thank you.
in terms of more insights i’ll just lay it out for you.
over the past 2-3 months i don’t even know what happened life was going so well and since then it’s been a rollercoaster especially the last month and 1/2.
i accumulated so much debt so im financially fucked.
on top of that so many dumb financial mistakes to try to get my life in order and nothing has worked out, to the point where i borrowed 10k from my mom and haven’t been able to pay it back and now she’s on the verge of finding out im unable to pay it back.
in my social life i just feel lost, not like myself at all, and I can’t just hibernate i have responsibilities im expected to complete.
physically i just feel tired, fogged, weak.
my environment is a mess, im just dragging myself through life and every chance i get at rest i just waste it laying down, opting for cheap dopamine & sleeping.
spiritually i just feel like im battling, im a christian and man since i’ve gotten into these fields and sigils idk everything has taken a turn for the worse.
everytime i go away from God my life seems to get better but a sinful life is still destructive.
then when I try to walk in communion with God everything falls apart, it feels like i’m attacked from all angles, it feels like i can’t catch a break.
situation after situation nothing works out for me.
relationships down the gutter, mentally im not even there, physically feel weak, spiritually battling for my soul.
i’m fucked dude.
i usually always get out of ruts, i don’t avoid the challenges and even if they feel overwhelming i find a way to make it work.
i usually always have an optimistic mindset but man right now and recently all that is gone.
i feel like a shell of myself, just trying to maintain the social mask when im in public.
addiction doesn’t help either, i use to take adderall and i switched to vyvanse recently in hopes of a more calm approach to overcome adhd but thats been a nightmare, so i stopped taking it.
i dont know man im all over the place, and it doesn’t help that i work everyday so i dont really have time to myself to even think myself out of this rut.
so much pressure, so many things to fix. i dont know i feel like im on the verge of a crash out.
may God help me. I love God but i think i might have to just run away from Christianity, i cannot take on this battle.
rosechalice i saw your response aswell and i thank you, i can tell you have good energy, may you be blessed for all the good you put out <3
sorry if this response is all over the place guys, idk anymore.