HPPv2 Day 5
Did you do your cycles of Amygdala and Releasing? What did you experience?
I had an interesting day today.
I decided to take this course because I was aware of a lot of limiting beliefs that I really wanted to clear. Satori wasn’t actually my goal although I thought it would be great even though I’m not exactly sure what it is lol. It hasn’t even crossed my mind in the last couple of weeks, I’ve just been busy doing the work.
But yesterday I read Angel’s comments that he has chosen the first three people for Satori – and I wasn’t one of them lol. I was surprised that I felt quite triggered. My ego was telling me I needed to study the entries of the three selected so I could figure out what I needed to do/say haha. My heart was telling me I wanted it to be solely my own experience without any influences.
When I woke up this morning it was there. I could now label the real feeling behind my reaction - fear of failure. It felt big. It felt like a big chunk of coal in my stomach. I could see that it had influenced my life in many ways. As I thought about it, other fears started coming up – fear of not being good enough, fear of being a fraud, fear of success and on. And there I was just yesterday declaring that I’d cleared all my fears hahaha. Gotta love the cosmic sense of humour hey!
As I went about my morning I felt glad that I had a day off and decided that, whatever it took, I was going to clear those fears today. I envisaged probably spending hours doing so. I had some resistance to taking on such a big challenge so procrastinated somewhat. I did the candle exercise first to try and focus my mind and then I began playing Amygdala and bringing up the fears. First was the fear of failure which I collapsed in literally a couple of minutes. I was like, hang on, what just happened, I can’t find that fear anymore. Even though I’ve proven to myself over the last couple of weeks that this works, I could hardly believe it could be gone so fast. I moved onto the other fears with more coming up as well as some related issues. I collapsed everything all pretty easily. I felt the love growing over the session which took about an hour and a half. When there was no more to release I stopped and re-checked the fear of failure. It was just gone. I actually started crying – very unlike me. I’m not even exactly sure why, relief perhaps? I just sat there and cried on and off for the next half an hour or so. It’s hard to describe what I was feeling. Despite the tears, there was such a sense of joy, but joy from the deepest part of my soul. In that moment happiness seemed superficial. This was so much deeper than feeling happy. I felt serene and just sat there bathing in love.
It came to me that I don’t have to struggle any more, not just in this course, but in life. That I can just “be”. That I can do my best and that will be enough. Because I am Enough. And everything really is going to be ok, no matter what life might throw at me, no matter what it might look like from the outside. I have what is within me. And that is Enough.
I didn’t want to move. I felt like I could just sit there for the rest of the day basking in the love and tranquillity. I’m sure that “I am Enough” was one of my affirmations from back in the day but I never came remotely close to experiencing it. But I did so today. It has touched me deeply and I believe it has already changed my life.
Did you do your Candle Exercise? Is it getting easier?
I did 15 mins this morning but was a bit distracted by what I thought was going to be a long, difficult and probably painful session. Nevertheless I managed a few moments of real focus here and there and my mind was a lot calmer by the end.
I did another 10 minutes this evening which was a bit better with more moments of longer focus. I’ve definitely improved since Monday but I still have a lot of improving to do on this exercise so I’ll need lots more practice.
Did you run cycles on your Goal Releasing? What did you experience?
I ran another Goal Releasing cycle on Relationships. I was feeling pretty emotionally drained from earlier so only did about 15 minutes. A few things came up which I realised pretty quickly.
Did you end your tasks with giving yourself Love? Did you give yourself that feeling throughout the day? How do you feel overall?
Yes. I gave myself lots of love today. I sat on my couch for a long time just basking in love. I felt pretty full of love most of the day even without specifically giving it to myself.
Anything else you wish to add?
Where to begin? How do you put into words your gratitude to someone who has given you not just a new way of living but of being. Angel, your system is amazingly simple and mind blowingly effective. This method is like having our own personal kryptonite against negative feelings, event and traumas, large or small. As well as releasing feelings of lack underlying our wanting, hoping, dreaming. This is awesome beyond words.
Imagine a world where this is taught to children, where the last few minutes of school or work or before going to bed are spent releasing the events of the day? Imagine everyone living from a place of love. Our world would be wonderful.
Also untold gratitude to Dream and the team for not only creating this forum and allowing this to be possible, but also for all the incredible fields. I believe they’ve played a huge role in how far I’ve come in just the few short weeks that I’ve been here.
Thank you all so very much, from the bottom of my heart.