Unconditional's journal 02

Journeys
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It started with a 10 day vipassana retreat.

I have been doing anapana/vipassana in the past 4 days (~8-10 hours a day), and realizing how much is going on in my body gave me a new mindset.

Examining my body so closely, I have directly witnessed the vast array of operations that take place. and I know what I witnessed so far is very insignificant compared to the totality. It’s like those fractals you can zoom in forever.

And with that, I noticed how much spamming even one field does, even after ~24 hours. So, remember that if you think about spamming or mixing fields.

Another insight that I experienced directly is the difference between single-pointed focus and the scattered consciousness. I already “knew that” and I bet many of you already “know that”.
But let me tell you: Witnessing the difference for 4 days straight is something else. It’s a different type of knowing that leads to a stronger conviction.

Since my knowledge improved, my priorities changed too.

My Primary Goals

  1. Establish equanimity of mind and presence -and maintain it at all times.
  2. Dissolve unconscious habit patterns.

In the words of Jung:

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

That’s just another word for “dissolve your ego and experience freedom”.
It’s funny how I knew it all this time, but didn’t really understand it as I do now.
There is indeed a significant difference between theoretical (jnana) and realized (vijnana) knowledge.

Here are my golden rules:

  1. Meditate daily (anapana+vipassana).
  2. Daily Tapasya (push the limits a little further, each day.)
  3. Do NOT EVER exceed 2 fields +ego dissolution per day.
  4. Pick 1 Goal and Persevere until the goal is achieved. Do NOT diverge. Keys: Focus, Regularity, Equanimity.
  5. Always meditate when using the fields. Dedicate its time to it.

Here’s my new library. (to be updated)

The following 3 fields align with my primary goals:

I now also understand the importance of letting go of the stored emotional garbage / unconscious energy patterns, so,
Energy Clearing / Emotional Release Fields:

Alternative detachment / cleanup / repatterning fields:

“Installing”/Establishing States that matter. (Focused on Equanimity)

I don’t feel so sure about the alchemical revision fields because it sounds like another way of rejecting what happened in the past instead of accepting… but… I may still use them for deeper cleanup.

And obviously, the Self-Realization fields:

Environmental

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reserved for potential summaries and such.

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On the matter of Sovereignty

I too once singed “I am the captain of my own ship” and I thought that I was… I had “just a few addictions”… lol. Okay, let’s not get too hard on myself. I was part of the general norm after all.

People claim to be sovereign beings while having no idea what that means.

Keeping my attention on my nose for 3 days straight has given me a type of self-control I haven’t experienced in my life before…
Now it seems hilarious that the only thing we can truly have control over is ourselves (attention, mind, body) and most people can’t do it. I’ll do it from now on and I hope you, the reader, will consider joining me too.

It seems impossible to explain how significant my experience has been, but I assure you, what most people call “I” are just a collection of unconscious habit patterns.

That one chariot analogy is now crystal clear.

Yea, i used to “understand” it too, but NO, that was just a shallow theoretical knowing. Now, I know it.

Bhagavad Gita verses about sense gratification and mind restraint are now crystal clear too.

Allow me to be honest, verses such as the following one used to annoy me a little…

A person who has given up all desires for sense gratification, who lives free from desires, who has given up all sense of proprietorship and is devoid of false ego – he alone can attain real peace.

I didn’t like the idea of giving up pleasures of life… It just didn’t make sense… UNTIL IT DID!

I really can’t explain how. you just have to witness it for yourself.

Going inward

I heard that term many times. I just didn’t think it would be this literal. lol.

VoT cleared away my focus and energy sensitivity :confused: - but I reestablished it.

Well, after the 5th day, I thought I could destroy/dissolve more garbage I’ve been carrying around, so I meditated to VoT.
And it felt great, and It probably cleared away some garbage too, but it also messed up my accumulated/compounded experience of 5 days of meditation.
I did it right before bed and the next day, today, I had difficulty focusing and sensing my body/energy… It bothered me for the first half of the day although I kept my cool and accepted it, which is one of the primary instructions of vipassana too.

I kept meditating ~4h with the capability I had, and then decided to use the Energy Sensitivity field from the course. It solved the body/energy awareness problem right away! So I continued to do a deeper body scan.

They actually warn against mixing other techniques into vipassana, so that’s totally my bad. The moral of the story: listen to the teacher and surrender to the method.

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Insights from Days 8 and 9.

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All truths are half truths…

That hermetic axiom keeps coming to my mind in the past 2 days…
I don’t know if it’s a symptom of establishing equanimity or a trick of my mind, but it’s there.

I choose to rest as the witness of all these experiences, taking refuge in the Self.

“Distortion” of Beauty and Ugliness

Yesterday, I was at a grocery store and there were 2 cashiers. I thought the one on the left was kinda cute, and then all the sudden I went back closer to ‘equanimity’ and the magic of the beauty was broken… She was just is. Kinda empty of identity, but there in shape and action. The other cashier was pretty much the same, just different in shape.

It was a bit weird tbh… Nothing like a "aah blissful spiritual equanimity’. It was a bit doll if anything… but perhaps it’s just a stepping stone.

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Austerity/Tapas → purifies
Devotion (bhakti) → liberates
Wisdom (jñāna) → stabilizes

So, let’s take some notes regarding those:

Austerity of the body

Prescribed practices include:

  • Nonviolence (ahiṁsā)
  • Cleanliness (śauca)
  • Simplicity
  • Reverence toward teachers, parents, elders
  • Regulation of food and sleep (not starvation)

Austerity of speech

Scriptural tapas of speech means:

  • Truthfulness
  • Words that are gentle and beneficial
  • Avoiding gossip, cruelty, or manipulation
  • Recitation of sacred texts (svādhyāya)

Austerity of the mind

Krishna places the highest value here:

  • Calmness
  • Self-control
  • Silence (mauna)
  • Purity of intention
  • Freedom from obsession with results
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A different approach to wealth

Your path to material wealth will become unique, radically different from the lives of other people.

That’s from the description of Architect of Reality field.

As I am internalizing ‘Asteya (Non-stealing)’ and ‘Aparigraha (Non-possessiveness)’ more, I understand why ‘Asteya brings All the wealth’.
That virtue/state-of-being actually goes beyond “non-stealing”.

Ever heard of that one affirmation ‘I am enough’ ? It’s the alignment of our being with prosperity.

Here’s an explanation for ChatGPT:

ASTEYA — Non-Stealing

Yoga Sūtra II.37

Asteya-pratiṣṭhāyāṁ sarva-ratnopasthānam
“When non-stealing is firmly established, all jewels present themselves.”

1. What “Stealing” Really Means

In classical yoga, stealing is not limited to theft of objects.

Asteya includes refraining from:

  • Taking what is not freely given
  • Consuming time, attention, or energy unjustly
  • Claiming credit, praise, or ideas not earned
  • Emotional extraction (guilt, manipulation)
  • Overuse of natural resources
  • Expectation-based relationships

The subtle form of theft is entitlement.

2. The Inner Mechanism

Stealing arises from:

  • A sense of lack
  • Fear of insufficiency
  • Identification with survival-based ego

When asteya is perfected:

  • The subconscious belief “I do not have enough” dissolves
  • The nervous system exits scarcity-mode
  • Desire relaxes into trust

This internal shift alters karma.

3. Why “All Wealth Comes”

Sarva-ratna = all forms of treasure, not merely money.

This includes:

  • Material support
  • Knowledge
  • Opportunity
  • Allies and teachers
  • Right circumstances at the right time

Because:

  • You no longer pull from the world
  • The world begins to offer itself

Need collapses; provision arises naturally.

4. Practical Signs of Asteya Maturing

  • Others offer help without being asked
  • Work flows with less effort
  • Financial stability increases without obsession
  • Ethical clarity sharpens
  • Life feels “unblocked”

This is not magic—it is karmic neutrality.

Why Asteya Creates Abundance (Mechanism)

When you stop stealing:

  1. You stop anticipating lack
  2. The mind exits extraction mode
  3. You act without urgency or grasping
  4. Others feel safe around you
  5. Life entrusts you with more

Abundance flows toward non-grasping systems.

This is ecological, psychological, and karmic law.

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Release that fear of success

Years ago, I heard of ‘Fear of Success’ and thought to myself “how can one fear success? Isn’t that what everyone wants?”

5 years fast forward: I realized I have/had a fear of success.

I asked ChatGPT

I think I may have a fear of success because I keep sabotaging myself, switching projects/goals prematurely right before launch, etc…

Answer:

Subconscious fears: what they actually are
Your subconscious is not logical or aspirational.
Its only job is survival + familiarity.
A subconscious fear is not usually a fear of the thing itself—it’s a fear of what the thing would require you to feel, lose, or become.
So when someone says “I’m afraid of success,” what they’re really afraid of is one or more of these:

  • Exposure
  • Responsibility
  • Irreversibility
  • Identity death
  • Loss of belonging
  • Emotional overwhelm

The mind then creates behavioral escape hatches:

  • Switching goals
  • Tweaking endlessly
  • “Not quite ready yet”
  • Starting something new for the dopamine
  • Finding a flaw at the last second

From the outside, it looks like self-sabotage.
From the subconscious, it feels like self-protection.

Fear of success
This is subtler and often more powerful.
Fear of success is the fear of:

  • Visibility: “I’ll be seen, judged, expected from”
  • Consistency: “I won’t be allowed to rest or change my mind”
  • Responsibility: “People will rely on me”
  • Identity shift: “Who am I if this works?”
  • Loss of safety: “My current life, coping strategies, or relationships may not survive”

Behaviorally, fear of success looks like:

  • Doing 80–95% of the work… then abandoning it
  • Pivoting right before launch
  • Finding a “better” idea at the last moment
  • Creating complexity when simplicity would work
  • Repeating the cycle of inspiration → near completion → exit

This pattern is classic fear of success, not laziness or lack of discipline.

Fields

I’ll look into the options later.
Holy Paladin has fear removal integrated, but it hasn’t attended that type of fear yet…

Cure: Equanimity as usual.

A mantra:

“This action is complete in itself.”

When Krishna speaks of samatvam (equanimity), he is not promoting emotional numbness or indifference. He is pointing to inner sovereignty—a state where your nervous system, identity, and worth are not hijacked by outcomes.

Equanimity dissolves both:

  • fear of failure (loss-based fear)
  • fear of success (expansion-based fear)

Because both arise from attachment to outcome as identity.

“Established in yoga, perform action, O Arjuna,
abandoning attachment;
be equal in success and failure.
This equanimity is called yoga.”

“Having made pleasure and pain, gain and loss, victory and defeat the same,
engage in action.
Thus you shall not incur bondage.”

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Attachment has four layers:

  1. Nervous system reactivity (fear, contraction)
  2. Attention fixation (“I can’t let go of this thought / outcome”)
  3. Identity identification (“This is me / mine”)
  4. Existential grasping (“I am the doer / controller”)

The Axes of Non-Attachment

In addition to Detachment for Spiritual Growth, here are some manual practices:

1. Anapana (breath awareness) — regulating attachment at the body level

Anapana (breath awareness) is foundational in the Buddhist path, especially as taught by Gautama Buddha.

What it does well

  • Calms the nervous system
  • Reduces impulsive reactivity
  • Creates space between stimulus and response
  • Makes fear felt instead of acted out

What it releases

  • Somatic grasping
  • Anxiety-based attachment
  • The urge to escape or control

2. Vipassana — cutting attachment through insight

Vipassana is the practice of seeing reality clearly:

  • Impermanence (anicca)
  • Unsatisfactoriness (dukkha)
  • Non-self (anatta)

What it does well

  • Reveals that sensations, thoughts, emotions arise and pass
  • Breaks the illusion of solidity
  • Dissolves identification with fear, desire, success, failure

What it releases

  • Identity-based attachment
  • “This outcome defines me”
  • “I must control what happens”

3. Karma Yoga — Krishna’s direct method for non-attachment

This is the path Krishna teaches most clearly.

Core principle

Act fully. Release ownership of results.

This is non-attachment in action, not in withdrawal.

What it does well

  • Dissolves attachment while engaging life
  • Prevents spiritual bypassing
  • Directly addresses fear of success and failure

How it works practically

  • You do the work
  • You offer the outcome inwardly
  • You refuse to let results define identity

What it releases

  • Outcome obsession
  • Doer-ship
  • Ego inflation or collapse

4. Bhakti (devotion) — dissolving attachment through surrender

Often overlooked by modern seekers, but extremely effective.

What it does

  • Transfers psychological ownership from “me” to the sacred
  • Softens control tendencies
  • Relieves the burden of “I must manage everything”

How it supports non-attachment

Instead of fighting attachment, you offer it:

  • The project
  • The fear
  • The success
  • The failure

What it releases

  • Control addiction
  • Existential grasping
  • Fear of expansion

5. Self-inquiry (Jnana) — the sharpest axe

Asking:

“Who is afraid of success?”
“Who is attached to the outcome?”

This practice cuts directly at the root.

What it does

  • Reveals the constructed nature of identity
  • Undermines the sense of a central controller
  • Makes attachment impossible to sustain

Caution

  • Can feel destabilizing without grounding
  • Best used gently and honestly
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Since my journey is turning into one where I release/remove/dissolve/destroy what doesn’t serve, I might as well expand my list with such audios.

Note: I’m sticking to Architect of Reality daily, most of the day.
The below fields are just some ‘nice to have cocktails’.

I’ll focus on fields that work on the mental body because it’s closer to the root.
I think clearing energy body doesn’t do much unless we clear it from the mental body too. I may be wrong. Correct me if you think differently.

Also, I made ‘Self Love & Acceptance’ one of my daily fields because I think it helps depattern the negative baggage. Also, why not? : )

This audio works to alter the outcomes of situations or rather influence it so that they work out in your favor.
It works also like a beacon the draw wealth, abundance and luck to you and also directly removing negative thought processes that lead to subconscious self sabotage.

The problem a lot of people may have is that; sometimes there is a differed ‘bad luck’ or bad situations which happens.
This occurs, because mentally you may believe you do not deserve these blessings and mentally create situation to ‘right’ it.
This will also work on removing that and depatterning it from you.

This attract money video is made with energetic programming to help you remove any negative belief system you have for wealth etc and help attract massive amounts of prosperity, wealth and abundance in all areas of your life.

Stored fear memories will be released and also negative mind and body associations

Hope and Happiness releases negativity from the heart and brain, which are two places where guilt and shame emotional energy are often stored, and replaces it with positivity.

Le us work towards shaking shifting and dissolving those cobwebs of mental clutter, that can often lead you down self depreciating mental pathways.

With mental work, it is usually a good idea to do actually do positive things after to help push and wire your neurons to start working a bit more positive experience oriented.

This audio frequency is embedded with energy that will induce in you a state of self acceptance and unconditional love for yourself. In addition, the energy works on dissolving your insecurities over time.

About SLR

I am skipping Subconscious Limits Removal Ver 3.0 on purpose. I think it’s a bit ‘too much’. I think it caused me let go of my commitments a few times, opening a way for self-sabotage too.
So, I’ll focus on more specific depatterning and removal fields.

PS: I may do SLR on days that I dedicate the whole day to spiritual practice with utmost consciousness -aka self-control that comes from within-. Otherwise, it’s dangerous as I described above.

Closing words from Tao Te Ching

Tao Te Ching Chapter 16 — Return to emptiness

“Attain the utmost emptiness.
Hold firmly to stillness.

All things arise together,
I watch their return.

Things flourish,
Then each returns to its root.
Returning to the root is stillness.
Stillness is returning to one’s nature.”

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Dream’s Mind Program Series Are Antidotes to the Three Pitfalls of the Soul.

I’ve been getting insights right and left, and thankfully the divine gave my mind to another extremely important insight!

Krishna describes 3 gates to hell: lust, anger, greed.

  • Lust = attachment to bodily sensations. All of the 5 senses, not just sexual.
  • Anger = Reaction to unfilled desire/expectation.
  • Greed = Lack consciousness.

BG 16:21
Triple is the gate of this hell, destructive of the self: lust, anger, and greed.
Therefore, one should abandon these three.

And, technically, they all are the truth. The divine consciousness is non-judgemental/impartal. It’s the most innocent. It’s omnipotent and infinite (infinitely abundant)

Like Lao Tzu said; true power seems weak.

@Dreamweaver , I don’t know if you still ever visit the forum, but thank you very much for giving us timeless gifts.

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Well, this is interesting.

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Fear Removal Stack

I created a dedicated Fear Removal Module. I think I need to supplement the Architect of Reality with this:

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I would also add:

  • Stress Relief
  • Vagus Nerve Stimulation
  • Oxytocin + Neuropeptide Y
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Thanks @JAAJ ,

Honestly, I couldn’t handle that entire stack the other day. It was too much and it caused more harm than good. So, I think I’ll have to create a different strategy for fear removal/release.

I read the descriptions of the fields you suggested, and it seems they indeed may help. I’ll update my post above.

Furthermore, I slept with Holy Paladin all night the next day and that helped. I think the knight mindset and the alchemical holy light keep me on track.

That being said, I’m currently convinced to go with this:

Consistency Over Intensity

That’s my strategy, which I’m reminding myself for the 100th time. : )
I’m learning ‘the same thing’ from different perspectives. :slight_smile: I suppose we can say my understanding is gaining depth.

Everything I learned in the past 30 days highlight the value of concentration, consistency, focus, patience and gentleness.

So, no more strong ‘guest stacks’.

I think focusing on the same fields consistently has a compounding effect.

I think I’ll focus on

  • Architect of Reality (~30mins noon, ~30mins evening)
  • Plasma Flaunt (1x morning, 1x before bed)
  • Holy Paladin (during day + sleep \w silent tracks )
  • The 3 wealth/luck fields that depattern negative beliefs. (randomly throughout the day)

for the first ~1 week, I’ll sleep with Holy Paladin & Voodoo Detangled.
February is mostly a cleansing month.

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Going for the compounding effect

I’ll stick to a strict program, consistently.

February Cleansing & Healing Program (WIP)

The Concentrated Stack

I will play the 5 fields above every day (or at least ~6 days a week).
In addition, I’ll play some more cleansing fields every other day.

The Long Stack - every other day.

Morning

Evening

Overnight with some silent tracks to get proper rest.

Once a week, the longevity fields:

They also trigger repair, so I think I can ‘taste’ them over the weekends or so.

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Sexual Energy Transmutation

Okay, I’m convinced by now that this is something I need to master.
Thankfully, I’ve overcome the harmful habit of excessive ejaculation -and lustful thoughts-, but it still hits me every other week or so…

I think it may be because my body doesn’t know how to handle a full tank of Jing or whatever… Excuse my lack of expertise in these concepts. But as far as I understand, I must teach my body to transmute. I have an intuition-like knowing that it’s the missing element in my current practices and I’ll level up greatly once I teach my body how to do it.

So, I’ll lay out the related fields here, and do some reading to figure out which one and how often I should integrate into my February journey.

What the programming in this will do, is; work towards transmuting all the lower and basal energies into a higher vibrational ‘spiritual’ energy. It does not change your thinking patterns, but a higher type energy can influence that. Always be mindful of your ego as well. This should complete the internal alchemy series. Use as often as you need.

Lower basal energies are the base, more animal desires seeking pleasure from sex and other vices. The microcosmic orbit is the circulatory flow of energy from your head down to your pelvis. Transmutation of lower basal energies and instincts into a higher vibrational more spirit energy while at the same time also running energy through the microcosmic orbit to clear the energy system of any junk while at the same time expanding it.

This is quite a special field, I was unsure of where to post it, since its actually an alchemy, it should be on @Energetic Alchemy​ . Its also valuable so perhaps it should’ve been sold. But I decided to put it here and it also goes on patreon. So the Ojas are more of internal alchemy process this automates and pre-creates the process and effects. So this means that the entire process and time is drastically cut short and enhanced. Go ahead and give it a try and see.

Here is a unique audio that transforms the excess energy. This type of energy the base of which is lifeforce, is uplifted and used instead to engorge your cells with a healing form of life force while diminishing the drive and need for sexual expression a sort of repurposing and used instead to help provide a bit of rejuvenation.

  • Radiant Sexuality includes Microcosmic Orbit Flow + Dissolving Repression in Sexual Energy + bunch of other things.

Considering my recent learning experiences;

  • I think it’s best I start with the simplest field (the original).
    • My body/mind can ‘learn’ only so much at once. I can ‘upgrade’ after ~10 days.
  • After integrating transmutation as a subconscious habit (or an active practice I can do regularly), I’ll be able to flood myself with the Jing fields and do greater spiritual practices.
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The difference in my thinking… day and night.

I have categorized my goals/fields into 3 main stacks:

  • Freedom (cleansing, detachment, cutting cords, de-patterning, transmutation, righteousness, etc)
  • Prosperity (scarcity removal, luck/probability, abundance, etc)
  • Healing (detoxing, rejuvenation, regeneration, de-aging, etc)

and I have a specific financial goal in mind.
my perspective on that goal…

The goal seemed too high at first, and then became soo easy for 2 days, and then it was quite difficult once more…

and here I realize how much the fields effects are when they rise and fall.
Of course the goal is to establish stability in high/abundant vibrations and grow further, but this process is also serving like a natural ego dissolution. Seeing all the fluctuations and the immutable awareness behind them…

I think I’ve done a pretty good job organizing my fields/efforts into those 3 categories. It seems that this type of mental order help me benefit from more fields without much toll on the energy body. or maybe it’s that my energy body already became stronger : )

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