case Gaia) can appear as a “nurtuting mother” to one and as “an abusive bitch” to another – depends really on the soul’s perspective and mission.
If your goal is to heal this planet, go ahead, you can do whatever you want.
I choose to not participate in this game and I also choose to not be abused.
Not all relationships are worth fighting for.
Gaia is not a piece of consciousness that is worth for me to dissolve my ego for or into.
I am fanboy of the Sun.
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The Sun Healing and Development field is dragging me through a holistic and deep evaluation of “me”, my life, my childhood, my personality and my place in this world.
The process is hardcore, but also liberating and addictive AF.
It is addictive, but all the experienced crazy emotions and pains feel like a massive soul healing process where one feels more and more liberated afterwards each time.
The last 3 nights I have spend with Aphrodite and her sensual loving serenity.
Sometimes I can even smell her skin.
Upon reflecting about my past I suddenly realized that literally ALL the women with whom I have ever fell in love with in this incarnation look EXACTLY like Aphrodite in the NFT picture!
Was Aphrodite all this time THE template for my human partnership love pattern?
Was Aphrodite been guiding me this whole time?
And it is only now, so many years later, that I am recognizing an old beloved friend?
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Isn’t self sabotage proof that we don’t have free will to our un/subconscious identity and programs?
That once the program or identity is installed, then behaviours and even unexpected events will repeatedly outpicture in our reality bubble, no matter what free will we believe we have…
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God/Source is absolute freedom.
Absolute freedom is only possible when free will exists.
With that, also the choice to self-sebotaging oneself exists.
Ultimate Source Consciousness is aware of everything and there is nothing “unconsicous” or “subconscious”.
Sometimes, parts (like “Higher Selves”) of the Source choose to voluntarily self-sabotage and limit themselves to enable certain experiences and trigger further growth.
When this happens, these parts of consciousness choose to take on “roles” and “identities”, which of course are not real but just masks in a game.
During some of these games (like e.g. the Earth Incarnational Game or even the whole physical Universe) those consciousness parts choose to play the game through a very narrow tunnel of perception a.k.a your “Waking Consciousness”, while the other parts of the whole identity/role are temporary made invisible (thus the experience of having a Subconscious Mind).
It becomes all “fully conscious” and of “full awareness” again when the game is finished everything is merged back into the Higher Self (or its Higher Self etc.).
The more consciousness is “merged back” into Source, the less “unconsciouss” stuff there is.
In a sense, it also never left the Source in the first place, since everything happens “now”. So this whole illusion game of roles and masks requires another illusion: the illusion of time and the illusion of “before” and “after”.
So while you are making a human experience with the role of “Muse” and while your awareness focus is fragmented into a Waking Consciousness and a Subconscious Mind (and some further parts), it can appear to your Waking Consciousness that you have no free will decision over the programs in your Subconscious Mind.
Now as mentioned, this is an illusion and the “higher you”, a.k.a. your Higher Self is aware of everything and has free will choice over everything.
What you as a human identity Waking Consciousness can do, is to do “Shadow Work” and “Making the Unconscious Conscious”, i.e. REMEMBER the other parts of your total self, and by this, regain the ability to freely choose what shall happen next through those parts as well.
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does that mean I am able to discover fields and use them to reprogram my subconscious mind it’s because my higher self guides me to discover it and allows me to use it?
will my higher self stop me from getting results from fields when he/she doesn’t like it?or maybe i misunderstood ?
And he could assume he goes back to the consciousness of his realisation immediately after.
Perhaps the 10-20 minutes of energetic consciousness drag or slow down in responding, is still of value to him?
Perhaps in his articulation he derives even deeper realisations and clarity.
Why not assume and decide it is the case.
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It is both. You are not really separated from your Higher Self. You are a part of it.
In general you have a “veto right” with your Higher Self with regards to everything that you have brought into your Waking Consciousness, i.e. with regards to everything that you have become aware of.
In most cases the Higher Self very rarely intervenes at all and only in cases to prevent you from making super huge mistakes that would jeopardize your incarnational plan.
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"You will own nothing and be happy."
This quote is usually used as a placeholder for a dystopian society as intended by the cabal, where people will be brainwashed into owning nothing, renting everything and simply be happily drugged delusional slaves.
But there is also a completely other side, a positive side, to this quote too.
What if you have come to love yourself so much, that you indeed, do not need to own much anymore in order to be happy and where your happiness does not come from drugs, dopamine and power games, but from the experience of freedom and deep intimate relationships?
This is exactly what is happening with me right now.
The more I love myself and the more I switch back to my natural template for this incarnation (via PU’s Sun Healing & Development field), the more I can identify with the above statement, but in the positive interpretation of it.
I am now getting rid of even more items that I don’t need anymore.
The more I get rid off, the more free I feel 
I am turning into a non-materialist capitalist.
I.e. I don’t need many material possessions to be happy.
But I am focussed on leveraging capital for maximum personal freedom and for enabling deep fullfilling experiences.
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On physical Earth, consciousness, which is genderless per its initial state, typically incarnates into male and female physical bodies throughout its physical journey.
While on physical Earth, males and females are faced with different challenges and different traumas.
Now looking at the suicide rates, males are 3 to 4 times as likely to commit suicide than females.
Which brings me to the following conclusions:
Either
a) The physical incarnation as a male is harder than an incarnation as a female – because societal conditioning, expectations, pressure and requirements are different for the genders
or
b) The female physical brain is better at managing emotional trauma
or
c) Both
Either way, one’s personal situation is what counts in the end.
The bigger the challenge, the harsher the growth process.
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Or they suffer more from the orion influences on gender dynamics
(Started diving into Matrix V)
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It is a great read. Be careful to not copy paste the author’s victim mentality and his struggle to integrate his own divine feminine side.
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His resentment torwards the female shows pretty strongly. Some of it makes sense, other parts are obviously unhealed wounds.
Also the notion that our final incarnation has to be homosexual in order to leave ?
Surely we might incarnate in all constellations, and any repressions must be dealt with, but homosexuality being an absolute requirement in the final to graduate?
Sounds to me like he received alot of abuse for being gay, which hasn´t been fully dealt with at the time of the writing.
Very good stuff, but truly requires a cautious mind.
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Yes, this. A big unhealed wound of his.
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