Need help to change - Anger - Suicidal ideation

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#1

Hi, I am seeking help for my anger issues that I have had my entire life.

A quick bit about me, im 26, sober for 1 year from drugs and alcohol but very angry, pessimistic and negative and have been dealing with lots of thoughts of suicide recently. I have been like this almost my entire life at least for as long as I can remember and for the past 5 or so years I have been trying very hard to change and while I have changed so much the anger always comes back first and fast followed by the other things after and I am so done with it. I have tried so many fields from different creators, a lot of fields give me great temporary fixes but the anger always comes back. I have a lot of paid fields from sapien that I am trying to use to help with this problem the main ones being
-mental emotional supporter
-plasma brain of youth (to help with depression/mental health)
-Aura/energy body repair
unpaid fields I have used that help for the time being
-unstoppable willpower
-The internal alchemal crucible
While I get some mild relief from these fields, as stated above the anger, depression, thoughts of hurting myself and others comes back strong and I feel as if I am on my last legs with things being very unstable these days.
It seems as if these fields help but them I am unable to actually act out and make a change, I am really desperate to no longer be this way, I am tired of hurting myself and the people i care about most (and people I don’t even know for that matter) I used to self harm in the past when I would drink and drug and that is no longer an option. I don’t want my anger to take me back to the drugs and alcohol but it seems like I am close.

If anyone has had previous similar experiences or can lend a suggestion in what fields I can use or how I can use the fields I have in a more effective way that would be fantastic.

thank you all so much :)

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#2

in b4…

Deep Brain Magnetic Stimulation: Testimonials

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#3

These fields might offer a more stable, effective help for your situation:

New Perspectives (Outlook Retrainer is the alternative if you cannot afford this)
Blueprint of Life
Inner Pillar of Power
PTSD Help

Make sure to interact with this field.

I feel like the fields I suggested above, as well as OM’s suggestions, would greatly help your life. They offer a more permanent effect and would be best fit for your case.

Try them and let us know how it goes :slightly_smiling_face:

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#4

Meditation man, that shit is the best mind calmer ever. Mindfulness meditation advice from Sammy was the best advice I ever had in my life.

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#5

Hi James.

Thank you for coming here to share this difficult thing with Us, but specially for seeking help and for not giving up.

Lets forget for a moment about what fields you have or what youve already tried.

Since right now at this point feeling at the bottom in a dark place and frustrated, the must important thing for you is to calm your mind, then help you feel like you are not alone because you arent. And then feel hope again but most important remind you that you still despite your thoughts, feelings and actions have a GOOD heart. And thats why you are here.

Once you kinda reset and clear those recurring thoughts then we can look for a steady strong approach to help you open a new path with better and nicer possibilities. Ok?

First what Om suggested. X 2

Then this x 2

Then x2 :

Then x 2

then x 2

And then loop this more times:

Take a nice bath if possible right now while listening to them.

Try to sleep.

And when you wake up repeat

And then later on

And then come back here and we tell u what to start next.

:heart::heart::heart::heart:

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#6

I would suggest HPP release session #1 by Angel. In this process, you will have to go through the process of releasing trauma/feelings by your own efforts and I think it will help you tremendously. Good luck!

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#7

When the suicide ideation hits hard: please use ego dissolution… TWICE. Then new perspectives. Crank up the volume of ego dissolution and if you have headphones, use them. Put yourself in child’s pose or sit on the physical ground just to help ground you- helps achieve the goal of dispersing the excess energy at the mind

Magnetic heart coherence helps lower the after effects of suicidal ideation (u know after the intensity of it passes/ urge/ yearn to plan). Makes me feel hugged

And know you are not alone :blue_heart: please. I care :slight_smile: Sending you lots of love & light & protective energy

Thank you

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#8

I just re read and saw you said thoughts of self harm/ others

Deinhabitor. The third one- straight up.
It saved me about a month back from probably making one of the gravest mistake of my life. I have no idea how, but I had the common sense to reach for my phone and crank up the volume (it’s a very high pitched sound so it sorta helps snap you out of that trance)

And if you have knives at home, please hide them or better yet throw them away-if it helps,I used to use plastic knives :)
And of course if you really enter a crisis, call 911.
I know that goes without saying but I cannot stress it enough.

If you don’t have the funds to purchase new perspective please message me. Thanks .

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#9

Hi James,
I’m sorry you’re having all these stuff
Besides the suggestions above, I think you could give The wisdom of the Dying a try
Life is beautiful, I think the Dying have a lot to tell you about it.
I hope you get better soon man! :two_hearts:

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#10

Honestly feel that a point of view from another angle is benificial.

I used to be very amgery (luckily I didn’t end up assaulting anyone, but the anger was rather unreasonable and didn’t make much sense either) and suicidal till I started detoxing. Metals specifically. Watch your diet too, some foods definitely trigger things from time to time. Like I would get depression within 30mins if I take certain enzymes :thinking: well you can guess toxicity if you consume any sulfur rich food (brocoli, garlic, etc) and you feel like crap afterwards (because sulfur would increase glutathione).

For the more adventurous (actually I advise against this), If you take parsley or cilantro (or other toxin mobilizers) and you just start to feel weird and different (usually crappy feelings like irritation, anger and depression) afterwards it is clear it’s linked to toxicity. Just note that your response could be delayed (normally I feel it the next day). Which can make it tricky, that’s why food elimination is a good idea.

Well the toxicity can explain why the anger can be so random. Unless there are persistent triggers (people/memories) in your environment, it might simply be what you’re consuming and not realising it.

Definitely deep brain. You can use outlook still even if you have new perspectives. Because new perspectives causes some numbing (SGB) if I use more than once a day, my stack is something like this - (night) deep brain x3, new perspectives x1, outlook x1 and (morning) outlook retrianer x1.

Increase your antioxidants, use whatever antioxidant fields you have. If you can afford, hydrogen field. Though word of caution, you’d likely feel even crappier starting out due to the detox. So, increase consumption of protective foods that contain a lot of vitamin C and also take fish oils. These will reduce detox symptoms. Far infrared field can help too. You can add in lymphatic effusion to aid detox too. But I’d go slow first and just use antioxidants. If you mobilise toxins without something to bind them you’re creating a worser situation.

There are also other probable situations like astrological influence. I’m quite sensitive to these changes, and you might be too. Nullify planetary effects helps.

Though for emotional detox I would highly recommend blueprint of life but it can be rather intense when it removes those erroneous preconceived ideas out of you.

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#11

hello @jamesvanderbeak

how are you feeling today? did you listen to any of our suggestions?

come talk to Us! :)

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#12

sorry, I haad a long day at work and am just getting a moment to rest now but I was able to use deep brain stimulation last night and it seemed to help quite a bit today. I will take a look at everything right now. thank you all so much for the help and suggestions. it means a lot :)

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#13

:)

:muscle::two_hearts: awesome!! Keep us posted

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#14

thank you for the reply and suggestion, at the moment I am using ptsd help and it helps quite a bit. I have outlook retainer but I think my brain is too damaged from everything for me to get the most out of the field. I don’t notice too much with it so thats why I am seeking help with other fields but I will totally give it another shot. I couldn’t find blueprint of life on gumroad and now I have the link to it and it sounds exactly what I am looking for, thank you so much. that is on the list of purchases for sure. I used deep brain stimulation and found relief for today, I feel much better thank you

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#15

You’re welcome @jamesvanderbeak
:pray: :dizzy:

Keep us updated :slightly_smiling_face:

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#16

thank you so much, I have new persectives and I will use ego dissolution before hand thats a wonderful idea. I am doing much better today, feeling much more grounded and calm

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#17

thank you so much for you detailed response, I will have to keep an eye out on triggers regarding my diet, I never thought of that. I think blueprint of life is what I will try when all else fails but I have been doing much better today :)

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#18

Meditate man it will help keep you calm and let the fields heal you

#19

Shamanic mind mix if you can cost it.
Meditation will help you a lot as @ Jagolo22 says, and also relaxation techniques.
Try to get things done, set goals and objectives, and try to start slowly using positive words, listen to classical music, etc.

#20

I want to type out a powerful mantra that also may be of help:

Ek oangkar sat gurprasad .

When I can’t meditate / go into that state bc I’m too much in this state, I just start saying that out loud until it’s the only thing my mind is allowed to focus on.

I am v sleepy rn but tmrw I will edit this and better explain :)