Emotional abuse?(UPDATE)

Ask for Advice
#16

Hi. Is there any way you can open up your own private bank account without him knowing?
Do you have a degree or anything of the sort? If not getting a certificate ir accreditation will be helpful; when you leave you will need to get a job. Until then if you have anything such as jewelry you believe you can part with and sell, consider that.
Any support system? Friends family any womens groups?

I am really glad you are looking at this objectively but at the same time honoring your truth; you do have to leave but financial independence is important. But make no mistake you will need to leave. Furthermore for your sons optimal development it is essential to leave as living in a traumatic household is far more detrimental than experiencing divorced parents; this is also affirmed in empirical literature not just a personal opinion. I say this not to scare you but so you know it is in your sons best interest to also leave; it will be hard. It will feel like there are no options. But there will be- we just have to find them

I do not know which country you live in so I cannot assume what the legalities of this entire situation hold. Such as would this implicate where your son would be go? In the US, Most likely with him due to his financial stability; if you are in the US you could receive child support but still, it is not enough.

Due to that its really important we get you some financial independence going
(So WW millions, financial protector on paetron but more on that later in this post)

But again, paid fields or anything for purchase related are secondary. Until then this is all avalible for the public but still and very potent/ helpful:

Free Energy Tools of SM’s:
Wherever that guy sleeps: be sure to very softly but surely play the exorcism 2.0 and negstivity remover - these two are both free
I recommend this from personal experience

Please print out Michael Mandala for you and your son; if the man will flip out seeing it, subtly hide it. My father is anti this so mine are subtle; i hide them in my phone case or wear them under my bra or something.
Please carry for yourself beauty- that will help you especially after his crazy attacks- i recommend this for both you and your son too
Thor the Mandala. Empath protector. Negativity Repeller. All are free and on instagram

Audios for Sale:
With all that in mind, WW millions and WW contentment; those two on their own really should help bring opportunities - especially WW contentment to bring opportunities to GTFO.
Personally: when i am physically strong enough again i am going to be leaving the same exact way, so please truly consider those 2 WWs
Next: Point of no return ( especially as of right now since you feel so exasperated) i really feel this with the 2 WWs are going to be game changers for you
Also: entwining worlds of beauty & joy for you but especially the little one if not fesible the free audios: memories of joy and inner pillar of power.
Smart cord cutter and Tower of Holy Light (Tower of Power)

NFTs:
Intercession 2.0
Shielding 3.0 for you and your son.
Also if its possible- get hearth heater nft but again its really not necessary right now. If someone can lend you Hearth Heater and Passive Income / Financial Freedom NFTs/…tthat would be great for they both have maker items. You can make an item for both you and your son
And eventually solidifier… not mandatory but can help boost you with your safe departure

We will send servitors to keep you and your son protected, too.

If you do not mind disclosing the country you live in, it will be of immense help to us so we can better assist how you tackle this situation.
You must know we are here for you, too. Please know you did a huge step by even disclosing this situation- god bless you.

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#17

Also this for the intermittent. (Thank you Mao& Dream; and sorry I didn’t directly ask for permission :sweat_smile: )

He had posted this under a thread I once created for something similar with abuse.
These are some other wonderful suggestions taken from that same thread: Psychic mental shielding

Edit: I am just going to etch that thread because I’m having trouble adding all their comments on this post; i’m not the most tech savvy: https://forum.enlightenedstates.com/t/trigger-warning/

And this for the sweet little angel your little one :slight_smile: The Alchemical Revision of Childhood

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#18

Thank you so much Owl :pray: It means a lot to me

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#19

I’m in NZ. We have Women Shelters but they only provide temporary accommodation. I’m afraid to be told I have to leave the shelter before I’d find a new place to live.

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#20

I’ve been listening to Self -love and acceptance; love, gratitude, and appreciation; internal alchemical cubicle, negentropic fool, a few fields to help with anxiety and depression, and a few wealth fields.

I did talk to him and he says he is very exausted.
I haven’t been working for quite some time due to fatigue caused by antidepressants. I quit them maybe 4 months ago. I now will be looking for jobs.
I’ve applied for one position and hopefully I’ll get it.
It’s just that due to school hours I can only work 10-2 and I can’t work holidays. So many employers aren’t happy about it.

Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it.

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#21

I don’t know your situation in detail, and also don’t know the other side of the story, but are you also providing your part of duties in a relationship?
Does he receive enough love, appreciation, sex and intimicy from your side?
Or does the child receive all of your affection?
Does he provide all the time but does not receive the things back from you that he expects to receive back from you?

I am mentioning this, because in many relationships men have this unhealthy subconsicous idea to treat the relationship as a transational exchange, i.e. sex in exchange for the provider role.
And then, if the transaction is not fulfilled (as promised to them by society and commercials because society has treated relationships as such transactions for Millenia), the man becomes angry. Angry at you and the child for not fulfilling your part of the transaction. And the child is only screamed at because it takes away your affection from the man.

This is one of the possibilities of what might be going on here and I am mentioning this because it is one of the most common cases.
It is statistical fact that with many couples the amount of sex and intimacy drops after several years of a relationship and even more so once a child is born.
If the relationship was built on a such a transactional assumption the whole time, and too many relationships are, then the man becomes resentful and angry, having the same feeling of being stuck and trapped in their provider role, without any longer getting the promised benefits of the relationship.

And then also, additionaly to what others mentioned:
If you do not love yourself and assume the victim role, you will be treated as such – whether this is justified (you really carry the victim role) or unjustified (you simply being the first subject to vent onto for a frustrated man).

If your carry the victim role and/or are not fulfilling your partner’s needs, then the only way forward (versus carrying on the problems into your next life phase) is solving these problems at the core, i.e. getting out of the victim role and becoming independent, or rekindling the fire in the relationship that you entered for reasons of stability and being provided for in the first place (if these were your reasons as you mentioned above and you entered the relationship also for the transactional reasons, then like your partner, you co-manifested the situation that you are both in).

PS:
That topic of people treating you bad seems to be really something that you manifest on a regular basis as you wrote here (which means you have to work on your self love and how you see yourself):

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#22

Thank you for your intake.
I am very sure that he doesn’t get enough love and intimacy.
I try to kiss and cuddle and speak kindly to him. Although sometimes I just can’t. I often feel annoyed and resentful to him. He would come home and my mood would suddenly change 180 degrees. I don’t know why.
Although we often felt/feel happy together and due to that he doesn’t want to ruin relationship. Sometimes I feel like I want to leave, but more often I’d rather stay.
We haven’t been intimate for years due to my low libido. However he always mentioned my unwillingness to have sex as a ‘convinience’. He would compare me to his ex-wife, who was the opposite - always horny - and he said it was very tiring. So I used to believe he is fine without sex. As far as I know he doesn’t even masturbate. I now think he has a lot of tension built up inside him due to unreleased sexual energy.
I don’t think the child receives all my love. I don’t think I have much love to give to begin with.
I have mental health issues, had them for many years. Mainly depression. I listen to several fields for that and want to think they help, but the progress is rather slow.
Looking at how often negative events happen to me - I am now sure I carry a victim mindset, consciously or not. I listen to my self-love stash for that and try to meditate.

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#23

Get the child out of this abusive situation immediately, lest you be considered complicit in his crimes.

AFAIC screaming at children is a capital crime.

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#24

Have y’all considered therapy?

If neither of you want therapy then talk it out, ask him why he’s mad?
Let me tell you that when someone is angry is because they do not want to admit that they’ve been hurt.

Ask him how is he hurt? Why is he hurt?
Ask yourself why are you hurt? Why are you resentful towards him? Is it because he has hurt you? something else?

Understand why he’s mad and understand that he was just trying to make himself feel better even though he was very rude. Same goes for him. Maybe he is mad because of the way you were acting and you were acting that way to make yourself feel better too, even though you could’ve been selfish.

This complete madness and abuse could literally just be a misunderstanding.

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#25

Sounds to me like these are the issues here – several problems coming together all at once with both partners:

→ A miracle that he isn’t long gone. Any sexually healthy male would be long gone or would have cheated.

→ Do you actually find him attractive? Or are just in a comfort zone of being provided for?

→ A relationship without sex is a friendship!

→ Are your hormones in a healthy balance? Do you have any trauma related to sexual expression?

→ A way of how you rationalized to yourself that “sex is not required in a relationship” and “that you don’t need to initiate it”.

→ Yes, if has no sexual release whatsoever, then this will create stuck energy in the meridians, causing longterm resentment, anger ourbursts, irritability etc.

The same applies to you as a female. If you never have an orgasm, your energy is stuck and this where your depression, resentment and neuroticism probably comes from mostly.

→ Is your Heart Chakra blocked by some trauma? Have you ever loved a lot before? Are you able to give your child a lot of love?

→ This one needs to be fixed asap. Otherwise you will manifest more situations like this.

Blueprint of Love NFT can most likely solve all of these issues long-term (if you can get your hands on it).

Otherwise there would be a stack of fields addressing all these different problems. Most of these stacks would include JAAJ’s Self Love Stack.

Also, you and your partners should probably start with a session of bringing each other to orgasm, then have a deep open talk about all the repressed issues and topics.

If you do not take responsibility and INITIATE, it is very unlikely that your partner will do that. One of you two has to make the first step forward.

A relationship without sex is a friendship.

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#26

Personally I dont agree at all with the some of the above comments. I dont know what parallel universe they’re living on but anyways…
For victim mentality you can easily fix it with New Perspectives or Outlook Retrainer.

I dont think anything of your situation has to do with sex
Its abuse. Short and easy. You have nothing to fix if he does not want to fix himself. You have done your part. @Ali
Im just writing to let it be known a victim of abuse NEVER needs to justify themselves- especially with some of the comments from others i’m sadly reading from above
A violent relationship will remain violent- sex or no sex

Also sorry I couldn’t respond to your PM
I will do so now @Ali

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#27

It has 1000% to do with sex and all the underlying issues.
She admitted and described it herself.
Have you actually read the whole thread?
If you cannot see this, then you need to ask yourself whether you are repressing a part of your sexuality yourself.
There is a feature in the BoLove NFT that can help you with that.

Abuse on both sides of the relationship.
They are abusing each other.
Again, have you actually read the whole thread?
She literally admitted it and wrote it above.

This is exactly the low quality advice and mindset that keeps people stuck in their miserable realities and victim mode. If she would be already healed and would not have any open topics to work on, then she would not manifest the situations she described and she would not be treated like that by her partner or anyone else.

The fact that she is experiencing this stuff is proof that there is also a ton of work to be done on her side. Situations like this are always co-manifestations.

Violet, by giving such advice, you are clearly projecting your own unwillingness to work on your own issues onto others. Where the woman is always the victim and the man is always the one who needs to work on himself. She clearly stated the problems and issues above – yet you continue to try and brainwash her that it is 100% not her fault and that she is completely innocent.

No one said anything about violence in the thread.
Screaming and gaslighting is psychological abuse, but not violence.
Again, that is your projection.

You should stop consuming feminist propaganda where everything that is slightly below “super happy” is automatically labeled as “violence”.

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#28

No i didn’t read anything else so relax yourself jaaj
And feminist just means cerebral equality. Dont be so weird about it.
I’m not sure how you’ve concluded violence is only equated to physical and not mental but eh I’ll leave you to it.

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#29

Jheez guys this is not it. I normally find ur points intresting and good points, But this no.

#30

do you believe if these two have healthy sex all their issues would be solved?

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#31

JAAJ, you somehow made this situation look like it’s all about sex, about me not giving him sex.

And yet it’s Violet who is projecting?

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#32

Lovely. I don’t need such ‘miracles’ then…

I used to find him attractive, but after so many hurtful words he said to me, I just no longer do. I don’t feel like I respect him any longer.

I brought it up to him some time ago, he said that’s what he seeks - strong friendship. That he is ‘old’ and it’s hard for him to satisfy a woman. He didn’t say these words directly but that’s how I understood him.

I do have trauma, caused again by my partner.
Especially when he forced me to have unprotected sex with him, even though I didn’t want it, and I could get pregnant, but he didn’t care.
Or when I was in labour and bleeding, I begged him to take me to the hospital but he said to ‘let him sleep, he has work tomorrow, it’s a long process anyway’.
Or when he blamed me in mental illnesses.
Or when he’s been allowing his parents to bring me and our child down, and didn’t intervene.

I certainly have some trauma. I want to give more love. But I need to heal myself first. I loved before, probably with a stronger love, but I just can’t awaken those feelings like I used to. Mentioning, it always was a platonic love. I might be asexual, I don’t know. However I used to be sexually attracted to my partner in the past so idk

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#33

:point_down:

Underlying issues like trauma, missing attraction, depression, a transactional relationship etc.

All of these issues lead to the non-existence of a healthy sexual expression, which is required for a healthy romantic relationship.

Do you know what might be the origin of this behavior from him?
If this was not the case in the beginning of the relationship, then something must have happened which made him behave like this.
Or was he always like that and you entered the relationship without paying attention to the red flags in his behavior?

Which can then mean 3 things:

A) He no longer finds you attractive
B) He has severe sexual blockages
C) He no longer finds you attractive + He has severe sexual blockages

This sounds like he has severe sexual blockages and trauma himself.
No healthy male would say something like this.
As a man I can tell you that such a statement is a subterfuge.

Did he actually force you with physical force?
Or did he talked you into doing it against your concerns?
Physical force = violence.
He talked you into it = emotional manipulation.

Further questions to ask:

Were you also on contraception?
If not, tried he to talk you into also taking care of the contraception?
Was his reason to have unprotected sex because of the more realistic feeling down there or because he actually wanted to impregnate you or something else?

Do I understand correct, his parents also screamed or insulted you and your child?
If yes, is there a reason why they don’t like you?

Hmm, so as mentioned previously this sounds to me like there was never real sexual attraction in the first place, only some superficial platonic love and rationalization of the situation.

You need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself whether you dated him in the beginning because you didn’t have any other dating choices or whether you actually had choices available and chose this particular man because you found him attractive?

#34

This. He always was this way. I cried ever since the begging of our relationship. Wanted to leave but then got pregnant. His behaviour suddenly changed. He became calm and caring. Was this way up until our child wasn’t a toddler anymore. Then he was back to his cruel self. He blames his overactive adrenal glands for this.

I think it’s his dysfunctional family. They are straight up sociopaths. Incredibly hateful, mean people. If I knew his family beforehand (we live in a different country than his parents), I would have never entered the relationship.

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#35

Yes. No talking.

I wasn’t on contraception. He never asked me to start it. This incident was many years ago, before the child. I however eventually did start contraception to balance my hormones, but it was after the child. The incident was before the child. I’ve Been on the pill for years, then quit because of weight gain. Not that I became obese, just skinny to curvy. He always said he likes me curvy.

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