Hello guys. I am a little afraid to reveal my identity on such a public platform so I have chosen the name Anon2. I hope that is ok.
I need ur help please. A little bit about me. I have tried to grow in life but always ended up failing. At this point I feel really stuck and lost. When I was younger I got into personal development and that seemed like my way to finally improve my life. Now after a few tries, it has all just kind of become hopeless. I am trying to find the energy to keep going, but at this point I feel really lost. I don’t know what I want, how am I going to get my “dream life”, I feel like I have failed so many times that now I have in some way even lost faith in achieving my hopes and dreams.
Often, days feel like a battle, trying to escape reality, pass time. Sometimes I see glimpses of hope and life working out for me, but it just seems so rare, so fleeting that it’s hard to believe in anything right now. I am here because sapien medicine has helped me in the past. I have grown a lot using these audios, but I have been far far away from the community for more than a year.
I know it seems selfish for me to just come here and dump my pain here, and expect you guys to fix me, but that’s not what I want. I want to be able to get out of this phase of feeling low and stuck. Sometimes it feels like I’m in quicksand and I’m just drowning and there seems to be no way out.
I request whoever can help me and is willing to, to please do so. I don’y know too much about the new audios and dont remember a lot about the old ones since its really been a while. I just request for some help to make 2 stacks that can get me out of this and help me get back to feeling like myself again, because I dont know if this person who I have become is me anymore. I am willing to put in effort, I will take action, I will report back with my results. I also know that this cannot substitute any professional/medical help and I understand and accept it. I am just looking for some support to make things easier for me which I know these audios can provide.
Now for my request -
1st stack : to get out of this low/stuck feeling. Almost depressed like. I guess audios that could help me feel happy, purposeful, motivated. Audios that could fill me with some hope and support. Audios that could rebuild my faith in myself and the universe, so that I don’t feel so lost and alone anymore. So that it doesn’t feel like living = a constant battle against everything and everyone. I just want to be able to feel alive again.
2nd stack - to help me gain back direction and purpose in life, so that I don’t just feel like I’m waiting to die. I want to be able to do things, have the inspiration to do things, I want to be able to trust again and feel like life is actually working out for me. I want to be able to know what is meant for me, how I can align myself with that, and how I can live life, rather than just surviving. Sometimes its so difficult feeling like this. Like I have so many emotions inside me, but it cannot even come out, I cannot even cry at how horrible life has become for me. I want to get out of this energy and back to living life, I see people living with such beauty, with light in their eyes, with happiness and I also want to be able to do that. Anything that can provide me with this direction.
I also would need some strength (energy) to take the action, because I am so drained from just surviving it feels like I have no energy inside me anymore, and some push/discipline that can help me with that extra step, during moments of weakness, so that I can take the right action.
I am willing to seek professional help, willing to face these emotions and get through them, willing to take action, willing to plan out what I desire as and when I discover it, but I need some support because right now it seems scary at my starting point and I’m hoping these audios can provide that.
I dont have much to give, and I’m sorry if I seem selfish in any way by dumping all my problems on you guys, but this seems like one of my last changes. I cannot give anything in exchange for this help and guidance other than deep gratitude, reporting back on my experiences, helping others in the future once I get through this myself.
I request you guys to help me get out of this place I have ended up in, and I thank you for reading through this post, even if you cannot help, just reading and acknowledging my problems, sparing some of your time for me, sending me any good thoughts/ energy etc… all of it helps and I am really grateful to all of you and this community in general. You guys have saved me before, and I feel like you can save me again, you can support me through this and I’m grateful for the support.