My brother considers me handicapped, retarded and mentally challenged and what not, “because I have not achieved anything” in life.
He also doesn’t believe me that I’ve had health issues, even if I’ve been diagnosed and took meds for more than a decade, for various health issues.
He just told me this morning: “you don’t want to admit it, but you’re handicapped”…
I almost want to leave my mom in a place where they can take care of her, and restart anew…
But I can’t, I won’t.
She wants to see me succeed, but we lost our home, since we sold it a decade ago and we’ve had all sorts of expenses, simply living took care of the money.
I don’t know how we took that horrible horrible decision…
Man, my life sucks.
Staying at my brother’s for the sake of my mom (we could have stayed in another place and probably or perhaps we wouldn’t be without our property) and for my sake as well…
And the health issues they just piled up for more than a decade and a half, although I’ve had a significant improvement like 7 years ago.
I don’t know what to do.
To be honest, I think I hate my brother or at least really dislike him.
He has helped us financially, a lot, but it would have been better if we had never moved here.
I’ve had depression and later arrived (or made a comeback) quite a few health issues, like allergies, asthma, Hemorrhoids, candida, overweight, then inability to eat lots of food, due to allergies and glutition trouble (candida, first of all), insomnia, etc.
My bro claims that I’m retarded since only a handicapped/retarded person can’t sleep properly at night.
He also says that I blamed him and indeed I blamed him since he encouraged us to sell our house (we sold and apartment before that and just built our house, it was mostly finished)…
He and his whole family (wife and now an adult son, plus her family) hate me, despise me, consider me a freeloader and a good for nothing…
He just told me that i won’t make it, that I won’t work as a coder or programmer…
He doesn’t believe that I’m capable of anything, really.
I’ve barely worked in my life, I’ve had 2 jobs, one for almost 3 years and another one for months (later, from home), before that C19 virus came and made me quit due to my health issues.
He’s partially right, though.
I did have psychological issues, but he shouldn’t just devalue me like I’m the scum of the earth…
This is not a good environment for me, at all.
My mom has no legs, she needs constant care, and my brother thinks that I have no future and he despises me.
I’ve even gotten into disputes with his family a couple times, like his wife’s father told me to go inside (I was in the yard), and he wanted to attack me physically, him and my nephew.
I wasn’t scared of them, heck I could probably beat them both, when it comes to it, I have extraordinary physical strength, but I don’t want to get into fights…
And my brother told me to get inside.
I literally cried back then, and asked the Divine for justice, and now that guy who told me to get inside, who humiliated me, on the property that my mom left my brother, that guy came to suffer horribly our of no where…
He was perfectly healthy and after that incident,
He went to the hospital and suffers daily due to some health issues.
He almost died and I wished him the worst and it happened…
There is justice, I guess.
Also, he shouldn’t have messed with me.
Anyway, my situation is quite bad.
My mom wants to leave for a place where they take care of elderly people (in case I go from this place, from my brother’s), but I won’t let her, she’s the only soul in this world who cared about me…
Man, my life is just full of such stories, ever since I was a child, I’ve been threatened by my own father, then one thing arrived after another…
How tf did I made it, and mostly mentally stable, Idk.
I’m grateful that I’ve found this place and Sapienmed, and before those, yoga, otherwise Idk…
There is hope, but I’m swimming through humiliations.
As you can guess, I don’t want to talk to his family and I avoid them as much as possible.
They all hated me always.
Especially his wife, she asked my brother to kick my mom out of this house, which he got thanks to our mom…
I don’t even know if I hate them.
I did, I did hate them all.
But now, it’s dislike, huge dislike, but not hate.
I don’t hate anyone.
OR maybe I do, Idk.
Anyway…
Vent over.
