Edited
Musing
I don’t know why i feel guided with a lot of love to post this publicly… every fiber of my being from my higher self… to speak out
i held myself back at first since there are things that aren’t sapiens fields but i’ll do it.
Im not in the best place either but im glad you’re mustering (mustard-ing… just being silly) as much as you can… a lot of things happened and it’s not a coincidence you’re here and we’re reaching to you (you’re not alone about the family issue)
From what i’ve seen it seems the ‘best’ people get hurt / misunderstood the most first and especially at a young age and im around your age. I relate to a lot of things you have said. I felt empty too and was in isolation and losing those i loved or heck not even having that support and many heartaches… I didn’t want to get up out of bed either… i have similar beliefs about the ‘medical’ system you have and honor it
Intuitively & empathically answering based and what you’ve shared of your experience and what you want / need most… and sending my intent to you
It’s not that you’re not using fields correctly (that’s not always the case)… It’s your own willpower, your intent, your true ‘essence’ of who you truly are and who you choose to be. Your Love (the experience of such). Your hopes. Your dreams. It’s all ‘you’ expressing… You’re everything… YOU… Your “I Am” and you’re already here
You can let go of what you or others believe is wrong or right at this moment because they can be illusions / distractions to what you truly need deep down in your soul.
Not from an external force.
Not based on your circumstances and anyone else.
I know you’re not crazy… You’re definitely not… i’ve met people who went through a similar thing and survived. I’ve met people who kept hearing voices until they’re calm again because they took upon themselves to stand up and be true to themselves
When you don’t have your boundaries and full sovereignty solid (being well aware of who you choose to be and are) and your mental state / will is at its lowest or there’s an opening of ‘vulnerability’ (of ‘giving up’ / forgetting / ignoring / denying your ‘truth’), it’s easy pickings for ‘them’ - like mosquitos to skin or moths to a flame. And as you ‘raise your vibration’ there’s potential (if you leave the origin of the suffering in the dark) for more ‘dark forces’ / negative programming / thought patterns that may try to latch on to you to ‘drink up your life’ when / if you let it without awareness or rather you allow it without 'stating your sovereignty.
I understand too well it can -if you believe so- be pretty hard to focus on what’s going on when there’s so much weight and ‘emphasis’ and suffering and distractions that clouds your senses at times especially when it seems like there’s no one to turn to and potentially for more fear of getting heart broken or criticized or even worse beaten up we can lead ourselves astray
When fear arises, that’s most likely, most of the time, not coming from you but from the ‘illusion(s) of you’ / thought forms in which you identify with that’s afraid to let go or rather you afraid of letting go and so those ‘things’ take advantage of that (even though they are like a reflection of you). So as a result you may be ‘blocking’ off / ‘shielding’ yourself / your heart (heart armor) into numbness so you don’t want to face and experience the pain anymore because its been there for far too long or it was too great so it may be difficult to ‘take in’ gifts or love or help.
–Like when Ego Dissolution happened, I screamed and cried so loudly out but to push through of my own will because i kept holding on to ‘the self’ i thought i was and it was a lot of release… it was a lot of liberation
https://forum.enlightenedstates.com/t/new-release-ego-dissolution/2525/252
As for entities and soul fragments (feeling whole) + major thread
I’ve shared my experience and information here and suggestions a much needed field (Michael) as it’s often overlooked
https://forum.enlightenedstates.com/t/the-sword-of-st-michael/21468/66
And more possible answers here
https://forum.enlightenedstates.com/t/attacks-and-entity-infestation/4577/49
From someone who has experience (Higher Self Connection + Love + Abundance… He has Psychic Self Defense videos has on channel)
It’s no coincidence that you’re aware while the others you know are ‘asleep’. Having such ‘low vibes’ in the area is telling. You can raise it not just for yourself but others around you so it all becomes more peaceful and harmonious as SunFlawy suggested above as an idea
Suggestions
In this exact order (ultimately it’s up to you, what your intuition tells you in your heart) and please have your focus on them.
These at the start are not morphic fields so it may be less ‘invasive’ and we need to tackle any other modalities starting with the most simple and of course safe (subliminals > energetic programming > morphic fields)
1st this before all else
(speakers for this section)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS9ytoFQ9ZA
“…run your fingers over … [the] (physical illness or suffering area), counter-clockwise for about 10 seconds, whilst playing this file, then, remove your hand and click your fingers. Repeat this process 3 times.”
You can choose the places where you feel most ‘sucky.’ Have your intention on the head and heart and or anywhere you know needs work and state or focus your intent. You’ve got this. Repeat this as necessary
2nd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFqUlnPSLw0
3rd (for a rapid kick-back. Show 'em what you’re made of)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnUvVZU8G0k
4th Nervous system reset
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0Trz5ECPnc
5th (3x Alan watts included)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZH5OP_xid4c
6th I had huge relief with this then switched to Orgone Accumulator i do use this from time to time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfKp2PaxA2I
7th As an empath this is a Godsend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kloQ8yzUoQM
8th Forgivness, Love, Appreciation as praxriced on the SEE system as it’s simple efficient and effective
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pw2jiKHsXE
9th last resort on ‘evil’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnUHKnn8QUs
Subliminals
Use headphones / earbuds
Be mindful of receptivity so do this with full focus and intent and meditation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57QMqQN4qw4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHAJctsIMS0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXdP75lo2R8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJA8vwBuhGs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTIKVIRTNv4
Sovereignty affirmations (important and stuff like this is often censored so download then reupload when needed)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEMKdR5t3f4
Morphic Fields
Use speakers (earbuds can work but you may have the most impact when you have sound on your heart area)
1st (ask for help and state your sovereignty)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0HR59W8IEI
3rd
Love Gravitation Wave + Spear of Destiny (heart armor) / Heart DeArmoring (Maitreya Fields)
4th
Alchemical Revision Series (Childhood + Inner Self Love + Trauma) I shared a Painbody playlist here but this can work too; energy instead of morphic
5th
May be most essential for you and for the beginning to get back into focus and make room for your true self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zCvjqqIt-I
Protocol mentioned above (psychic protection and ‘training’)
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5QarlJKO_aW-NN6t1HaMYbzS5_5mHBUM
To address your technology use (as a tech superuser myself this is essential) and radiation / electrosmog and that pressure on the skull i recommend getting emf radiation tools https://shop.twistedsage.com/collections/emf-protection
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VWMkjM3-yM
Or Elektrosmog album + auto-grounding
Energy cultivation and neutralization to help raise vibration of the whole place and take in energy
Clearing 1st
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7TR4qWD1LI
Accumulating and neutralizing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuXkxN-q5mo
Riser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLQItn4Sinw
'Feng shui’of Luck and Abundance
Bountiful Harvest Album + Abundance Mindset + Spiritual Growth States of Being + Jealousy Shield
Oxygen in you for energy cultivation & deep healing painbody
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NVNdOMfa08
for being inside for so long
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrArLHzwbnw
Viitamin D
And Vitamin C
Automatic Grounding (helps with psychic attacks too. And a must use before healing)
And more ‘whys’, mentions the act of staying in the dark in isolation
And for sitting a lot, go through spinal tapper + atlas posture help + neck hump
Hope and Happiness for grief + outlook retrainer / rune dagaz + mental health album
And for trauma release on anxiety, but you may need someone beside you to work through this
https://forum.enlightenedstates.com/t/anxiety-in-solar-plexus-it-just-comes-outta-nowhere-how-do-i-solve-this/12010
Reconnecting / rejuvinating with your vital force as the basics (like what’s suggested by PatronSaintBiceps) and using that energy to listen to more fields as foundation after clearing and shielding and whilst soul restoration
Jing
Chi
Shen (to help reconnect w higher self, replenish as much shen as you can for your heart and mind)
Transmute lower basal
And there’s a good chance that as you’re healing there may be inflammation, for that Nervous system primer here before all morphic fields or if you start to feel lots of discomfort along spine / back
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5QarlJKO_aVVP1tofO4aK0mGsxr7valR
Ps… Much love to you unconditionally and everyone involved and even those stuck as well.
If it turns out that the answer is not what we expect then we can consider it a lesson(s)… starve the distractions and feed the focus