Personal point of view and history of sex development:
have read about sex and figured out what is sex after seeing a picture in a book about sex for kids at age of 7. a couple of months after my mom after me asking all the time showed me porn. i found it gruesome (penis to mouth was a shock)…then hormones started rising i learned masturbation from boys from my village but was in constant pain to do it because of phymosis. then went to doctor, he made a ton of pain, than i could do sth with my thing.
For me since 7 years of age the interesting thing about sex was (as described in that book) was people that are screaming from pleasure (as a kid i could understand only screaming from pain)…aand my head was all over it then. What is that wholesome biig pleasure where u scream??? and not in pain…and since then my life has been a search for that ultimate scream of pleasure which i never had…my partners had it…i couldnt experience that (o well perhaps once twice for 30 Years)…i think deep inside karmic or not i am rejected the full pleasure of sex until i heal completely , or it is simply an ilusion that such a pleasure exists in the form…
I have had pleasure imagining the pleasure from other people (i.e. porn), people kissing and so on…but me and my body…i have never felt it as attractive as most, and most of the time as i realised lately i tried mimiking the behaviour of the group for such an exstend as to think that i miss ssex dearly and have an enormous urge,… if u ask me alll in the head folks. ive still to figue out what am i sexually and why do i do it, why do i need it…do i need it…but i do it slowly and dont try being a monk or to enforce me to do sth, just use sapien/ dream goodies and observe. And most of the passion/idea/urge/longing for my mesmerised eyes just isnt there. the desire isnot mine…so…thats that…
one more thing: now that i paticipated in the enery awakening couse, after learning the work of dr. virtual also i know i was attacked from a very early age perhaps 7-8. had dreams of creatures/men like that did something to my base chakra (feeling of extreme intrusion there and itching as somebody is playing down there in my sleep)…then at age of 14 had my first fibromialgia episode…from age 7 until 17 i had those same nightmares time and again…of course didnt believe them…was thinking the bad attitude of others to my person was my fault and was allways shy…allways feeling guilty for everything, allways trying to amend stuff…then the real attacks started after 30 years of age… and then i found and realised what sapien/dream was about and started taking back myself…
so i think i have now new to learn what actual sex/conection etc is about…for me the actual intercourse with a woman was not as heavenly pleasurable as discribed from all the folks arround me…
@SammyG perhaps the above also interesing for you…