Its been 2 days playing this. What ive noticed so far:
Today my throat is quite sore lol and ive had weird dreams with people i know where i cant speak.
Ive always been (as an adult) one to voice what i want to say, opinionated even sometimes, however i would either feel terrified, or anxious, nervous or end up crying while “supposedly bravely” expressing myself.
Up to when i was 12/13 i was ALWAYS sick with Strep Throat, sore throat, fever etc i was a very shy, introverted child, whom would always do what was asked whether i wanted or not just being afraid of saying no.
As i grew up i turned rebellious and i would still not say No or give my opinion until it had built up and eventually came out already upset arguing and not letting others talk because i didnt want to be silenced once i had found the strength to stand up for myself and 2 because i considered in those moments of explosion that i had taken a lot already i didnt want to hear any excuses, so for me it was not an irrational reaction.
But of course that led me to turn into an adult that would continue repeating the same dynamic:
Not expressing myself right away when i was still calm > build frustration when the situation kept happening > building resentment > then explode and immediately close the communication channel and just “run away”
Some years back i started healing and working on that, its been a long journey, specially to heal the inner child/teen that was taken advantage of for so long because i couldnt say No. Ive had a very good progress in the last year, communication have greatly improved specially when expressing my different opinion, the wounded child has finally grown up, but there was still a lot of bagage looking for a door to be released.
Thats why i was eager for this audio, because in every single situation where i could feel danger or fear, nervousness etc id feel like a brick in my throat building and like an intense heart beat right there that my ego would hook to, to reminding me not to let them take me for a fool or to not just keep quiet
Coincidentially the past 2 days were days i had to resolve the situation at work that needed an extreme change and it was incredibly easy to speak to like 4 different people in high management to come to a good deal for all of us.
It was successful; every single conversation
It flow in a way that felt natural to me, i was in control of my emotions without the need to be in control of the conversation like i always did and with a clear mind and thought process.
One thing i loved is that there was this good vibe or understanding unconditional care, love if you will between each party, like good energy around that provided comfort and joy even, to be talking. It reminded me of Plasma Flower.
It was soooo good.
I think the sore throat is coming from the dreams i had last night were i couldnt talk and i was pushed to be in places or situations i did not like, ill see how it develops and if it will dissolves as the days pass playing the audio or if itd be my job to just let it go as memories from the past surface.
But so far…
10/10 for this Voice of Reason